Aspergers is not that bad, it's who I am

I am 22 and have Aspergers, which I'll admit makes me stand out from others. I'm looking for someone to talk to that can relate with how I feel. I have always been "different", "shy", and "weird", but that is who I am. There is nothing to do but accept your fate. Honestly, I have always been alone, unable to make any kind of friends, except for those special few that use you because it's obious you're too trusting. I can observe those around me, like I always have, and try to figure out how they are enjoying themselves, but to me they have always just looked stupid. And they still do. Maybee it's sad, but I enjoy being alone. People are just too difficult, intense, and sometimes far too stupid to deal with. If you feel like me, e-mail me at wenc_me@yahoo.com for someone to talk to. I have never talked to anyone about AS, but I wouldn't mind a little company.

It's seems to me that you and alot of us (myself included) are trap through the "us vs. them" loop. People are not homogenous (the same) although some of us share common characteristics, these attributes ultimately don't decide who you are. You can let it rule who you are, but I would strongly advise against it, especially if it's because "other people" think that it is your dominant trait.

Take this senario, what if Asperger's were the dominant type of human beings. Lets say that 5% of the population are nuerotypicals and because we are the majority (and I'll even through this in) we were here first, we established the social edicate and we control most of the government because we are the majority. How do this make you feel, now that you are on top and not the minority. You probably feel more secure and less threaten, and self concious, right? Not quite, because now that you don't have to answer to your aspergers, you still have to answer to you depts to society, your roles and were your going to be.

What are you going to say, when you have a $#%^ day, and you pass by a nuerotypical who looks like he/she is down on his/her luck? You'll probably say "hey, at least am not that guy, he's really screwed, I don't have to know who he/she is, because his the other, the less representative".

Should this make you feel good? Hell no! This is what children do as far back as pre-schooled, and your the adult, mocking others not just because your the majority and their the minority, but because your arrogant enough to think that just because you don't have to walk in their shoes, you don't have to know them and you can mock them because of it.

So what would motivate you to relate to someone different from you. Would you want to befriend someone who is constantly complaining about how bad he/ she has it and that theres no point in going on because no one will respect you. No, because everyone has it bad, but you might say "well they don't have such and such, and because they are not "like me" their lives don't matter because must all be the same". If one of them was hit by a truck, it would be like saying goodbye to a rock or a tree or a dog that you don't know, because their all the same". Right? Wrong! That's hueristical thinking and it's stereotyping.

To answer the question why others don't respect those who don't respect themselves, that answer is that their selfish. Before anyone here tries to send my hate mail, because I had ALOT of trouble excepting this too, hear me out! When you feel sorrow for yourself, (or you feel that life's a bitch, all of the time: wake up in the morning, "wow, life still sucks and I haven't even done anything yet") because of misfortune ALL OF THE TIME, or most of the time, this create a bubble that alone allows negative thoughts about yourself (or others perhaps) to come in, and it isolates you from everyone else.

What happens when something good comes along, you ignore it or you downplay it, because it's not consistent with your current mood. Your pissed, you don't want to be happy, you want to be angry. This is your identity now. Anything that threatens you identity must be bad even if it is good.

This includes those that actually want to be your friend, your going to push them away. How would you feel if there was someone that you want to (and don't worry, you will) befriend and they push you away because you mention all of these great qualities (that are real by the way) and they can't see eye to eye with your perspective. At this point you've done everything in you power to sincerly help this guy out and he/she just won't let you in, so you have no choice but to move on and hope that perhaps one day he'll/she'll come to his/her senses.

The point is that everyone goes through these emotions despite what they have. For example, for a long alot of people looked up to America, and now we're (I am American by the way) not looking so hot. America is still one of the leading super powers in the world and it's influence is humongous, but this isn't stoping the negativity associated with 9/11 and the war one terrorism.

One last point and I'll stop. Lets do an analogy. American is a status like being an asperger is a status. The war on terrorism is an action just like making an A on a important exam. Amercians are looked down upon for the war because of the fact that Amercian troops are fighting Iraq, if anyone else was conductings this war, that country would probably be looked down upon too. If an asperger made an A on a really tough exam, some might be jealous, but this would still occur if this person were a neurotypical. You know why? The status doesn't determine how they feel about certain events or anyone, but there outlook on life.

If you want to be angry or sad that's your descision, but don't blame others for your decision. Because you assume that just because you are different, everyone else is the same, and think stereotypically, a few people represent that entire group (10 or 20 out of 5,000,000,000) that's a messed up ratio. "This guy was mean to me, and his friend laughed and riducled me, everyone must be like this guy right?" NO! One bad apple does ruin the bunch, but by ruin and mean it makes everyone else look like, well you know.

People are going to like you not because of your asperger's (and if they do, them maybe you should question their motives) but because of your actions, you attitude and how you portray youself. So what if your weird, so are other people, what makes them more special them you? There are empracing WHO they are, not WHAT they are, and not what people might think about them, and that's what generates alot of respect and love amongst different people.

P.S. I have Asperger syndrome, and I'm also 22 and my life isn't all happy but it isn't complete darkness. I'm not trying to by anti-anybody but rather I am upset but the trap of stereotyping and I recently had to stop myself from making many of the mistakes that I mentioned up above. It's incredibly easy and very dangerous to think like all members of a group are all the same and I'm worried about the future of human relations. I'm sorry if a made a lousy first impression but I hope that this advice is helpful to you and everyone else.