PLease help i'm 16 and confused:-/

Ive had some pretty traumatic things happen in my life, dad died when i was a baby mom has head injury, lived with grandma and then found her unconsious and now live with my uncle. At times i feel so so sad. But other times i feel so happy. Before i go to bed or when im jsut alone everything that has ever happened to me rushes through my head and it can be so overwhelming. Why does this happen? Is this anxiety? I wish i could just explain it better. For the majority im happy.. its jsut those certain moments i feel so unhappy. I sometimes cut when it gets too.. i dont know i wish i could desrbe it better. My mom is in a nursing home right now for confusion so thats been adding to it. I feel happy but deep down i feel so.. bothered and unhappy. My life right now for the most part is great.. i have friends and family that love me its just.. one thing after another i guess. I'm thinking of getting counseling but i dont have the money. I'd just like to start off knowing what this is:-/

I would say it helps to vent, and that you recognize when you are down. Go get counseling but ask you uncle, school may not be the best place. Have you told your best friend? Also i would consider talking to your uncle/aunt and telling them how you feel. I will say alot of this is normal for what you have gone through but please dont cut. If your uncle is a good guy and understanding and you just cant get it out then maybe consider sending him an email, sometimes its easier to got it out in writing.