my boyfriend has aspergers

Hi guys,

I'm new here so please bear with me.
I have a little bit of an issue with my boyfriend who has Aspergers. He is really embarrassed of this so much so that he broke up with me because he said he wants to understand his mind more and doesn't want to me hurt me because he can't, though I know he tries, give me emotional support.
A little bit of a background with us -
We've known each other for five years and through these years I have noticed that he is isn't like other guys in the sense that he says mean comments but doesn't see how they're mean and can't be emotional etc. I've seen him cry three times and they were massive melt downs that frightened me a bit but I tried my best to make him better. There is no doubt in my head about how much he loves me and wants the best for me even though he can't show it often.
I really don't mind having to be more patient and give him more time to understand his aspergers and I'm worried about him because he told me I was a really big support for him yet now he's ended that because he believes it's best for me.
How can I show him that he shouldn't be embarrassed about it? How can I show him I understand him and I still want to be with him?
He is an amazing boyfriend and I know him so well. I have a history of mental illnesses within my family so I am good at comforting him and trying to understand. It's just that he's the only person with Aspergers I know.
Any advice would be really useful and I really hope I can get him to see that he shouldn't be selfless and think about how I might feel because I don't feel like he's hurting me when we are together.

the key part here is that you know that he has your best intentions at heart. you will need to remember that whenever any misunderstanding occur, as they no doubt will. i suggest that you write him a letter expressing your thoughts to him, much as you have done here. aspies tend to digest written information better. it gives them the opportunity to absorb it at their own pace. also, try to give him the space that he feels he needs to get things into perspective. aspies do tend to retreat from situations when they feel over-whelmed, especially emotionally. trying to force such situations tends only to make them worse.

I agree with shock here..

I have a tendency to retreat when I'm feeling vulnerable and it takes me a while to come back to being able to be in the external world.
The letter is a really good idea.. he can process it in his own time and see how he feels when he's less emotionally raw than he likely is atm.

Why is he particularly embarrassed about his aspergers right now though? Has someone said or done something to make him reflect on just how much his aspergers affects him? (failure of a friendship/family issues/job issues etc.).
xx