I just don't know anymore

My name is Steve, and I'm 15 years old. I am afraid of confrontation with almost anyone except my closest friends. I have terrible self-esteem. I'm 5'6 and weigh 159 lbs, which everyone tells me isn't that bad, but I always feel fat, and ugly to those around me. I feel like I'm lesser than other people, that are more popular than me. I often drift into fantasies and wish I were those people.
My best friend is also my cousin, who is considered a pretty cool guy. He always gets the girl and any girl friend I've ever had, I have the feeling they like him more than me. I idolize him to some degree and wish I were more like him physically. He's slender but muscular. Anytime I'm around him I feel jealous, upset, or sad whenever I'm around him, though it's not his fault. He's extremely supportive of me, and gives me compliments and is a great person in general.
I don't know if this is anxiety or what, but I need to know what's the matter with me. I just feel so insignificant and worthless. I don't know.

In my opinion, it's just your self esteem that is causing this problem. You are jealous of him because you wish you were as "good" as him. But in actuality, I bet you really are. Physical appearances really aren't anything once you get out of highschool and try to meet /real/, not shallow people. If someone won't go out with you because you don't look "hot" or only go out with him because he's "hot" then they are shallow. Beauty is only skin-deep my friend.

You are only 5 pounds overweight, which is not bad AT ALL! I am about 30 pounds UNDERWEIGHT! So you're fine, really you are. But it's natural to be jealous and if you have a low self esteem, it's natural to feel worthless and insignificant - I know I feel like that ALL the time. Try to find ways to boost your confidence.

I hope this helped!

How do I do that? I just transfered schools too, and I don't know anyone at all. I feel somewhat trapped. How can I boost my self-confidence and motivate myself to make friends? I'm at a loss.

Sir Fusting,

You can do that by positive self talk. Affirmations if you will.
You can also make a list of 3 reasons you admire your cousin, and when you look at yourself these will be 3 things you admire about YOU.

OR you can make a list of ten reasons why you like yourself. (I have done this, it works) read the list 3 times a day for a week.
the next week just twice a day, 3rd week once a day. 4th week and out you have to read them once a month. You can add to them I did, as things would come up.

When you start, you dont have to believe the positive statement about your self. Just read it. it works.

Being at a new school can be a blessing just as much as a bane.
Chose your friends wisely, popular kids look cool but there are alot of good-looking creeps out there. I know.

Remember to breath, often when stressed we hold out breath.
If you need help let me know. I would like to ask you something now though. What is your favorite animal and why? Then what is you second favorite animal and why?

It is not a trick question there are no right or wrong answers.

Take care, and I really hope things are going well for you.
hugs-
red

thanks =) that really helps a lot. I've found out recently that an awesome girl likes me, so that's a massive confidence boost. My favorite animal would have to be a dog, for it's loyalty, strength, and intelligence. My second favorite would probably be a whale, because of their sheer size,their gracefulness, and the amount of time they've been around.

Cats all the way man. It's interesting to think of how our animal preferences may reflect our personalities quite well.

Sir Fusting wrote:thanks =) that really helps a lot. I've found out recently that an awesome girl likes me, so that's a massive confidence boost. My favorite animal would have to be a dog, for it's loyalty, strength, and intelligence. My second favorite would probably be a whale, because of their sheer size,their gracefulness, and the amount of time they've been around.

Sir Fusting,

you are welcome.
I think it is great that you have found an sweet girl.

About the animals:
The first animal are sure tributes that you admire IN youself.

You said 1st: dog. perfect in the strengths in the animal this and you consider yourself loyal, strength and intelligence.

You said 2nd: whale. Graceful, longevity, and size (presence) how much you and your mate and relate in each others lives.

If you care to know,

Here is my two:
1. Large wild cat, why, I always said because they are well equiped for life. What I meant they had the tools of survival. I had those tools.

2. Bear, why? Bears have power,strength and I think they are beautiful.
My husband has all the attributes.

Broshious wrote:Cats all the way man. It's interesting to think of how our animal preferences may reflect our personalities quite well.

I love all animals (not insects ie...spiders eek!!!)
but I prefer cats.

peace.
red