Death Fantasies - Do You Have Them?

MacBuddhaBurger wrote:

skillsforilz wrote:I plan on living forever. Death is for pussies.

Haaaaaa........you sound about 15.

Please film the moment that you realise your own mortality. I'm sure we could all do with a good laugh puny Earth thing.

It's a joke ....

Just discovered this forum via this thread. Thanks for having a place I can share.

I *constantly* think about being killed.

I used to think about being in these movie-type situations where "somebody has to go in there and do that to save the rest of us.. they'd die a hero" or perhaps being the guy who takes on the bank robbers, not enough to be a John McLean from Die Hard or anything, but enough to create a momentary distraction, whilst almost assuredly being killed in the process (being the "catalyst" for a turning of the tables)

However, in recent years, this has changed dramatically to a far more "bystander" nature of being killed. I like to imagine very high-powered bullets travelling a very far distance (sniper rifles, perhaps? or maybe just a regular shot that lost it's way from very far away...) I remember a CSI episode long ago where somebody was shot on their front lawn. Turns out they were horsing around and landed on their back naturally, whereupon a shot fired in the air from several blocks away happened to descend vertically onto their chest (killing them). I like the idea of being the final destination for a bullet, and always in the head. I picture it travelling into my skin in SUPER slow motion, quickly scalloping the skin outward and then penetrating the bone, etc. This "penetration" drawn out in slow motion doesn't take Sigmund Freud to realize why I get gratification from this (even though it isn't directly sexual or anything for me).

I also fantasize about being stabbed. It's a SUPER sharp weapon that slides in effortlessly ("like a hot knife through butter") and pierces my heart, killing me pretty much instantly. I never picture it as a sharp quick stab, but again, as a slow sliding in as I lay somehow paralyzed (in fear? chemically? physically? submissively?). Again, the undercurrents of subconscious sexual masochism aren't hard to spot here. The idea that the killer is enjoying every millimeter of penetration is key for me.

The final fantasy I have, perhaps the most common, is instant beheading. Something sharp and for some reason usually white-hot (light sabers?? Haha) cleanly (and it must be cleanly) decapitate me. I think about this one a lot. Shrapnel from something that explodes, something from a car accident, whatever, but the idea of my head being sslliicceedd off (I even like saying that... sliiicced) just thrills me.

I think about framing my wife for my murder a lot, and I don't know why. I think it's because she doesn't take accountability for much (it's how she was raised, her parents are much the same) and feels entitled to everything in life. She puts others (esp me) in situations where they are helpless to be heard and nobody believes them (making them sound crazy) so I fantasize about doing the same to her in something involving legal incarceration (her father is retired law enforcement and harshly judges the character of anybody involved in any kind of illegal activity, perhaps rightfully so, I don't know).

But then, I think about my kids, them being fatherless and perhaps even orphaned and it all disappears in an instant. I live in fear of what will happen when they grow to become adults.

If we were to get into what sexually excites me in a direct way, believe me, it would be much, much MUCH darker than this, and that's where I fear for my sanity, but that's for another thread and another day.

Demon wrote:Death Fantasies - Do You Have Them?

I have never had a death fantasy. The idea of dying doesn't appeal to me.

I have a casual relationship with suicide.

I firmly believe that I will die by my own hand at some point and have thought about it enough to know exactly the right method to do it. If I didn't have the option of taking myself out, I think I'd be crazier than I already am.

No. I'm kind of in a no-man's-land in terms of life where I don't see it as anything important but also a waste to finish. It just 'is'. Suicide seems so pointless, though. What's the point? Nothing exists afterwards. The narcissist in me wants to leave a mark on the world before I go.

I have had fantasies about hurting others, but not myself. When I was younger though, I was paranoid about being killed though. Always thought someone would try to kill me if I walked to the edge of a cliff and things like that.

- In what way do you imagine dying in your fantasies?

As many ways as possible. But I like DYING WITH OTHER PEOPLE more than anything. Most of all I would very love to die with an entire classroom of students (boys and girls) --- We took an ambush exam and it turned out that our grades were too low to be allowed to live because NEW WORLD ORDER just passed a bill, although mine is very high but we've studied together for many years, how can I leave you behind since we all are very good friends and we mean to live and die together ? And we wore the same uniform(same type of shoes and socks, preferably white socks with individual student number on it) on the day of execution with thousands of other students looking. Our bodies( our feet, visibly) were hang/displayed/dismembered to warn other students or simply been served in school cafeteria.

- Is it a sexual turn on to fantasize about dying or is there some other reason behind it?

No I don't believe this is a sexual fetish. I do get sexually aroused by this, but much more than sex is the thought of dying with my friends and through its process, the warmth of friendship/peer pressure being expressed here.

I think the reason is that I don't have many peers, or at least few were considered as my peers by my standard. I know people of different color/personalities/class but I don't think they want to know me as much as I want to know them. I am generally interested in people, sadly I have just the same level of hate for "fake people" in my life.

This particular fantasy started when I was 12 because I wrote a story about it in my diary, loneliness indeed.

- Have you ever considered fulfilling your fantasy in real life?

Yes.

- Have you ever put yourself in a dangerous position that could have killed you in the same way you fantasize about dying? If yes, explain.

No, the scenario is simply impossible.

I'm 18. I have fantasized killing myself since 9 as the ultimate ###$ you to my mom a selfish whore. I've even made fake suicide notes in the past knowing she would find them and feel like the failure she is.

Totalwitch wrote:I'm 18. I have fantasized killing myself since 9 as the ultimate ###$ you to my mom a selfish whore. I've even made fake suicide notes in the past knowing she would find them and feel like the failure she is.

No, you wanted her to find them because you want her love and attention. It's a cry for help. You're hoping she'll see them and reach out to you in a positive way. It's actually kinda sad that this is the only way you believe will get her attention.

Sometimes I do think about the absurdity of if I committed suicide in some ridiculous way, and just left a hilariously stupid suicide note. I never really feel the urge to do it, I want to live. But it is fun to think about interesting ways to do it and to just baffle whoever found my body/note.