Hi all,
I'm new here and I'd like to ask whether anyone has been through this before.
Mid april of this year after a night of binge drinking and one or two puff of weed. I went into town and realised I kept thinking I heard my name being said in passing conversations and the world just seemed louder in general. So every other person that passed me mid convo, I kept thinking they said my name but quickly realised they didn't.
This was mostly under the disguise of like whisper or 'S' sounds....
I brused it off, had the biggest panic attack I've ever had since I was 18 (23, diagnosed with panic disorder but it is non existent now) and the next day it became more prominent...(I look out for it fearing something is really wrong)
It has now become louder in the sense and basically part of my everyday life.
When I say louder, before it would be quieter sounds i misinterepted.. Now its louder sounds like someone shouting from a far ..
Other things that have changed :
- my concentration and functioning seem to be declining.. - I muddle words up a lot and misread them
- I feel like I see things at the corner of my eye - movement, mistake lampposts for a person)
- Things sound different - like a car passing will sound like a cry or scream or something of that sort
- I thought I was hearing my name in white noise too but since doing CBT that stopped.
- It's getting to a point now where my once out going self dreads being out because in crowded places, I hear my name everywhere.
- In loud settings with no talking.. It's like I can hear an undertone that sounds like my name (this happens in white noise too which has since stopped)
- Seeing faces in things.
- Obsessive thoughts about past hurts (things i never normally think about -perhaps feelings sorry for myself)
The doctors take:
In total - I have seen five doctors.
4 of which assure me this is anxiety
One says its OCD
Two says its plain old anxiety
One said its depersonalisation/derealisation
One of the doctors with whom I spoke with regarded it as a perceptual disturbance which he then told the doctor who said it was ocd that he agreed with her after hearing my symptoms.
I am now receiving CBT and my therapist is adament that it is all in my head. But I cannot distract myself from it. I've been in a happy state and still hear my name everywhere.
Other than this i feel okay. In fact, I was really happy with my life before all of this. It's been nightmare and I just want it to go away now.
The only thing I can remember is being highly sensitive a day before it happened and I was due on a month and a half late period which was seemingly for no reason (i am on no birth control nor am i sexually active)
I highly highly doubt it is 'just anxiety' I'd even accept that it is alcohol abuse over anxiety as I am quite a party girl.
Thanks in advance