Your Happy Childhood

Platapus, it doesnt really matter if the memories are true or accurate. They may be pictures connected to emotions. They are yours weather or not anyone else agrees. Remember, YOU get to decide what is abuse and what is not, not anyone else.
One

onebravegirl wrote:Platapus, it doesnt really matter if the memories are true or accurate. They may be pictures connected to emotions. They are yours weather or not anyone else agrees. Remember, YOU get to decide what is abuse and what is not, not anyone else.
One

Thanks One. But is it really that simple? I mean, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't want to be a parent that was judged harshly because my kid had some warped memories of me. And imagine if those false memories were then used to convict someone of a crime they never committed!

There's an interesting article on how we make false memories here.

And I'm not saying that others should question their memories or their abuse. I just feel that I need to because I am confused about what my childhood was like, and there is no way I can align my memories with what the rest of my family has said. Perhaps my memories are mostly accurate, or perhaps I am crazy.

Nothing about the mind is simple. I wish. Im not saying memories should be law. Theres a reason why witness statements are not always reliable in crimes. Trauma effects memory.
My point is that the memory may be your past way of making sense of an emotional trauma in a tangible/visual way. Therapy explores what that memory makes you feel, as an opportunity to explore your deeper emotional messages it may have been created to get in touch with. Kinda like nightmares. I had this happen with me, and the pressure of what is or is not real can get in the way of healing. Theres no control over it anyway. Time travel is not yet an option. Yet
I am way to tired to continue. Night Platypus.
One

Platypus wrote:But memories are subjective, and I question whether what I remember is true

that's what bugging me too, lately. The only one solid thing in life is my fantastic, magical, perfect childhood (first 7 years), but esp. since being on this site I'm questioning myself whether it was a history of psychological abuse and neglect . It certainly was for my 6 yrs older sister (she had her own 'perfect' years before I was born), the same timeframe (my good time) she remembers as a chamber of horrors - as if we were living in separate universes. Whereas we were in it at the same time/space.

I guess 3 would cover it if I have to look back and compare it to an ideal childhood. I don't really remember much of my childhood pre-7 years old. I remember being very poor until moving somewhere else after my parents won a lawsuit and fell into some money. I have older brothers who were more or less bullies until they started doing their own thing. I hated school and didn't have any friends my age, nor was I allowed to do any friend things like sleepovers. I more or less was raised more by my community than my own parents after they were divorced. I didn't fit in at all thanks to not being black or white, thus I had no easily defined niche. My favorite conversations were always with adults. Church every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday. There was some other stuff some people might consider abuse, but honestly if nobody told me I would have just figured it happens to everyone.

fiveintime wrote:AsPD/NPD were examples (burgandy, Demon, list goes on)

Yep, I went through 17 years of living Hell with an AsPD parent, but hey, shlt happens. Life goes on...
I'm an AsPD parent myself now and while I know I wouldn't ever win a Parent Of The Year contest, at least I don't abuse my kid.