Asperger's syndrome girl with a crush...

by **Fallen_Angel73** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:58 pm

shock_the_monkey wrote:i candidly think you could loosen up a lot without having to loose any of your moral virtue. but it's up to you.

I agree.

About the obsession thing (I know how it's like, I've been there several times), try to contain it a little bit (although: contain it, not repress it). If you can't, try to let him know that it's just how you are. It just means you like him, nothing else.

On topic: http://youtu.be/VLOJQmsRpag

shock_the_monkey wrote:i'm a little surprised you think 21 is too young to have children. i think the legal age of consent in the UK is 16. and i get the impression that you think sex is in some way wrong. and that's causing you to have mixed feeling about being attracted to this boy. first thing you need to realise is that there's nothing wrong with sex between consenting adults. second thing you need to realise is that if you keep rejecting your natural desires you'll deny yourself the experience of what a sexual relationship is all about. that doesn't mean you have to jump into this feet first. but it does mean being a little more open to gaining some experience of the opposite sex. i candidly think you could loosen up a lot without having to loose any of your moral virtue. but it's up to you. if you do want to, i suggest you simply ask this boy he'd like to engage in some mutual activity with you. seeing a film is always an easy option. you both spend most of the time watching the film so there's less potential for awkward moments and it's a focal point for conversation too. the real reason people never ask is fear of rejection. provided you don't mind that you've little to loose. and if it doesn't work out, at least you've had the experience and will be better able to try again, until ultimately you find someone you think is right for you.

I'm not sure if there are posts not showing up, but I didn't see anything about the age 21 in anyone's posts....weird. Personally, I think 21 is very young to have kids. You're still a child yourself at 21 and still are in the developmental stage. As far as one not wanting to rush into certain things goes, I think it's refreshing to see someone else who isn't consumed by it and the pressures society imposes. It seems like all the world cares about today is...that. It's nice to see kids who just want to keep relationships as hanging out and having fun. Why do they have to be about more than that? Maybe I just don't understand the notion of relationships because it's not hardwired into me. The whole idea is too close for comfort as far as I'm concerned.

by **shock_the_monkey** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:06 am

briannavon wrote:There are many reasons why I feel I should stop myself from liking him :

- I'm too young to date (mom says I can date but I don't think so, plus she is not the best person to talk to about that since she got pregnant with me and my sister at only 21)
- He does act very outlandish (well, this is an urban area)
- If we date I might have to kiss him (too young, remember?)
- I feel bad when I think of him because I think of s-e-xual stuff "I don't want to spell the word" when I think of him and I'm way too young for that.

by **TDT** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:18 am

I agree that 21 is a bit young.

Ideally, one should probably wait until after college, after getting settled into a job, and after some time of either a relationship or marriage before having kids. Having a stable environment and job is important, and having a stable mate is just as important.

My father and my mother had me when my father was 28 (not sure how young my mother was). I think this happened a little too quick, because there were issues between my father and my mother and I grew up really not knowing my mother at all as a result. It's kinda something I think people should try to avoid...granted, problems can arise after a few years, but giving some time in marriage isn't a bad idea to make sure things are stable for the kid.

by **shock_the_monkey** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:31 am

13 is too young. but it happens. at 16 it's possible to marry with parental conscent. at 18 no parental conscent is necessary. so, 21 certainly isn't too young. young - yes. too young - no. one of the problems that has happened is that people are waiting too long before starting a family. this reduces the chances of being successful and increases the chances of the pregnancy having complications and/or the baby having birth defects.

by **sabrdawg** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:57 am

13 is definitely still a LITTLE kid. I think ppl are waiting longer to start families because some kids are realizing that they're not done finding themselves yet. They want to be established first, as some of you mentioned. Add to that the fact that the life expectancy is increasing, so if you have a longer time to enjoy being young, why grow up before you have to? I know for a fact that I would be nowhere near ready to handle kids at 29. I'm not even on my own yet. I'm still trying to learn how to take care of myself. Money management continues to be quite a daunting task, and I have a lot of difficulty with keeping track of things. Not that I want to ever have kids, tho. It's not something I desire in the least bit. I'll be very happy with lots of pets

Different I am, yes. Hey, after all I am a self-proclaimed Aspie!

by **briannavon** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:35 am

Everyone's advice is great! You guys have helped me decide that while I am still too young to date , I can still get close to him in other ways that might last longer than teen dating. I will try to ask if if he would like to go to the movies (and I will try to push the notion of it being just a friend thing but asking one of his friends to come)

Furthermore, I have decided that even if I did date him, I would not have to kiss him (although the thought of people thinking I did worse stuff would always make me feel sick :oops:

).

I have also decided that I will try not to be as crazy over him (maybe I'll look at him less).

by **Asto** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:01 am

What the ###$ is this? Victorian Age taking over?
Even if you are 13 years old there is nothing wrong in dating the guy you like. Even if it comes down to sex (if you feel ready for), there are simple precautions you can take. Must be some kind of american puritanism here if people really advise you to step back instead of getting into a potentially intense relationship. It's not about starting a ######6 family, it's about making your first experience in the love business.

Jeez, dafuq is wrong with you folks.

by **Fallen_Angel73** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:19 am

^ Lol, I'll admit I wanted to say that.

by **sabrdawg** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:29 am

briannavon, kudos to you for standing firm in what you believe in, and understanding that it's okay for kids to be kids! You shouldn't feel that you have to do anything against your values or your character. It's also okay to feel the way you do! You really sound like a level-headed person

I think your plan of going to the movies as friends is a great idea! *sigh* what happened to just plain, innocent fun like this? I think a lot of ppl would be a lot less stressed and would enjoy themselves more if they did things this way. Spending time with someone you care about and can be yourself around is so much more meaningful than, um....that word u and I don't like to say, anyway

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