How would psychopaths react to eachother

ajrocker8 wrote:Not that I recommend raping your own girlfriend either, but that carries a slightly lesser risk. In that case, you'll probably just get dumped. If this conversation is too extreme for some people here I will stop now.

No, I pretended to be a woman on sexchat yesterday, I can handle this

Alice I sent you a pm, and don't worry talking about it does not trigger me at all. I'm much more self aware than I was in the last two years.

Yeah I just got it and replied.

WE can talk about out here if you're comfortable with that. I don't mind personally at all, and this is the only forum with the disclamer that says victoms of abuse/violence may trigger and we discuss this stuff to better understand ourselves, the disorder, blah, blah, blah...

It is a sadistic thing, a violent thing and an abuse thing associated with many who share this mentality. I think this is the kinda stuff the disclamer was meant for personally. But your call

-- Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:45 am --

Just a brief FYI in case this convo continues in this direction.

I'm heading to bed now bc it's 1:45am and I'm done for the day. I just wanted to make that known incase you guys do keep talking about this so no one thinks I've been triggered or offended by anything.
(I don't normally announce my leaving like this; just wanted it to be super clear to any mods, posters, readers as well)

Gnite everyone

I completely agree with everything you said. And for the people who judge me, I have ASPD, it's to be expected. And the disclaimer is there for a reason. People who will get triggered should not even bother coming in. It wasn't sadistic on my part, it was more like I had several opportunities to act on an urge and I chose to act on it each time. It was fun, it apparently caused damage to each victim, but it's all in the past.

ajrocker8 wrote:I completely agree with everything you said. And for the people who judge me, I have ASPD, it's to be expected. And the disclaimer is there for a reason. People who will get triggered should not even bother coming in. It wasn't sadistic on my part, it was more like I had several opportunities to act on an urge and I chose to act on it each time. It was fun, it apparently caused damage to each victim, but it's all in the past.

Not sure if rape convo are just sadism

ajrocker8 wrote:I completely agree with everything you said. And for the people who judge me, I have ASPD, it's to be expected. And the disclaimer is there for a reason. People who will get triggered should not even bother coming in. It wasn't sadistic on my part, it was more like I had several opportunities to act on an urge and I chose to act on it each time. It was fun, it apparently caused damage to each victim, but it's all in the past.

You're right AJ!

All too often people forget that many of us are in process of change.
Yes we may have done some very hurtful/abusive things to others in the past, yes we may still have these desires, drives, fantasies, impulses, urges inside us, and yes they did/do bring us pleasure; but the fact remains that we FIGHT these things, and try to overcome them now.
Part of that process is examining the things we did, want to do, etc... In order to see and understand why we did it, what we got from it, and how to deal with it in the present so that we DON'T repeate these same things, or have them go on into worse extremes in future.

Granted, not all of us are 'changing' and I've seen that here as well- those who don't want to/feel it necessary to do so, etc... and that's fine. Change is a personal choice, not to be pushed or judged in either direction; but for those of us who want to change and stop doing these- things talking about them and understanding them is key to the process!

Like, I can plainly see that a lot of people don't like me, think I'm talking a bunch of smack, and all the rest of it. People don't agree with me or like what I have to say/my views on it ect... And that's fine with me, I have nothing to prove nore anything to feel guilty for. I did these things, they were wrong. I still WANT to do these things but I don't because I know see they are wrong, and that causes me great internal conflict and frustration.
We actually talked about that on another thread, how it feels injust that we're not 'allowed' to unleash our rage and get the pleasure of revenge we once did- remember?
That's not something everyone can identify with, and it's very healing for us to talk about these things, get them off our chest and support each other through these things because only those who suffer it truley understand how it feels.

How else are we to learn and grow unless we examine the stuff that lays deep within???

I'm proud of your courage to be honest and disguss this openly, with a kind of respect and tenderness towards others who could be triggered/offended by your actions. That's NOT easy to do, and you should be commended for your honestity and humility in what you've done here (admition)- not judged for it!

I like One's sig: "If you want to change your life do the difficult" and that's just what you've done here.

Peace 2U!
~Alice

Thank you very much Alice! I'm glad you can identify with me so well. I never get to talk about these things in real life, this place is kind of like a release for me, it's almost a form of self therapy. I have no reason to feel shame or guilt for anything I've done and I will never be able to change the way I think, it's way too late for that, but if I can gradually change the way I act, I'll consider that improvement. Thank you for listening!

ajrocker8 wrote:Thank you very much Alice! I'm glad you can identify with me so well. I never get to talk about these things in real life, this place is kind of like a release for me, it's almost a form of self therapy. I have no reason to feel shame or guilt for anything I've done and I will never be able to change the way I think, it's way too late for that, but if I can gradually change the way I act, I'll consider that improvement. Thank you for listening!

No problem

That's one of the reasons I come here, to this particular forum myself. To talk about the things that 'normal' people don't understand like violence, sadism and those more 'antisocial taboo' things... I tried to talk about it in other forums (my Dx'd PD forums) and they just don't get it- it makes me feel bad, awkward and monsterous in a way; but I'm not a monster (nore are you) we're just 2 crazy people who get off on some pretty twisted stuff it's not our fault that we are this way, but excepting it, learning about it and controlling it are the only way to keep others safe in the end. If we don't discuss it here- we'll just break down and do it in the real world.

This place is a God send at times, and I'm thankful for this forum (the whole site) each and every day.

Getting it out and having someone understand and support you- is soooooo important to the process of change. Why do you think alcoholics have support groups? It takes the like minded to understand the menatlity and support the struggles through change.
I'm glad I could help AJ

Yeah you can't talk about violence and sexual aggression in the HPD or BPD forums, it would trigger the people, they are not nearly as depraved as me and you, it would shock them but for me it's the same thing as talking about the weather or baseball or something. And I have to talk about it somewhere, I shouldn't have to hold back and be morally polite all the time when that's not the way I really am at all. I also agree it's not our fault, that's a clique to say that but I believe it to be true. And if I didn't have some form of release for my thoughts I'd be acting on them much more so this place is beneficial to me and to people around me so I don't hurt them. And there are such things as support groups for violent people and sex offenders, I just have never had access to them and I don't think I'd like them very much, but I enjoy this just fine, I don't need anything else at the moment.

Your conversation here is exactly why I Admin this forum. You make it worth while with posts like you have. People NEED to speak and not just hold things in. I say all the time that growth and Insight only happen with motion. Staying still and silent will poison a person. You motion is in your posts. Well done.
As long as your not Encouraging Violent Urges, but instead Talking about them in an effort to understand yourself more, your posts are very welcome here.
One