Death Fantasies - Do You Have Them?

Poisonchocolate wrote:Sometimes I do think about the absurdity of if I committed suicide in some ridiculous way, and just left a hilariously stupid suicide note. I never really feel the urge to do it, I want to live. But it is fun to think about interesting ways to do it and to just baffle whoever found my body/note.

How do you imagine you would do it?

I have this reoccurring fantasy that I just reach out and rip someone’s throat out with my bare hands and watch their expression of shock then horror as they die. It’s a really weird one because I don’t think that’s even possible.

Eurus wrote:

Poisonchocolate wrote:Sometimes I do think about the absurdity of if I committed suicide in some ridiculous way, and just left a hilariously stupid suicide note. I never really feel the urge to do it, I want to live. But it is fun to think about interesting ways to do it and to just baffle whoever found my body/note.

How do you imagine you would do it?

I've had a few ideas I like. On interesting ways to die, I've thought about a suicide with two handguns (I think it's doable to do up to four in different fingers, actually), either to the temples pointed straight at each other or to literally do the "2 bullets in the back of the head" suicide. Also appealing to me is jumping in a volcano, or going by homemade explosives.

As far as a suicide note, it could be almost anything absurd. Some hilariously stupid internet meme like the Navy seal copypasta would be perfect, or a big fancy envelope addressed to my loving family with only the word "bye" written inside. Not sure why that's so funny to me.

- In what way do you imagine dying in your fantasies?
I had a fantasy about being hanged when I was in my late teens . Though that was manly a combination of alcohol and listening to ‘hallowed be thy name’ repeatedly. It wasn’t a hanging domestic crimes, but rather for crimes against humanity or similar. I don’t know why it’s still so vivid. They’d take me to the scaffold in the middle of a packed town square, dressed in a spiffy black uniform. A hush would fall over the crowd. When asked if I had any last words, i’d sneer and say contemptuously “one life for so many, is that not too little”, (which iirc was what one of his victims said about the execution of rudolf hoess) then chuckle sardonically to myself.

This fantasy clearly has some narcissistic elements.

- Is it a sexual turn on to fantasize about dying or is there some other reason behind it?
Probably an underlying belief that they’re going to have to do something about me sooner or later.

- Have you ever considered fulfilling your fantasy in real life?
Not really.

- Have you ever put yourself in a dangerous position that could have killed you in the same way you fantasize about dying? If yes, explain.
Nope

Some of these death fantasies are funny.

Reminds me once I watched a movie called taxidermia. I have no idea what it was about as I watched as I was on a bender when we watched it. I just remember this scene where this dude creates an elaborate contraption to taxidermy himself. He meticulously stitches himself up and when he triggers it, this spring loaded blade lobs his head off. I thought it was a funny way to go. Don't know what artistic message was there though as the movie went over my head intellectually.

Squaredonutwheels wrote:Some of these death fantasies are funny.

Reminds me once I watched a movie called taxidermia. I have no idea what it was about as I watched as I was on a bender when we watched it. I just remember this scene where this dude creates an elaborate contraption to taxidermy himself. He meticulously stitches himself up and when he triggers it, this spring loaded blade lobs his head off. I thought it was a funny way to go. Don't know what artistic message was there though as the movie went ovTer my head intellectually.

I just watched this. Amazing.

Do you have any personal experience with taxidermy?

Eurus wrote:

Squaredonutwheels wrote:Some of these death fantasies are funny.

Reminds me once I watched a movie called taxidermia. I have no idea what it was about as I watched as I was on a bender when we watched it. I just remember this scene where this dude creates an elaborate contraption to taxidermy himself. He meticulously stitches himself up and when he triggers it, this spring loaded blade lobs his head off. I thought it was a funny way to go. Don't know what artistic message was there though as the movie went ovTer my head intellectually.

I just watched this. Amazing.

Do you have any personal experience with taxidermy?

No. A buddy of mine hunts quite a bit and he does mount trophies like that but I don't have any interest in taxidermy specifically. It sounds dumb, but I think a big bear coat is pretty cool more than a stuffed bear. I'd like the opportunity to take a bear one day, but I'm only dreaming.

I did collect things as a child that I found interesting but I never did taxidermy on them. After some adults took notice and I got in trouble so I stopped collecting things. It wasn't anything specific. Rocks, shells, insects and the odd skeleton, bird or rodent. I'd look at them every now and then. Once my mum found a hedgehog under my bed and I didn't like that negative attention so I just stopped. I had a pig jaw that I made a helmet out of. Most little kids do that though. Dress up and pretend to be viking or whatever. If it's a plastic toy it's okay. Use real materials and make a cross bow that all the other kids want to have a turn on and adults don't let their kids around you. I don't really see how having a stuffed build a bear teddy bear is too different to a stuffed dog that looks more realistic. If my kid wants a stuffed dog, I'd get him one.

What did you take away from that film? I never did figure out what it was about. It went over my head. Maybe PM as I don't want to derail this thread.

There's only been a couple of times I've actually imagined dying in my dreams, or having 'death fantasies', but I'll try to answer as best as I can.

1. Usually it's more so 'flirting with death', as I like to call it. There's tons of ways but the most common I can think of right now is this: I act like I'm about to jump off a bridge, or I actually do, but something happens last second that saves me from that impending doom.

2. Most of the time it is a turn on, since I liken killing myself as a flirtatious jab at death, that's probably where I find it sexually appeasing. The earliest time I could think back to when I started this, or what a possible cause was, is that when I was younger and in a deep state of depression (and in the mist of being abused), I heard a quote from some guy that narrowly avoiding death in a dream is akin to 'flirting with death'. I don't know.

3. Yeah, I've considered it, I actually joke about how if I am going to die, it's most likely going to be by my own hand than another's.

4. Yep, tons of times. Another possible starting point for all of this is when I actually almost fell off a cliff while scaling it when I was younger without any equipment (we were living in a rural area that didn't have that kind of stuff), it was probably the adrenaline rush of almost dying that got me. Other than that, small non lethal nicks with a knife, dangling over an edge, I once stopped in the middle of traffic and almost got run over if it weren't for a stranger passing by (still not sure if I'm grateful or enraged though), sometimes purposefully trying to drown myself, that's actually a major way so if I can I actually try to avoid the water 'cause I can't help myself

But yeah, mostly, it's murder fantasies more so than actual dying fantasies but yeah, it's hot all the same (at least to me).

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