AsPDs and Psychopaths raising Children

^^ OK, I misread. You are probably right.
I thought you were describing a problem she had.

@Iniquity
I was not talking generally.
I remember a friend that tended to bring those things upon himself. I had to defend him a few times because of that. I suppose he would not have agreed he was sending those vibes, but he was. I realize it now, in retrospect. Hard to tell exactly why though. Not only did he not defend himself, but did not want me to do it. Go figure.
But yes, it is not always the case. You can be at the wrong place at the wrong moment.

Tungsten wrote:I realize it now, in retrospect. Hard to tell exactly why though. Not only did he not defend himself, but did not want me to do it. Go figure.

Some people are afraid of conflict and fear that if you help them it will either A) cause the attacker to hurt them more in retaliation, or B) they don't want you to get involved and thus, get hurt in the process. And then, of course, there's ones pride to consider:
My younger brother used to get bullied by this kid at school. It wasn't just verbal bullying. It was physical fights. One day I caught them fighting, so I walked up to them and attacked the bully in my brother's defence. Eventually the fight broke up and the bully left. Instead of my brother thanking me for helping him, he got angry at me and sometime later I figured out why. His pride had been hurt. He wanted to fight his own battles and show the bully that he wasn't a pushover. My helping him just made him look weaker. Maybe that's why your friend didn't want you defending him. He didn't want to appear as though he needed to be protected.

In his case, I think the answer is A, maybe B. He did not seem very proudful. Definitively fear.
One of the time was in a foreign country with an unknown, so there was no image to save, and no possibility of retaliation in the long run. The situation was here and now, but I think he was paralyzed.

I wonder if it was not a misplaced irrational need to please. He was attracting sadistic girls as well. They would more or less rape him, but not totally without consent.

Tungsten wrote:I don't know what can be done at that age, but it is probably a good time to learn conflict management techniques.

Tempest80 wrote:He has probably been the victim of teasing due to his appearance alone and may be taking a preemptive strike to make himself look tough, since he's at a new school.

I've read about these kinds of things in parenting magazines, and I find it both funny and sad to see claims once made, in childhood by people my age (e.g., that despondence won't make a bully leave out of boredom but will make a victim look weak and submissive, thus inciting further bullying) now made by child psychologists. It makes me wonder whether this field has really expanded at all, or whether child psychologists of my generation are merely repeating what they have said since childhood.

But perhaps what saddens me more is that, as far as I can remember, at no time in my childhood did I think to simply ask the bullies why they did what they did. Did any of you ever ask? Did your children?

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:But perhaps what saddens me more is that, as far as I can remember, at no time in my childhood did I think to simply ask the bullies why they did what they did. Did any of you ever ask? Did your children?

I was never the target of a bully, as far as I can recall anyway. I wasn't really a bully either, I think I bullied someone maybe once, I just wanted to see how they would react. I teased other kids often, but that's not the same thing.

I doubt my youngest would ever ask this kid if he tried to bully her again, or any potential future bullies. I'm going to need to teach her how to safely react to that type of situation, should it happen again.

Tempest80 wrote:I teased other kids often, but that's not the same thing.

Why do you say that? I personally don't see the difference between teasing and bullying, unless the teasing was virtually harmless and non-offensive.

Iniquity wrote:

Tempest80 wrote:I teased other kids often, but that's not the same thing.

Why do you say that? I personally don't see the difference between teasing and bullying, unless the teasing was virtually harmless and non-offensive.

If teasing reaches a certain point, then it becomes bullying.

Iniquity wrote:Why do you say that? I personally don't see the difference between teasing and bullying, unless the teasing was virtually harmless and non-offensive.

I was serious in regards to what I would tease about it, but always did it in a humorous way... they would laugh. I have no idea if they knew I meant what I was saying or not.

i was diagnosed with a severe case of aspd when i was 19. I am 25 now and i have a 3 year old son.
My whole life as far back as i remember i have felt nothing, i am basically empty inside unless it is about me.. Ever since my son was born i feel for him how i feel about myself. I look at it that he is basically a little me. He is actually showing signs of symptoms just like i did when i was his age. But anyway, i put him first and i feel like im a great dad. My family are shocked on how i am with him since they have never seen me like that before.
Sure i can fake emotions pretty well but its pretty obvious to some what i am really like.
My ex (my sons mother) left me a year ago. She said she was jealous of my son cause he got what she never did and that was actual emotions from me..
I have been told i am way 2 attached to my son but how could i not be when i actually care for him. I dont have 2 hide who i am 2 him

Half of what I said in my original post in this topic was BS I wrote it while I was still 'feeling' this place out. So naturally, my first posts were meant to make me out to be a 'nicer' person than I really am.

The basic intention of this thread is still the same though.

Zach_31 wrote:i was diagnosed with a severe case of aspd when i was 19.

I'm not sure what a severe case of AsPD would entail? I would assume in and out of prison, unable to function or lead a productive life etc...

Zach_31 wrote: She said she was jealous of my son cause he got what she never did and that was actual emotions from me..

Wow, she sounds like she has more issues then you do... maybe...

Zach_31 wrote: I dont have 2 hide who i am 2 him

Hmmm... you might want to. It's probably not a good idea to model Antisocial behavior for your son.

Zach_31 wrote:He is actually showing signs of symptoms just like i did when i was his age.

I wouldn't worry, 99.9% of 3 year olds act like they're AsPD The terrible 2's is a myth! It's 3 that's really, really bad.