Noise pollution driving me insane! Zero peace & quiet!

I'm 22 years old, male. I feel like I need to provide some context & background info, cause I have no idea where to start. A decline began when I was around 17 where I had social anxiety, dropped out of high school to take online courses (never ended up finishing). Then depression came a factor. I thought it was already a factor at age 17 but it only got worse around 19 and until now (22 y/o - almost 23).

My parents honestly seemed to stop doing their job as parents when I was around 13. They got divorced a year prior when I was 12. I lived 1 week on/off with both of them for 6-7 years. It was hectic going back & forth & packing every 7 days. Around age 20 I began living full time with my dad since my mom needed to downsize anyway + it was easier to stay in 1 place.

Living with my dad for those next 2+ years was even worse for my social anxiety, anxiety in general, and depression. He is one of the messiest, sloppiest people I've ever met. Hallways, bathrooms, kitchen... Messes everywhere. It would make me want to stay confined to my room. I could never get into a proper routine without being highly irritated by his messes and his presence.

I eventually realized that was a problem, and I needed to change this. I had some money I had made online (never had a 'regular' part time job. I got by with some online income) and figured I simply needed my own place where I was comfortable, so I could get into my own routine and not be stressed & severely anxious by filth and messes inhibiting my ability to feel comfortable.

So I began looking for a place to rent. My uncle is a realtor, but after showing us a place (it was perfect but unfortunately like most it was too expensive) he suggested a couple contractors who'd turn the unfinished basement at my dad's house (approx 700 sq ft, high ceilings in half of it) into a fully renovated apartment for an affordable price. My own bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, living/TV room, laundry, etc.. So my dad agreed to do that, especially since my uncle told him it would add value to the house and he could rent it out to others in the future.

Long story short, it was completed and I finally settled in around mid November 2016. One thing I emphasized from the beginning was that it absolutely had to be soundproofed well. Especially if it would be rented out to strangers after me. I repeatedly said that and did a ton of my own research on soundproofing for suggestions. Unfortunately my dad opted to ignore that and cut corners to save a few extra hundred bucks (which is very little in the grand scheme of things) and the end result, despite the place looking extremely nice — isn’t a practical apartment/home.

The amount of banging & thumping noise from my dad’s footsteps, opening & closing cupboards, etc… has caused my anxiety and stress levels to increase TENFOLD x 100. It’s every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s driving me up the wall and I just might go insane because of it. I’m genuinely shocked I haven’t had some type of nervous breakdown or anxiety attack yet. Part of me might be more sensitive to noise, while another part of it is me angrily thinking back to how this could’ve been prevented if my emphasis on soundproofing was listened to. I can even hear him sneeze despite having a fan blasting right beside me to drown out noise (one of many things I’ve tried). The only way to properly soundproof the place to combat impact noise would be tearing down all drywall, both walls & ceiling, and re-install it with special clips & more which would cost upwards of $10k when you factor in labor and materials. Not feasible at all.

Unwanted noise, or “noise pollution”, often feels like an invasion of privacy to many people and it personally puts me in a constant state of stress, anger, paranoia & anxiety because I never know when it’s going to start, when it will stop, etc.. This has led to a tendency of staying up late throughout the night until 5AM-7AM because that’s the only time I get peace & quiet! Obviously that’s not practical though, and I can’t get into a routine doing that. This has added a whole new dimension to my anxiety, my psyche and general inability to live comfortably. I’m constantly woken up while sleeping too - even when I go to bed at normal hours. And by “normal hours”, I mean: waiting and listening until the noise stops, which basically signals to me that my dad has likely gone to bed, which means finally I myself can finally get ready to go to bed. That’s just ridiculous.


I feel like I’m constantly at my dad’s mercy and dependent on him. I could’ve had my own place a full year ago by now, got into a normal routine, sleep schedule, eat healthier, exercise, etc.. and within a month or 2 I’d be starting up schooling again, or getting my own job to sustain myself, finish up school, etc…..Instead, I can’t even sleep properly or sit & focus on anything in this basement apartment. The banging & thumping could come up at any time, any second and completely ruin my mood, no matter how hard I try at times to stay calm through it. I would say I’m actually surprised I haven’t fully broken down, yelled at the top of my lungs, etc… I’d say I do a decent job of keeping it bottled up - but that’s likely not very healthy at all.

I feel like my last option is one that I don’t necessarily want to use, but I feel like I’m at a dead end and have to. It’s some inheritance money my uncle left me when he passed away. It was around $30k or so at the time, but now it’s worth around $58k I’m told. The reason I don’t really want to use it is because I’m only supposed to get it when I’m 30 years old, at his request, which I believe was because he didn’t want it used for schooling or wasted frivolously on materialistic things as an early 20 year old. Although my grandmother (in charge of it) has mentioned recently that due to the stress of managing it, investing, doing the taxes for it, etc. has been stressful for her and floated the idea of giving it to me early with the obvious condition it would be put to good use. At this point, my thinking is: Do I just use it? Of course all of it wouldn’t be used. Maybe around half. Just some for a down-payment on an apartment and the initial monthly payments until I got myself on track and a job which would then be used to support myself. Whether it be a “regular” job or one of many startup ideas online I’ve had, but haven’t been able to execute yet.

Sorry, I realize this is getting long and I’ll try to stop since my thoughts are becoming a bit more scrambled. I’m just looking for any sort of commentary on my situation, suggestions, comments, further questions etc.. Whatever it is.

Thank you for reading & listening.

Anyone?

I would suggest taking that $ .. investing atleast half of it go to your bank talk to financial advisor put it in some long term things that will gain you small % every year .. take the other half and go rent an apartment for your self .. and whatever else you need now that your going to be independent and start searching for a job even if its just part time right away to ease into the real world but it sounds like you have to get away from your parents or atleast not live with them .. I think this will do wonders for your mind and confidence over time I was in sort of the same situation where I choose to live with my mother for a year and a half and I went straight down hill from some of the same things you mention.. just my opinion .. good luck