AsPDs and Psychopaths raising Children

Tempest80 wrote:Does your family know you feel nothing for them?

That's where my problem is... I don't feel anything... If my kids get hurt I don't feel bad, I feel nothing at all but I take that as a good sign... I at least don't enjoy seeing them get hurt like I do other people lol I dislike my children getting hurt. I'm attempting at raising children with no emotional connection or feelings but then why do I care if I screw them up.... very strange.

Because you do care for them, its just that you aren't aware of it like most people are, because we have blindsight regarding our feelings. I don't really understand why I start crying sometimes, its the same thing.

Because you were laughing too hard perhaps?

No, seriously.

I mean when I think of boys I feel rejected by, and I can't be with them. Sometimes I start crying and sometimes I start wanting to smash things up, but I don't know why exactly. Why do I sometimes cry, and sometimes not? What do other people mean when they say they want to cry? To me it just happens then stops.

Is rejection an emotion? I'll have to google that. Perhaps, it's the same thing as anger. I've seen my youngest get so angry that she cries. My oldest 'cries' when she's angry as well but never produces any tears (ever, for any reason).

I have no idea what people mean when they say they want to cry, how do they know they want to cry? My youngest will say when she appears upset "I feel like I want to cry" while her eyes are starting to look wet, her cheeks get a little red as she's trying to hold back and then she bursts like a broken dam lol To me it looks like it would put some pressure in your face/head... the wanting to cry thing, so I'd imagine it feels something like that.

For someone to cry more than a few tears... at least for me, it builds up over a few seconds to minutes where you can feel it coming on. This period is uncomfortable for me, and after crying some of that destructive strong energy is gone/toned down. It is cathartic.

I can cry at will. I use humor a lot with my kids. If one gets whinny about not having the latest video game or something I will say "Really? Poor you... I mean....how do you go on? How can you endure? You poor poor boy!" then I let my eyes all tear up and they laugh and see how silly it all is.
Kinda messed up but it gets the message across.
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One, lol that's a good one. I can't quite pull that off though, my annoyance at the whining shows through. I'm pretty sure my youngest would just run off crying anyway and accuse me of making fun of her lol she often does accuse me of that, I don't think I'm making fun of her... calling her names sure.. sometimes, but hey, if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck... lol

-- Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:42 pm --

realmofsoftdelusions wrote:For someone to cry more than a few tears... at least for me, it builds up over a few seconds to minutes where you can feel it coming on. This period is uncomfortable for me, and after crying some of that destructive strong energy is gone/toned down. It is cathartic.

What does that uncomfortable feeling feel like though? Is it an uncomfortable pressure in your head? My youngest will sometimes come to me saying she has a headache, I wonder if it's just her wanting to cry again.

I think it is a bit like having a cold.
Different from a headache.

But the better question to ask is not how it feels but what it means.
What wanting to cry sometimes means is that you expect some unwanted confrontation that you cannot do anything about. It is asking for some form of comfort or something similar.

Tungsten wrote:What wanting to cry sometimes means is that you expect some unwanted confrontation that you cannot do anything about. It is asking for some form of comfort or something similar.

So she's crying more because she's not getting her way and can't do anything about it. Trying to manipulate me by crying.

Crying can also be about frustration. Not having the words or even understanding to communicate what is inside. Kind of like a baby. Communication is such a skill. If it isnt learned or fully developed, a person will revert back to what they know. For some it is rage (temper tantrums) for others it may be crying.
I know some Asian cultures smile when they are uncomfortable. It can look insensitive to others sometimes but it was what they learned to do from early on.
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