i don't want to die a virgin!

I don't want to die a virgin!.....

Heh...many of us don't. But sometimes you have to be patient. To wait for somebody who can equally understand you and what you need emotionally and sexually.

If you are talking about AS related social interaction, there is counseling and therapy to help with both social awareness and sensory issues regarding touch.

If affection is troublesome, having a person who you know and understand as your partner is easier than a stranger or random person. Although that is a personal understanding.

Panic

###$ you Panic!

Aspie with a grudge wrote:###$ you Panic!

Will you stop Aspie with a grudge, if you name call once more you can be banned from this site.

This is the last warning I will give you ok... so stop the name CALLING!!!

So that's what it's like to be served fine i'll stop....but i'm not happy about it.

Aspie got served wrote:So that's what it's like to be served fine i'll stop....but i'm not happy about it.

You don't have to be happy about aspie. What you are doing is against the rules, and name-calling is not acceptable here on Psych Forums, if you do it again you will be banned.

No one on here deserves to be name-called, if you disagree then that is fine, do so without that kind of language.


Or better yet, don't bother reading or replying to that member's posts.

hmm....it such a funny thing to hear.....but maybe you should be happy to still be a virgin.....Christians believe that virginity should be saved until marriage. Plus there are lots of STDs out there and HIV is spreading more and more.
Culture seems to brainwash guy into thinking that if you're not having sex it means you're a failure and it's pretty sick.
I've found that people who don't restrain themselves end up with a girlfriend pregnant and paying child support.

The most important thing is to find a person you're compatible with and enjoy being around and who looks attractive to you(yes guys are shallow we're usually more visuospatial than girls which is the reason for this). However girls can be shallow too....go fig.

Saying things like "I don't wanna die a virgin" makes you sound desparate and that's not attractive at all.
Do you really want meaningless sex?
Have you ever seen the movie "Catch me if you can"?
The main character had sexual encounters that didn't mean anything to him......it left him feeling very empty.

I also think you should check out "His Needs, Her Needs"

The list of need of men and women in a relationship:

Men
1. Sexual fulfillment(yup...it up here at the top...but meaningful sex..."love sex" is a word that comes to mind)
2. Recreational companionship(doing things you both like together)
3. Attractive spouse(yup, we're shallow like that
4. Domestic support(it's true...men rarely like to clean...which means if someone else isn't cleaning it will STAY dirty...that guy ain't neva gonna clean...that doesn't mean the guy shouldn't do his share of the chores...but usually the guy won't do too much unless the lady yells at him to)
5. Admiration(men like their ego stroked)

Women
1. Affection(you aren't getting any if she's angry at you XD ...women like sex too but it has to mean something to them...if she's mad at you...she'll probably just masturbate in front of you to make you angry....alway keep up a strong emotional bond and understanding...this takes a bit of passiveness and understanding on both parts...how to show affection...spend alot of time with her...buy her things...always remember her holidays and give her gifts...and if she says she doesn't want anything buy her something anyway because when she said that she was just BSing...PAMPER PAMPER PAMPER!)
2. Conversation[not you talking too much(which will be hard to do with aspies) and not just being a good listener...so not long listens and no annoying monologues]
3. Honesty and openness(If you can be honest with each other all the time without any conflict....you got it made)
4. Financial support(because women are child bearers it seem instinctive in many/most women to want a guy who is affluent...women like a successful guy...on a recent MSN survery it says that wives you didn't have to work were happier than ones that did...which means that even though the feminist movement equalized things alot...some women still like gender roles. I guess some women have more estrogen than others)
5. Family commitment(women want a guy who will stick with her....the idea of the guy one day just up and leaving while she's got children isn't nice....a girl wants to know you're in it for the long haul)

If you aren't in a state of "eros" and obsessed with your girl but you are dating her...then you are dating her for the wrong reasons(believe me i've been in this situation before)
If you like a girl you're not gonna have a hard time calling the girl....infact you'll probably be bugging her all the time.
If you really like a girl she'll become you obsession(for an aspie infatuation is a bit more strong and lovesickness is more intense)

More than anything you need to find the right person and drop the "I want sex" thing. Asking someone for sex almost always ends up in denial from the other person. People usually don't talk into having sex. Sex will come you don't have to worry about it...worry about getting close to the other person first. Flirt a little and hangout.

It usually goes like this:
1. Talking
2. Hugging
3. Kissing and longer hugging(cuddling)
4. Passionate kissing
5. Sex

im not a virgin because im desperate and weird i actually got my fair share of female attention though its been such along time since ive conversed with the opposite sex its amazing i can remeber no my problems are far deeper than just changing my attitude toward sex.

I second what vayne said...cept i CANT remember the last time i talked to a chick. Its been like...since i was 12 i think...and im 18 now... Its so hard to talk to girls cause theres like all these secret facial expressions which are like impossible to recognise if your aspie. And the whole 'rules of engagement' thing confuses me...I swear nuclear physics is easier to understand...

Anonymous wrote:hmm....it such a funny thing to hear.....but maybe you should be happy to still be a virgin.....Christians believe that virginity should be saved until marriage. Plus there are lots of STDs out there and HIV is spreading more and more.
Culture seems to brainwash guy into thinking that if you're not having sex it means you're a failure and it's pretty sick.
I've found that people who don't restrain themselves end up with a girlfriend pregnant and paying child support.

The most important thing is to find a person you're compatible with and enjoy being around and who looks attractive to you(yes guys are shallow we're usually more visuospatial than girls which is the reason for this). However girls can be shallow too....go fig.

Saying things like "I don't wanna die a virgin" makes you sound desparate and that's not attractive at all.
Do you really want meaningless sex?
Have you ever seen the movie "Catch me if you can"?
The main character had sexual encounters that didn't mean anything to him......it left him feeling very empty.

I also think you should check out "His Needs, Her Needs"

The list of need of men and women in a relationship:

Men
1. Sexual fulfillment(yup...it up here at the top...but meaningful sex..."love sex" is a word that comes to mind)
2. Recreational companionship(doing things you both like together)
3. Attractive spouse(yup, we're shallow like that
4. Domestic support(it's true...men rarely like to clean...which means if someone else isn't cleaning it will STAY dirty...that guy ain't neva gonna clean...that doesn't mean the guy shouldn't do his share of the chores...but usually the guy won't do too much unless the lady yells at him to)
5. Admiration(men like their ego stroked)

Women
1. Affection(you aren't getting any if she's angry at you XD ...women like sex too but it has to mean something to them...if she's mad at you...she'll probably just masturbate in front of you to make you angry....alway keep up a strong emotional bond and understanding...this takes a bit of passiveness and understanding on both parts...how to show affection...spend alot of time with her...buy her things...always remember her holidays and give her gifts...and if she says she doesn't want anything buy her something anyway because when she said that she was just BSing...PAMPER PAMPER PAMPER!)
2. Conversation[not you talking too much(which will be hard to do with aspies) and not just being a good listener...so not long listens and no annoying monologues]
3. Honesty and openness(If you can be honest with each other all the time without any conflict....you got it made)
4. Financial support(because women are child bearers it seem instinctive in many/most women to want a guy who is affluent...women like a successful guy...on a recent MSN survery it says that wives you didn't have to work were happier than ones that did...which means that even though the feminist movement equalized things alot...some women still like gender roles. I guess some women have more estrogen than others)
5. Family commitment(women want a guy who will stick with her....the idea of the guy one day just up and leaving while she's got children isn't nice....a girl wants to know you're in it for the long haul)

If you aren't in a state of "eros" and obsessed with your girl but you are dating her...then you are dating her for the wrong reasons(believe me i've been in this situation before)
If you like a girl you're not gonna have a hard time calling the girl....infact you'll probably be bugging her all the time.
If you really like a girl she'll become you obsession(for an aspie infatuation is a bit more strong and lovesickness is more intense)

More than anything you need to find the right person and drop the "I want sex" thing. Asking someone for sex almost always ends up in denial from the other person. People usually don't talk into having sex. Sex will come you don't have to worry about it...worry about getting close to the other person first. Flirt a little and hangout.

It usually goes like this:
1. Talking
2. Hugging
3. Kissing and longer hugging(cuddling)
4. Passionate kissing
5. Sex

I think for a lot of guy's there is no such thing as meaningless sex, especially to someone who is an adult and has never done it before.

I don't know if you think he just doesn't want to die a virgin because of what society thinks, but if you do, you've got to remember that for some people it's not going to be because of what society thinks, it's because they just want to do it. They have a sex drive and they're obviously sexually frustrated and crave intimacy with a woman, it's natural. I'm 30 years old and still a virgin and this is exactly how I feel.