Aspergers and Sex

slugger, i was pulling your leg. that's all.

shock_the_monkey wrote:slugger, i was pulling your leg. that's all.

Oh I am off my game today, not feeling very good. Makes my brain numb lol.

I'm interested...

Too tired to respond to some of the posts but intend to soon...

Just a teaser though...

Seeing a sex worker is not really cheating...since it usually involves the animalistic urges rather than the predominately cognitive aspects which defines a "meaningful" relationship.
Having an affair, on the other hand, is cheating I would have thought.

Surveys indicate that the majority of clients who see sex workers here in Oz are married men.
Many married men love their partner yet still see a sex worker.

On an adult forum I was on a few years ago, a number of husbands mentioned seeing a sex worker helped their marriage by allowing them to satisfy their purely sexual appetite while maintaining the relationship with their significant other.

Keep in mind that nothing mentioned above has any direct relationship to me personally.
I am merely being an objective observer without bias as far as that is possible.

Keep in mind, men tend to be polygamous...
Evolution has made them(us) what they are regardless of self denial...<shrug>
It is easier for women to be "virtuous" since they they have different genetically inspire imperatives...
I suggest people don't take the human animal too seriously...

Sh3ld0n wrote:Seeing a sex worker is not really cheating...since it usually involves the animalistic urges rather than the predominately cognitive aspects which defines a "meaningful" relationship.
Having an affair, on the other hand, is cheating I would have thought.

i'd have thought that adultery was adultery, whether one's paying for it or not!!!

Sh3ld0n wrote:Surveys indicate that the majority of clients who see sex workers here in Oz are married men.

and surveys also say 1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce. i'm not sure what this has to do with morality???

Sh3ld0n wrote:Many married men love their partner yet still see a sex worker.

that does ever so slightly sound like an oxymoron to me!!!

Sh3ld0n wrote:On an adult forum I was on a few years ago, a number of husbands mentioned seeing a sex worker helped their marriage by allowing them to satisfy their purely sexual appetite while maintaining the relationship with their significant other.

in other words, they were able to remain faithful whilst being unfaithful. sounds ever so slightly like the same oxymoron, above. it might be me, but i'm thinking why did they get married in the first place. and i'm also thinking their wife probably doesn't know either.

Sh3ld0n wrote:Keep in mind that nothing mentioned above has any direct relationship to me personally.
I am merely being an objective observer without bias as far as that is possible.

damn!!! this could have been such fun too.

Sh3ld0n wrote:Keep in mind, men tend to be polygamous...
Evolution has made them(us) what they are regardless of self denial...<shrug>
It is easier for women to be "virtuous" since they they have different genetically inspire imperatives...
I suggest people don't take the human animal too seriously...

keep in mind, no one has to get married. if what a man wants is a series of random sexual encounters then marriage ought to out of the question for him. but the truth is that men want their cake and eat it. so, they marry for sex and then they stray for yet more sex. it's hardly a moral high ground. and i, for one, won't be making excuses for this kind of behaviour for exactly that reason.

Amen, Shock!

If I was married or in an official relationship, him having sex with another woman (paid for or not) would imo be cheating. I think most women would agree. Though there are some couples who are into swinger-stuff, but they usually go to conventions of like-minded people. Overall, women view sex as cheating. There's physical cheating, and emotional cheating ie> "affairs of the heart" it's all cheating. If the man hides it from his woman, he knows he's doing wrong.

Same with most men would be upset if their woman was seeing another man-paid for or not. He'd be insulted. It'd be a blow to his pride. He'd feel like he wasn't doing his "job" right. Just like the woman would be feeling.

Personally, when any of my needs (physical, emotional, etc) aren't being met-I let my guy know. How he chooses to rectify that situation, if he rectifies it at all, is up to him. If the same issue is brought up numerous times and he does nothing to fix it, chances are he never will unless serious action is taken, such as cheating or ending the relationship-I usually end it. I say this because I know there's women (and men) all over the world who stop making efforts to satisfy their spouses needs. They fall into a rut, or have some other issue. Sometimes the (we'll use husband for the example) husband actually will let his wife know-on repeated occasions-that he's feeling frustrated in that department, but she does nothing to service him. She continues watching American Idol or Dancing with the Stars and stuffing her face. After a certain amount of time (like months) and repeated attempts at discussion with no resolution, it's understandable that he's going to cheat. Because his wife is being an ignorant so-and-so. Then she'll get emotional when the truth comes out "How could you do this to me? Wah wah wah" meanwhile its kinda her fault, but she'll never see that.

But then there are other guys who think its cool and perfectly acceptable to bang as many chicks as possible, paid for or not, whether or not he's in a seemingly perfect relationship with a seemingly perfect woman who is oblivious to what a jerk she's with. Those are the ones I don't understand. Why have a girlfriend, why get engaged, why get married if you just want to add notches to your belt? Why not just be Barney from the earlier seasons of How I Met Your Mother? I don't like the saying about having cake and eating it too, because what's the point of having cake if you aren't going to eat it? Even if it's somebodies birthday cake, chances are you'll end up having a slice. Most people make or buy cake with the intention of eating it. We need to come up with a saying that makes more sense.

FeythFaerie wrote:Amen, Shock!

If I was married or in an official relationship, him having sex with another woman (paid for or not) would imo be cheating. I think most women would agree. Though there are some couples who are into swinger-stuff, but they usually go to conventions of like-minded people. Overall, women view sex as cheating. There's physical cheating, and emotional cheating ie> "affairs of the heart" it's all cheating. If the man hides it from his woman, he knows he's doing wrong.

First thing I should mention (before you gals and Shocky knee me in the gonads, as Howard Wolowitz might say) is that it is in my nature to lean towards monogamy, but if I were to be honest (I'm autistic, do I really have a choice), that might be due to my being a chick repellant rather than a chick magnet...
It might also simply be due to the inherent honest nature of most on the autistic spectrum...
And not being good at lying...

And consider this:
Sexual power tends to corrupt...
Absolute sexual power tends to corrupt absolutely...
Just ask Tiger Woody (Woods...appropriate...lol)

But getting back on topic...
I have heard/read that NT men in particular tend to downplay the importance of extra relationship sexual dalliance.
"It's only sex, ffs..."
One may not like this attitude, but if one is interested in the honest reality, I personally think one needs to accept "the inconvenient truth..." that many, if not most, men think this way.
THE BEASTS!!!

One of the arguments on the adult website which married men gave for their hi-in-fidelity was that their partner "let themselves go"...
Most men, no matter how honourable or good natured, tend to be overly influenced by superficial good looks...nature of the beast...blame evolution...<shrug>
They still loved their significant other, didn't want to leave them, but didn't find them sexually attractive.
Their solution was to gratify their sexual urges without emotional involvement with a sex worker.

<In the voice of Howard Wolowitz>
Remember gals, men are from Mars and women are from Venus...
But then Wolowitz had this little beauty:
“Are you from Mars because your ass is out of this world.”
Go figure...

My point is that men, women and Shocky see things from a different perspective...duh...

This post is getting too long so I will end here and continue in another post...

FeythFaerie wrote:Amen, Shock!

But then there are other guys who think its cool and perfectly acceptable to bang as many chicks as possible, paid for or not, whether or not he's in a seemingly perfect relationship with a seemingly perfect woman who is oblivious to what a jerk she's with.

There have been studies suggesting many women are attracted to men who treat them badly...
"Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen..."

FeythFaerie wrote:Amen, Shock!

If I was married or in an official relationship, him having sex with another woman (paid for or not) would imo be cheating. I think most women would agree.

and so do i (even though i'm not a woman). so, i'm not quite sure why you're shooting me!!! might i suggest you re-target your wrath in Sh3ld0n's direction??? sorry Sh3ld0n.

-- Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:57 pm --

FeythFaerie wrote:I don't like the saying about having cake and eating it too, because what's the point of having cake if you aren't going to eat it? Even if it's somebodies birthday cake, chances are you'll end up having a slice. Most people make or buy cake with the intention of eating it. We need to come up with a saying that makes more sense.

this is actually a perfectly good and logical saying. to still have your cake (to be eaten) and have eaten it (such that it can not be eaten again) is clearly an oxymoron. you can't do both. n'est-ce pas???

Sh3ld0n wrote:hi-in-fidelity

excellent album by R E O Speedwagon, BTW!

so, what you're sying is whilst you don't exactly agree with the 3Fs you're not exactly going to condemn them??? seems to me, we either view ourselves as moral and ordered or immoral and disordered. but i'm probably being much too simplistic there.

Seeing a prostitute whilst in a relationship is still cheating. If anything, it's worse since you are actively paying someone to have sex with you which degrades both parties, but the prostitute more imo.

I would be so mad if I found out my partner had paid for sex. It's still a breach of trust at the end of the day and still sharing with someone else what should be only with your partner.