Anxious about travelling

*originally posted in Acute Stress folder by accident*

Hi all
I'm new here, usually I like to contribute to a forum a bit before 'taking', sorry but I'm posting in a time of need!

I'm 25 and for the past two or three years have been easily worried by the idea of travelling abroad. I don't know what influenced it but I've been generally quite nervous about traveling and other 'big' things. Early last year I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get stuck in a rut and to show myself I could still do it, I flew Ireland with a friend for two nights. It felt fine, I was nervous in the weeks leading up to it, but at the airport I felt ok, and the rest of the trip was fine. Next I had a business trip to Spain. I travelled alone, I was nervous leading up to it but the trip was ok. Now, one year later, the same trip is in planning stages again and I may have to go this Friday. It would be for one, maybe two nights. I'm feeling really scared again, when I found out I spent half an hour just shaking violently. I've calmed down now. The thing is I WANT to go on the trip, I know what I'm doing, it wouldn't be without stress and tension but it would be ok. I don't know how to unlearn this kind of response I have to big things. My mind races and I often feel ill physically.

What should I do? My manager has found another person that could potentially go, I'd just need to train him up. This is an easy way out; do I take it? I might regret not grabbing the opportunity, but at the same time it might not be worth the stress.

Any help greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Hi,

Where in Ireland did you go to? I live in Ireland, in a town just outside Dublin. Anyway, the fear of travelling that you have will become less intense the more times you do it (travel). Try to generate some tenacity regarding the travel and that might help you. Also, you should be aware that it is probably the sense of the 'unknown' that is causing you to fear travelling. For many people, uncertainty / 'not knowing' is a problem. Therefore, before you go to a different country, research information about it, including where you will be staying (i.e. - accomodation), the people there, the customs, etc.

Cuidate,
Kevin

Hi Kevin
Thanks so much for your reply. It was Dublin I visited, it was a great place. I thought it was a shame I'd never been to Ireland even though it's so close, so it made sense to try for a 'small' trip and it was great.
I think you're right about tenacity! As I've thought about this trip over the last 24 hours I feel my anxiety has reduced, then I felt like I didn't want to make the effort, I have no motivation to do it, and now I'm back to feeling just a bit anxious for no reason, but still no motivation. The 'way out' is looking ever more tempting. It's strange. I know it'd be good fun.. I need to be enthusiastic about it. I keep thinking of all the little details like handing my boarding pass over, and I imagine I'll feel nervous at that moment, and I worry I'm going to panic. I need to get a grip!!

I'll research what I can, that's a good idea, thank you. Unfortunately I don't always know where I'll be staying until I get there, everything will be organised last minute by a colleague. I do know that I'll be taken care of.. I'll stay in good hotels and I'll be able to take taxis everywhere, money won't be a concern. I know they'll speak English, and parts of Spanish are familiar to me.. although I did have to look up 'cuidate'! Also I tend to take Kalms tablets with me, often I feel better just carrying them. And if I take any they might have a placebo affect even if they don't truly work for me. Damn damn damn. I hate decisions.

Oh heck. I just researched everything I could; I looked at all the flights, the area, I thought about every detail about it and I got really enthusiastic and I felt great! Then my manager told me the trip has moved to the middle of next week and he will need me here. End.

This is the nature of my business, big plans can change in an instant. I feel relaxed now, but a bit upset! However there might be another trip in about a month, as the job has been split into two halves this year. I might have to go then. And then, I will go through this emotional turbulence all over again

Hi,

That could be another reason why you have anxiety in your life: Your job changes a lot. Like I said already, some people do not like uncertainty in their life and prefer to have things 'certain' or 'planned'. What helps me is to just know as much as I can about where I am going though - It really helps a lot.

Which place in Spain do you live? I was only in Madrid before, and then I went to Buenos Aires from there.

Kevin

Hi Kevin

The current situation is: the trip might be back on. You're right, it's this uncertainty I can't deal with. I've been trying to work out why I developed these anxieties and I think it correlates with when I started this job two years ago. I have not felt sure or safe since. I really need to try and get a new job.

I live in the UK, I'd be travelling to Barcelona. The stupid thing is I did it last year and I enjoyed it. Why that isn't enough for me to immediately be enthusiastic about it, I don't know!

So you live and work in Buenos Aires now? How did you find the relocation? And the people?

Hi,

No, I live in Ireland but I went to Buenos Aires back in 2003 for three weeks. Actually, I went to Buenos Aires, and then to Puerto Iguazu, and then across the border to Brazil. In Brazil, I went to Sao Paulo, Ilha Grande, Parati, and Rio de Janeiro. I might be relocating to England next month to start a PhD there in York.

I meant to ask you previously: Have you ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome? The feeling of anxiety about uncertainty is a common trait/characteristic of Asperger's.

Kevin

Hi Kevin

That sounds like fun for you! Do you enjoy all the hopping about? I've long been interested in South America, maybe one day I will visit. Hmmm...

I just had a look into the wiki page on Asperger's. I've heard of it before but didn't know much about it. Quite interesting. My social interaction skills are not great these days, so much so that it stands out quite a bit I think. I tend to put it down to depression though; on rare occasions I'm enthused with almost nonsensical joy, the opposite of my typical depressive state, and at those times I can be the life and soul. I'll do some more research into it, thank you.

Hi,

Yes, I enjoy travelling around. When I was young, one of my dreams was to be a person who spent his time travelling around the world for his entire lifetime. My brothers have done much more travelling than me, but I think that I will eventually get around to more and more places. I will be emigrating soon to England, for example. After that, I think that I will have the courage to emigrate to a country that speaks a foreign language, probably spain or France (as I can speak these languages).

Good luck with everything mi amigo,
Kevin

Hey Gang....

I am a 45 year old woman from Leominster, Massachusetts, USA. I was 5 yrs old the first time I was almost sick over traveling. My grandparents were taking me and 4 other of my femaile cousins to the Auquarium in Boston, MA and I was so upset for days before the trip that I almost didn't go. (Now I know they call that "anticipatory anxiety" - which most times is worse than the actual event!) The only thing that MADE me go was my own will, even at that tender age, not to let fear stop me from doing anything. Meds and counseling help and I have been on and off meds for panic attacks my whole life.....I DO have a really great life, though. The fear can only have as much power as you give to it....I did a lot of reading about panic and I am happy to say that although I still experience a "twinge" whenever I choose to go away overnight....I go and have a great time! If you are looking for something worthwhile to read check this out:

http://panicandanxietyrelief.com/?e=ConquestDiva

Remember, YOU are ALWAYS THE ONE IN control! God Bless....Brenda