Do you sometimes just not want to use your voice?

Most of the time, during the day, I'm ok talking, especially if it's one-on-one with someone I'm comfortable with, but there are times when I just do not want to open my mouth and speak. Specifically and especially in the mornings when I first wake up, for the first hour or so is the worst. If husband talks to me of course I need to answer, so I do but I have to force it because it feels very.... "uncomfortable" is the only word I can think of, for me. Like being rubbed the wrong way.
The words "Good Morning" are are words that nobody ever hears me say LOL
I procrastinate making phone calls for the same reason, I just don't want to talk. I'll email when at all possible over making a phone call.
It's always the worst when I'm tired. The more tired I am the less I want to speak. I just don't like using my vocal chords.

Is this just because I used to have Selective Mutism, or are some of you aspies like this too?

No I don't think it's related to selective mutism (which I've never had). It happens just the same with me. More than that, I find it very uncomfortable when I have to communicate at all during the first hour of my day.

Very often. It's become such a problem for me that it's really affected my life, but I am much more practical now about what I do talk about.

-- Fri May 17, 2013 12:14 am --

Very often. It's become such a problem for me that it's really affected my life, but I am much more practical now about what I do talk about.

the wise old owl,
he sat in the oak.
the more he heard,
the less he spoke.

the less he spoke,
the more he heard.
now wasn't that,
a wise old bird!

I hate phonecalls. Absolutely detest them. I always make someone else make my phonecalls (which is honestly a little bit embarrasing) or I try to contact them by other means (texts, email etc). There are only a few people I'm comfortable calling, which is my mother, sister and fiance. I'm uncomfortable with my dad and granmother, but I still manage. Anyone else I hate calling and I avoid it at all cost.

This...resonated with me a lot. Became super apparent last weekend (something I was really thinking of posting about...

slugger wrote:Specifically and especially in the mornings when I first wake up, for the first hour or so is the worst.

I think this may be kinda universal. I noticed, on the bus, few people talk in the mornings..well, less people in the mornings than the evenings. It just seems quieter. I definitely am quieter in the morning, too.

There are mornings I'm sometimes bouncing around..so ti really depends.

If husband talks to me of course I need to answer, so I do but I have to force it because it feels very.... "uncomfortable" is the only word I can think of, for me. Like being rubbed the wrong way.
The words "Good Morning" are are words that nobody ever hears me say LOL

My father and I talk...a lot. There are times, though, when I really don't want to talk so I won't answer the phone when he calls. He kinda knows sometimes this happens, and it offends him, but he's been okay about it for the most part.

I procrastinate making phone calls for the same reason, I just don't want to talk. I'll email when at all possible over making a phone call.

I'm delaying on a phone call right now because I don't want to talk on the phone. I text whenever possible, instead of calling. I email whenever possible, too. I hate talking on the phone.

I talk to my father on the phone only because it's the only way we can communicate much...

It's always the worst when I'm tired. The more tired I am the less I want to speak. I just don't like using my vocal chords.

Is this just because I used to have Selective Mutism, or are some of you aspies like this too?

This really resonated with me. I was debating, for a few days, my behavior on Sunday. I'll give a small description of what happened here.

Before going to see the new Star Trek (which is good, btw) with a friend, I was full of energy, excited, etc. I went to the mall early (about an hour), and was mostly fine there and through the movie. The movie was really loud and I had to use headphones. Anyways, leaving the movie I felt absolutely drained. I had some energy left, so the friend and I went to a few stores - which I felt fine at, but upon leaving the mall I was totally drained. He wanted to continue hanging out, but I was really quiet..I couldn't really talk. I told him that I'm going to skip hanging out any more, that I'm really exhausted and more want to sleep.

My father has commented, many times, about the "weird mood" I get into sometimes, where I just get really quiet and don't talk/laugh/anything. I noticed this is consistent with situations that drain me (like going to the mall).

So yeah, this definitely happens to me..and fairly often, too. I don't know why it happens, but I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this.

Thanks all, interesting to hear that this is common.

LOL Shock, is that why I'm so darned wise LOL


TDT, I know what you mean about people being quiet in the morning, but I would guess that for most of them, it's more just a "tendency", rather than a real discomfort.
Of course it's not surprising that you feel similarly to me, I'm more surprised when you don't!

Leiladream, it was problem for me in the past too, so I've really forced myself to talk when I don't want to, and it does lessen with practice. Sort of an intentional de-sensitization. A necessary evil!

I'd actually be very curious, Slugger, if you find a strategy for dealing with this.

My strategy is "alone time". If I'm with others, I leave and find the quietest place and stay there. If this is going home, that's best..but not always possible. I went to the mall of america with my father, for example, and had to take multiple "time outs" to be able to handle the trip..and 80+% of the time him and I were in different areas of the mall (I was hanging out by myself, in other words).

As a child, my family always poked fun at me (or complained) that I was "too grumpy". I guess it never really changed... People usually know me as either "extremely quiet" or "extremely talkative" (probably depending on the specific situation when I most struck them as odd). I don't have much of an in-between.

I was wondering about this the other day, and I chanced upon (or, more precisely, "was chanced upon"...) a video of an ostensibly aspie man testifying in a deposition. At first I didn't notice anything unusual about his speech, but then the person who sent me the video told me his speech sounded rushed and emotionless, and that this wasn't normal. Well, shouldn't it be expected to be that way instead?

He's not telling a fantastical fairy tale to little kids, or giving a speech to a hysterical crowd — he's giving a formal statement! So, why wouldn't his speech be rushed and emotionless? He may want to cooperate (or maybe he's being forced to by the circumstances), but that doesn't mean he literally wants to speak.

Come to think of it, this is a type of situation that most people will face in their everyday lives (at home, at work, etc. — basically everywhere where there's people). Except, most people (i.e. NT's) will effortlessly and automatically "hide" it by adding complexity to their speech even when it's not technically necessary.