How do I explain?

I haven't told many people about my AS because I don't know how to explain. I have been diagnosed at age 32 and have hidden it pretty well by faking normal in various ways - largely by copy, practise and not taking many risks where I might be 'exposed'.

I'm afraid people will say 'you don't have a problem - you're just blowing it out of proportion'. I have read some excellent books that describe how the autistic mind works, and they describe my thought processes exactly. But it's so hard to explain it succinctly to someone who knows nothing about it.

Also there is a lot of TV stuff about stereotypical children with AS, children who are very noticeably 'different'. I don't appear like the stereotype and that makes me scared of not being believed.

I have a high IQ and I think it has helped me because I have made a lot of 'rules' up that help me navigate through social situations smoothly enough to survive. I may not be Joe Average but I don't seem way-off base enough to be singled out all the time. But I have managed to learn to simulate the skills I inherently lack. So telling people about the typical aspects like difficulty in social situations, reading emotions etc, they just look at me like I'm making it up or exaggerating.

I think the main problems I have with AS are the glut of anxiety that accompanies everything I do or think, the obsessiveness, the attention to needless details. But most of all its the way I process thoughts. It is unusual and I don't have the intuitive skills of my peers. But I can simulate some, it just causes a lot of stress because of the excessive effort it takes me to do EVERYTHING, every day things that should be beyond simple seem like college-level assignments. I can simulate common-sense, but it is not instinctive; it's a logical exercise every time.

Sorry I've written so much (verbal diarrhea is another problem I have! )

I would be so grateful for any advice at all. I know everyone's experience is different, but if you relate to any of this and can offer advice, I'd be really grateful. Thanks

I relate to what you have portrayed here. I previously unheard of Asperger's Syndrome up until last week. However, since researching it I have found that every symptom listed for it fits me. It was like reading a biography of my life.


In general I believe that we simply acquire social skills much slower than other people. Some of us give up along the way however, due to it being too hard. That is my case. I have attempted many times in my past to become social but it never works out. Because of the way I view the world I never get along with people for too long. In my life so far I have gone from one group of friends to another and each time the relationship 'expired' and I have had to move on.