Your Happy Childhood

fiveintime wrote:one person's abuse is another's discipline

A lot of so-called 'privileged' people (aristocrats, old money) were brought up with gruesome frugal discipline (bordering on abuse) to keep them grounded in reality & hammer in the lesson that privilege comes with responsibilities. One of the (many) reasons why I despise the oh-so-sensitive nouveau riche.

fiveintime wrote:

kanin wrote:3-4, I'm not sure which. Most older-generation people don't consider what I went through as abuse so I suppose it's a gray area. You should have it as PD parents instead of specifying. They're all their own separate nightmares.

Funny, I was having the same challenge (as it seems a lot of people were). Apparently, the poll needs a 3.5 option. I was smacked around a bit, but one person's abuse is another's discipline, so who's to say? I went with 3, because no broken bones, bruises, or black eyes.

AsPD/NPD were examples (burgandy, Demon, list goes on), but, yeah, I'm sure your borderline parents came with more than their share of problems.

I call it abuse for a few reasons. It was clearly not working as discipline. I bled/bruised regularly. You could tell she got some sort of satisfaction from it. She got the same thing as a kid so you teach what you learned.

lol She wasn't even the borderline parent. My dad never touched any of the kids. He just kind of ignored everything until he had a meltdown.

kanin wrote:She wasn't even the borderline parent.

Yeah, I never really got "violent" from borderline. Unstable, for sure. Rage, clinginess, identity problems, but not really violent. They seem more likely to harm themselves than others. Of course, then there's you with sadistic inclinations, but you lied on your psych test anyway, so who knows what you really are.

fiveintime wrote:They seem more likely to harm themselves than others. Of course, then there's you with sadistic inclinations, but you lied on your psych test anyway, so who knows what you really are.

They do more psychological damage than physical. On whether I am or not, I have no idea. It really depends on the mood I'm in whether I think they were actually onto something or not. I'm just a kitty cat who likes blood way too much.

You know I always thought my childhood was great. But when others get a glimpse they tell me it wasn't. Lol Ya so I got smacked around a bit. But I probably deserved it and you know what if I didn't, where would I be today? Plus, I have also been told that I don't remember all of my childhood. One of my psychotherapists said that, due to probably sexual abuse. Lol Well, good for me I don't remember someone playing with my privates. Lol I mean come on, everyone always blames their parents and their traumatizing experiences in childhood for who they are today. I think that is a cop-out. The past is the past even if the past was just yesterday. I am not going to stand here and say that my parents and family didn't do the best they could. Because I truly believe that they did. My dad in tears has a points in time of my adulthood apologize for some of the things that happened when I was a child. I tell him don't even worry about it. It wasn't that big of a deal. I mean get over it. Move on. So 2nd my eldest brother tormented me in some very sadistic ways, big deal. It wasn't like we didn't do the same to many others. I mean I remember running across some of my old street enemies later on in life and they was like, "yeah, man sorry for trying to kill you back in the day, we all good?" And you know what it is all good. No harm, no foul. Forgiveness isn't a bad thing. It really isn't.

Personally the thing that was the hardest to get over was not the physical abuse. The emotional and mental abuse were much worse.
Feeling/believing that my parents were going to kill me every night, the feeling of SHAME all the time, the thoughts that they hated me, THAT was what did the most damage to me.
One

4.

I also thought of my childhood as being fine due to the lack of emotional affect even as a child. Other people tend to get very uncomfortable, so I stopped telling them stories, like in elementary school, when I listened to my dad bash in my dog's head with a hammer. I don't feel anything about it now, I didn't feel anything about it then... so I guess I've always been abnormal. *shrug*

kstar22bassist wrote:I don't feel anything about it now, I didn't feel anything about it then... so I guess I've always been abnormal. *shrug*

kstar22bassist wrote:I seriously was a genuinely normal kid once. That crap happened, and I've been an actor in the role of "me" as everyone else knew me ever since. All real emotion I had was like the volume of a stereo being turned down so you can talk on your phone. The noise is still there, but barely. It's almost inaudable.

Sorry if this looks like nitpicking. I just had to. It's the nature of a skeptic.

Mr. No One wrote:Lol Ya so I got smacked around a bit. But I probably deserved it and you know what if I didn't, where would I be today?

LOL I got a bit chased about (even smacked!!!!!! ) with a cloth-hanger/wooden spoon by my dear grandmother from time to time. She was the only sane person in the family. Whatever vague semblance of character I happen to possess, it's down to her. I was a horrible child, in retrospect

Mr. No One wrote:I mean come on, everyone always blames their parents and their traumatizing experiences in childhood for who they are today. I think that is a cop-out.

So you're saying that people aren't who they are because of their experiences. Of course everyone blames their parents and their past. Unless you're going to go all biological on me and say it's a physical adaptation of my brain or that it's a genetic predisposition to enjoy drinking blood, go ahead.

As for it being a cop-out, it can be. If you take no responsibility for what you've become, as if you have no independent mind of your own. Yes, I do credit a good deal of it to my parents. However I maintain a fairly positive distant relationship with them. We've talked before about what happened back then and how she feels responsible for "what" I am. I was a weird kid according to her. I reacted to things differently than everyone else and it scared her. I told her it was fine and we've never talked about it again. For a long time I did hold a grudge but that's over. I'm not going to down-play it and say it didn't have an effect on me because it did. I'm also not going to say that it was entirely her fault because others have gone through the same thing and turned out completely different.

I was told by my first therapist that I had to "forgive and forget." I forgave a long time ago but no, I will not forget. It should be "forgive and learn."