lyrics ...

well, to me shock the monkey has always been about the pain inherent in self-awareness. and i chose if for my username because aspies tend to suffer more than most in that respect.

Makes sense!

I don't know why but i've been listening to songs from my old playlists a lot lately.
I remember listening to this when i was preparing for the university exams, so it reminds me of that year and the things happening at the time.

Cranberries-Twenty One

I don’t think it’s going to happen anymore
You took my thoughts from me
Now I want nothing more
And did you think you
Could just take it all away

I don’t think it’s happening
This is what I say

Leave me alone,leave me alone,
Leave me alone,cause I found it all
Twenty one, twenty one, twenty one...

So I don’t think it’s going to happen anymore
I don’t think it’s going
To happen anymore

Twenty one,twenty one,twenty one...

Today...

I've been having a look into this but TBH, I really dislike vocals full stop.
Simple decent sound patterns is all I want.
The moment I hear a human voice overlaid, I cringe and the song is spoiled.
Symphony with maybe visual spacial movement. Raw and uncontaminated.

Examples of the vocals removed:
Firework http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CebHk040Z1E
∞ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyln_mMMhws

Feel difference?
My emotional imagination can occasionally be so powerful, I can fill in the blanks myself.
There's no need to synchronise with the blithering NT's. Once more, you can then chop them up into section and increase the length with software without the need to loop.

It's the main reason why I prefer space synth:
Space debris http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjgnGw1kXOs
If your aggravated, here's a dark one:
Recursive Singularity http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuvhMg7aZbM
Or if you want to suck them in:
Black Hole http://youtu.be/t2PZir3DK2M?t=5s (forward to 2:20 for the best bit)
If you like waging war against the hoards of NT's:
Lights of Stalingrad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDQX8MDN5BQ (4:54 nuked)
This one is just for laughs:
Symphony of the Fairies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvyl123D8g0
And one of my personal favourites for internal stability:
Harmonizer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6JZD1aQYS4


This is of course just my short list.
Just dig through the mass of youtube lists, you'll find most of them eventually.

A song I've always loved, by one of my favorite bands, but hearing it just now I realize how much it appeals to the aspie in me:
(It's also one of my son's favorite songs)

"Behind Blue Eyes"
The Who

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Eminem: Legacy

[Intro: Polina]
Tell me where to go, tell me what to do, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me what to say, don’t matter if it’s true, I’ll say it all for you

[Verse 1: Eminem]
I used to be the type of kid that, would always think the sky is falling
Why am I so differently wired? Am I a martian?
What kind of twisted experiment am I involved in
Cause I don't belong in this world
That’s why I'm scoffing at authority, defiant often
Flying off at the handle with my mom, no dad
So I’m non-compliant at home, at school I’m just shy and awkward
And no I don’t need no goddamn psychologist
Tryna diagnose why I have all these underlying problems
Thinking he can try and solve 'em, I’m outside chalking up
Drawings on the sidewalk and in the front drive talking to myself
Either that or inside hiding off in
The corner somewhere quiet, trying not to be noticed
I’m crying and sobbing, I had a bad day at school so I ain't talking
Some cocksucker shoved me into a ######6 locker, cause he said I eyeballed him

[Bridge: Polina]
And if you fall, ill get you there, I’ll be your savior from all the wars
That are fought inside your world, please have faith in my words cause

[Hook: Polina]
This is my legacy (Legacy)
This is my legacy (Legacy)
There's no guarantee, it’s not up to me you can only see
This is my legacy (Legacy)

[Verse 2: Eminem]
I used to be the type of kid that, would always think the sky is falling
Why am I so differently wired in my noggin?
Cause sporadic as my thoughts come, it's mind boggling
Cause I obsess on everything, in my mind small $#%^ bothers me
But now my father, he said Sayonara,then split
But I don’t give a $#%^ I’m fine long as
There's batteries in my Walkman,nothing is the matter with me
$#%^ look at the bright side at least I ain’t walking
I bike ride through the neighborhood of my apartment
Complex on a ten speed which I've acquired parts that I
Find in the garbage, a frame and put tires on it
Headphones on straight ahead and kids try to start $#%^
But if this all there is for me, Life offers
Why bother even trying to put up a fight, it's nonsense
But I think a lightbulb just lit up in my conscience
What about those rhymes I've been jottin'
They are kinda giving me confidence
Instead of tryina escape through my comics
Why don't I just blast a little something like Onyx
To put me in the mood to wanna fight and write songs that
Say what I wanna say to the kid that said that I eyeballed him
Grab hold of my balls like that's right fight's on bitch
Who would've knew from the moment I turned the mic on that
I could be iconic, in my conquest
Word to Phife Dawg from a Tribe Called Quest

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Eminem]
I used to be the type of kid that, would always think the sky is falling
Now I think the fact that I'm differently wired's awesome
Cause if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to work
Words like this and connect lines like crosswords
And use my enemy's words as strength
To try and draw from, and get inspired off em
Cause all my life I was told and taught I am not $#%^
By you wack ######6 giant sacks of lying dog $#%^
Now you shut up bitch I am talking
Thought I was full of horseshit and now
You ######6 worship the ground in which I am walking
Me against the world so what? I'm Brian Dawkins
Versus the whole 0-16 Lions offense
So bring on the Giants Falcons and Miami Dolphins
It's the body bag game bitch I'm supplying coffins
Cause you dicks butt kiss, a bunch of Brian Baldingers
You gon die a ball licker, I've been diabolical
With this dialogue since '99 Rawkus
You don't respect the legacy I leave behind y'all can
Suck a dick the day you beat me pigs'll fly out my ass
In a flying saucer full of Italian sausage
The most high exalting and I ain't halting
Till I die of exhaustion inhale my exhaust fumes
The best part about me is I am not you
I am me I'm a fire marshall and this is my

[Hook]

Insecurities and the self-defeating need for definite answers...

Chvrches: Recover

Carved earth, cold
Hiding from you in this skin
So old
I'll come clean
Everyone, everyone knows
It's me

And if I recover
Will you be my comfort?
Or it can be over
Or we can just leave it here
So pick any number
Choose any color
I've got the answer
Open the envelope

I'll give you one more chance
To say we can change or part ways
And you take what you need
And you don't need me

I'll give you one more chance
To say we can change our old ways
And you take what you need
And you know you don't need me

Blow by blow
Honest in every way I know
You appear
To face a decision I know you fear

And you know you don't need me...

When I was younger, I liked "Sympathy" by The Goo Goo Dolls because of its simple, repetitive melody (most songs I enjoy are simple/repetitive). But at this point in my life I find myself relating to the lyrics so much that it gives me goosebumps.

Sympathy
The Goo Goo Dolls

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need
(All I wanted)
And what I chase won't set me free
(It's all I wanted)
And I get scared, but I'm not crawling on my knees

Oh yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
I take these things so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

And it's hard to live the life you choose
(All I wanted)
When all your luck's run out on you
(All I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams are coming true

Oh yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And nowhere's home, and I'm all wrong

And I wasn't all the things I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk
And all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me

Oh yeah

Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy

I used to listen to this band a lot when i was a teenager and i still love them. The lyrics were originally in japanese since they're a j-rock band so this is a rough translation of one of my fav. songs:

Pillows-The Carnival

All alone on the ferris wheel
Looking down on the world I hate so much

I was waiting for the day you and I would meet
I sat straight up in the sunbeams, and they burned me
I opened the window meant just for me
I was waiting for a day like that to come here

Even reaching out my hands
It's an age that gives no rewards
A future that gives no salvation
Peals of my laughter would come at just a kiss with you

In the footsteps of those who have gone before
I want to chant, with my swimming head,
A blessing with that ineffectual charm
I have just one ally, and that is you

If I kept my eyes open
They would be hurt
By the wind that pierces the night
Peals of my laughter would come at just a kiss with you

The two of us
Dreamt at the same time
Of an age reborn
A future with a rainbow hung in the sky
At just a kiss with you, I came to tears

I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

lock the target
bait the line
spread the net
catch the man

"headhunter" front242
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1cRGVaJF7Y