by Xena » Sun Dec 02, 2012 2:56 pm
Most of the popular people I know are only popular bc they wear the *right* things, look a certain way, constantly brag about how much money they have, and how well connected they are.
I can fake that stuff when there's something in it for me, like a job. It gets really old really fast, tho. The person I have to pretend to be, in order to be liked for the sake of maneouvering through a social environment is not a person I like. I wouldn't even talk to her if she were trying to convince me to do something for her.
And yet this is the person everyone vouches for IRL. It's strange how I can show more of my real self online, and people are ok with that. IRL I have to be totally fake if I'm in a position where approval matters. I think the incongruence has something to do with the way I look, or maybe the fact that I can't put up with mancandy hanging off me for very long. I've experimented with lying about having a boyfriend. It works in the short term, but if I'm in a situation where people need to see him, I don't bother. Likewise with lying about my employment status.
It's funny, I was totally floored the first time I lied about being employed, in my early 20s. I'd been reluctant to lie before that bc I thought people would want to talk shop. So I picked the most idiot-proof bitch job I could think of, a job that I always said was beneath me. I also expected some social one-upping for admitting to having such a lame job--receptionist. The guy I was talking to seemed quite charmed by my *confession*.
I find such low expectations extremely offputting. I also find it extremely offputting that I can say and do the exact same things, express the same likes&dislikes, level of education, everything--but people treat me like a menace to society if I tell the truth about my employment and marital status. When I lie about those 2 little things, I'm an object of admiration.
People are so fuked up.
"Don't argue with crazy people. You'll look like you're the one who's crazy." -Mom