The Most Annoying Thing in the World: Mirroring

True. That's how they look like. Not me. The excessive "lolololol" was an example.

It only annoys me when it is bad mirroring or someone I don't like, or too much.
I think it is necessary in relationships. That is how you get complicity. You still have to stay yourself to some degree, but some mirroring is good.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:k, anyone with good social skills knows that copying the mannerisms of whoever you're speaking with facilitates smooth social interaction and rapport building..........

BUT IT IS SO ANNOYING

I hate when people mirror me. I'm just like BE YOURSELF (in my head) STOP COPYING ME. THAT IS SO INAUTHENTIC

anyone else find mirroring EXTREMELY annoying?

do you even notice that you do it?

(IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MIRRORING IS HERE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring_%28psychology%29)

I personally find it adorable and take it as a compliment.

I've never had someone "mirror" me. Where I am from it would be considered a form of mockery. It would be disrespect because they are mocking you. So if anyone did that I'd be
forced to fuk them up for being highly disrespectful. Now where I am from there is a different
kind of "mirroring" or "copying" or "biting" someone's style. Those people are usually looked
upon as "dick riders." Groupie's kinda like. Yeah, thats pathetic but no I don't believe anyone
has tried to be like me. I'm not the classically cool guy. In fact, I have not seen one of them
in a while. They would have a lot of haters and probably would get shot. I'm am more of an
O.G. We are going exitinct, out of style. Lol Anyways interesting subject.

If it's done well it can be effective winning someone over to your ideas.

Basically, you start by mirroring their small movements; if they put their hands behind their head, so do you. It has to be subtle, but over some time (maybe during a meeting) you can mirror enough for them to become more "open" to you.
Once this is established, the skill is then to lead. Make a small change, for example you can lean on an elbow. If they follow then you have them in the subordinate position and, assuming you can have them follow you fairly consistently, they will be more open to accepting your ideas and agreeing with you.

However, like I said earlier, this needs to be done extremely well or it's very clumsy and makes you look like a complete tool.

justonemoreperson wrote:However, like I said earlier, this needs to be done extremely well or it's very clumsy and makes you look like a complete tool.

Unless you purposefully want them to underestimate you.

So you've tried this? Was it effective? Did you get the desired result?

I thought we were talking about ideas and conversation.
Body movement is another thing. I never do it and find it lame when someone does.

Demon,
just because aggression is not obviously noticable in my character
it doesn't mean I am not aggressive enough.

some ppl who were close to me strongly believed 'you have no aggressivity in your personality!' but after a few years they were almost locked up in mental hospital
because of damage caused by my passive aggressivity(also direct aggressivity).
especially one was reallly damaged by me, ...she sometimes yelled, 'you are a devil yyy!!! you havent done anything bad.. but you are a devil(not metaphor, but literally she believed i am devil in human body)!' with almost panic attack and her eyes turned white, her body shaking, (SOUNDS DRAMATIC BUT IT WAS'NT ME) and ppl seriously thought they need to call exociator... or she is mad...(though ppl who knew me well blamed me) later it was clarified that her mental damage was really caused by me)

and that gave me a significant shock+truama(hpds don't think we are aggressive people-we don't want to be- not many people think so, cuz hpds APPEAR non-aggressive so actually that makes hpd really dangerous compared to all other PDs whose aggression is noticable according to book 'emotional vampires', and i agreed.) so i decided to not have social relationship with normies.

but i understand...
my personality has got normie a lot recently, i feel much less aggression-almost 0
so you'd tell me i am not aggressive person

different story but,
Once i had to take a pic for something important but i really couldn't smile at all it was a big problem,
and my boyfriend adviced me to imagine killing photographer in most creative way possible, said then he can smile well enough
and it really worked GREAT

Mr. No One wrote:I've never had someone "mirror" me. Where I am from it would be considered a form of mockery. It would be disrespect because they are mocking you. So if anyone did that I'd be
forced to fuk them up for being highly disrespectful. Now where I am from there is a different
kind of "mirroring" or "copying" or "biting" someone's style. Those people are usually looked
upon as "dick riders." Groupie's kinda like. Yeah, thats pathetic but no I don't believe anyone
has tried to be like me. I'm not the classically cool guy. In fact, I have not seen one of them
in a while. They would have a lot of haters and probably would get shot. I'm am more of an
O.G. We are going exitinct, out of style. Lol Anyways interesting subject.

^^^I agree 110%