Brother's dx

My little brother is 12 and his doctor thinks he has AS. He has to do some crazy long test this week to be officially diagnosed. My parents haven't told him any of this; they're telling him "the doctor wants to learn about how you learn" and he has no idea what's going on. My mom forbid my sister and I from telling him. My parents are already convinced that he has AS (after reading more about it, I'm inclined to agree) but they're acting like it's the end of the world, like he's suddenly been diagnosed with cancer or something.

The whole situation seems ridiculous to me, because he is just a kid and he's the same as he's ever been, its not like he suddenly came down with a case of Asperger's. He's always had issues with social interactions, body language, intense interest in math, etc... now it just has a name. Is this a normal reaction for my parents to have? Does it seem right that they would not tell him what's going on? I feel like he's a little old for them to be not telling him why they keep taking him to the doctor. Any thoughts?

Heya,


I do think that they should tell him what is going on. Their secrecy indicates overprotectivesness which will really upset your bro when he finds out. Their intense worrying might also indicate a lack of knowledge of Asperger's. They have probably realised that Aperger's is a form of Autism - The word 'Autism' is misinterpreted.


The truth is that many people with Asperger's can live successful lives. Your parents' worrying about this will rub-off onto your bro and will possibly make him feel much worse than he might otherwise feel.


So, keep me posted on what happens anyway. Sometimes the stigma/worrying around having a potential illness/syndrome has the effect of making the illness/syndrome worse.


Kevin.

Alot of what you're saying is how i felt when i was diagnosed i felt like everyone would start seeing me differently like less of a human and start giving me "special" treatment. Like just because it had a name now everything would change, it was hard to take at first i was in denial. I don't know what you should do, i sort of feel if you tell him then he may start acting different and feeling less than his peers. It's a toughy really, one thing's for sure you should make sure you should keep treating him as you have always done.

There's a rather obvious reason that's likely behind why your parents don't want him told what the testing is about.

Most people with Asperger's have above-average intelligence. If you tell an Aspie that you think they have Asperger's and they learn what Asperger's is you won't be able to get a completely candid test.


It's nearly impossible for me to take a psychiatric test without it reflecting more of what I want it to say than how I actually am. I see the questions and I see the motives behind the questions and the answers. Most of the time my evaluation results are along the lines of "indicates poor disclosure" or something like that.


If your brother doesn't know he's being tested for Asperger's, and (even more ideally) what Asperger's is, it will be infinitely easier for the psychiatrist to determine for certain whether your brother has AS or not.

As for whether or not your parents decide to flip out over the findings... well there isn't a whole lot that can be done there. Best you can do is be a good brother and help him out as much as you can. No one can stop another person from freaking out if their determined to do so.