Relationship OCD

My boyfriend suffers from pure-o OCD. It is linked to our relationship and it has been a very tough time for both of us dealing with this. The whole situation has left me feeling scared and uncertain about our future. I love him very much and I will stick by him but I am finding it hard to deal with at the moment and I have no one to relate to about this situation. I only get confused by my friend's advice because they do not fully understand the situation which leaves me frightened and confused. Is there any one who can relate to me with this who I could talk to?

Thanks

Hi,

I have been in a similar situation as yourself before - on both sides of it, actually. Essentially, when your boyfriend is having one of his obsessions, there will be little you can do directly to help him. If he has an 'attack' in your presence, I suggest simply waiting until it passes. I wouldn't become angry with him, or even attempt to talk him our of it. Just stay there, say nothing, and wait.

From my experience - on both sides - that's the best thing to do.

What does he obsess about, by the way?

Kevin.

Well, his OCD is about being in a relationship, the best way i can describe it is he is frightened of committment and worries a lot if i am '' THE ONE'' for him.
The thing is i am so confused myself now, we have had a 3 month break and i really thought that was it for us and although i was really upset id lost him, i was grateful not to be living in fear of us breaking up again.
Now we are back together this fear has come back a lot!!
Its so difficult because although i don't want to say thats it forever for us, and i know you don't know what the future holds, knowing what this OCD is about makes me need reassurance. Which i hate because when we are ok and there are no insecurities etc, we are so close and in love.
Im very confused ......

This has the potential to become very 'messy' and hurtful for both of ye because a mental problem coupled with a relationship that isn't working is a bad combination. Is he the one calling all the shots at the moment? What I mean is, is he the one that arranged the three month break, and the subsequent get-back-together? If he is arranging all of these things, then he is the one in control of the relationship and this should stop.

If you want the relationship to work, then I believe he will have to see a doctor and, subsequently, a therapist about this OCD. From what I gather, things just aren't working out at present and there is little sign that they will get better.


Take care,
kevin.

The thing is things were messy in our previous relationship ( before our 3 month break) from both sides. We both had insecurities and put way too much pressure on each other, add this to his OCD and it becomes even more messy and we eventually break up.
He did iniciate the first few break ups which didnt last long at all, but this final one was helped along by myself because i felt it coming, and i couldn't see him suffer with the OCD anymore.
Since our Break we have realised we love each other very much despite things that have happened ruining ''us'' which is why we have decided to give it another go. Which brings me to this forum, i have a fear and big worry of things happening again as they are totally out of my control...
Do you really think from what i've said that this relationship doesn't look promising?
I know that my own insecurities before were not making me happy and had a ''knock on'' effect toward him, knowing these things now i feel we can try again on a more positive note.

sryan26 wrote:Do you really think from what i've said that this relationship doesn't look promising?

From previous experience, I don't think it can work but I obviously am not you or he; and I don't know ye at all. Perhaps though, it may be better to break-up, remain in touch with each other, and then maybe reform a bond in the future if it so happens that way.

Do you think you really love him; or do you just like the idea of being in love and are scared to lose it?

Kevin.