Wanting people to fear you

Well if you clearly don't believe that I want to kill people than neither will anyone else, so I can definitely go ahead with telling the truth since no one else'll believe me. I expected serious answers from the other more level-headed members. I certainly wasn't expecting you.

Right. Now I want to change my story just to seek attention. Well thank you for putting words into my mouth. That clearly shows the level of your maturity.

I'm going to stop wasting my time arguing with you now. Thanks for the entertaining attempts to enlighten me, Vivienne. Great way to have a laugh.

Your mind is far too unfocused for you to ever be a successful killer, JustCold. Take it from someone whose met plenty of them. I don't post with the intention of degrading you or your "urges to kill." Ever had the thought you belittle the REAL killers out there. I've met them.

I find your desires to kill rather fruitless as you don't have the capacity to act on them. How do I know this? The real killers are calculative enough not to post their thoughts in this manner. The impulsive or emotional killers (the type prone to having a temper and acting on anger) still have enough level-headedness to be aware of the consequences of doing so. You do not fit into either of the above.

The answer to your 'problem?' Settle down, play mary had a little lamb and take a quiet nap. There's no point thinking over impossibilities. You cannot kill.

Vivienne wrote:Your mind is far too unfocused for you to ever be a successful killer, JustCold. Take it from someone whose met plenty of them. I don't post with the intention of degrading you or your "urges to kill." Ever had the thought you belittle the REAL killers out there. I've met them.

I find your desires to kill rather fruitless as you don't have the capacity to act on them. How do I know this? The real killers are calculative enough not to post their thoughts in this manner. The impulsive or emotional killers (the type prone to having a temper and acting on anger) still have enough level-headedness to be aware of the consequences of doing so. You do not fit into either of the above.

The answer to your 'problem?' Settle down, play mary had a little lamb and take a quiet nap. There's no point thinking over impossibilities. You cannot kill.

You've met serial killers?

Did they offer you Tea and biscuits?

There were no cups of tea I'm afraid, and no biscuits either.

I've met killers. No serial killers, as such. The first killer I met was a man known to most as Jameson. He only killed once. Who did he kill? A complete stranger and for no reason at all. There was no personal motive or aggression. A psychopath? He was never diagnosed. I have met a couple of diagnosed psychopaths in my lifetime. For him, the event was classified as being a result of temporary insanity. He got off fairly lightly. Not the usual jail term for murder.

He was more than willing to speak with me. He laughs as he tells me stories of the prison psychologists. The clueless incompetence of those who strip away at the individual and attempt to peg any disorder they can to force others into a mold as they see fit. The rapists of thought patterns.

I have also met some of the more emotional killers. They are always more revealing of their discomfort. They deny my leading assumptions and questions in relation to violent acts. But I know they killed. I have access to records they cannot imagine. You can see a shadow behind their eyes expressing their own denial. They wouldn't even qualify as being pathological liars though. The lies are so see through and they do little to cover up for their more obvious denial.

Is there anything of a killer still inside? Not with these emotional killer types or perhaps some insist on portraying a facet. I have many facets for different situations myself. That is why I analyse them. One cannot hold up a facet forever, perhaps a few hours or more before you start to see what's truly lurking underneath. I have many interesting little 'tricks' to get there.

Bloody shame about the dearth of tea involved.

(And as a quick aside- if your avatar is a pic of you, then you my dear are one smokin' hot lunatic.)

What is it that you are trying to elicit here? Hell even I nearly want to confess to murder having read your posts so far. I must say, the idea of a high-powered rifle and a hilltop near the University has crossed my mind before....

I'm interested to hear more of your "tricks" as you call them. As I have confessed to others, I am always interested to hear what others see in me. Almost a desire to be "recognized" at times. I must apologize to my darling wooster, but I may have found a new love..... I wonder if wooster is okay with polyamory?

Vivienne wrote:There were no cups of tea I'm afraid, and no biscuits either.

I've met killers. No serial killers, as such. The first killer I met was a man known to most as Jameson. He only killed once. Who did he kill? A complete stranger and for no reason at all. There was no personal motive or aggression. A psychopath? He was never diagnosed. I have met a couple of diagnosed psychopaths in my lifetime. For him, the event was classified as being a result of temporary insanity. He got off fairly lightly. Not the usual jail term for murder.

He was more than willing to speak with me. He laughs as he tells me stories of the prison psychologists. The clueless incompetence of those who strip away at the individual and attempt to peg any disorder they can to force others into a mold as they see fit. The rapists of thought patterns.

I have also met some of the more emotional killers. They are always more revealing of their discomfort. They deny my leading assumptions and questions in relation to violent acts. But I know they killed. I have access to records they cannot imagine. You can see a shadow behind their eyes expressing their own denial. They wouldn't even qualify as being pathological liars though. The lies are so see through and they do little to cover up for their more obvious denial.

Is there anything of a killer still inside? Not with these emotional killer types or perhaps some insist on portraying a facet. I have many facets for different situations myself. That is why I analyse them. One cannot hold up a facet forever, perhaps a few hours or more before you start to see what's truly lurking underneath. I have many interesting little 'tricks' to get there.

How do you get access to records?

My 'tricks' are part of a mind game where there is little to be gained by sharing them in their entirety. People can be such idiots as they give away all their weaponry.

A desire to be recognised kaotikone? Make yourself more recognisable so I shall be more capable of doing so. *Smile*

Killers who use rifles are the most common and least impressive. A poetic death involves the calculation of a sadist and a less calculative victim.

I cannot deny how enjoyable it is to mentally meander over the struggles of a pitiful being as the toxic realisation of their own death unveils itself with an exact and gradual precision. I imagine few are silent once such a realisation falls. Many, I imagine would beg as they are reduced to the sickening level of imitating puppies.

Imagine the mental anxieties, the struggles, the failing physical attempts of a weakened creature. The scent of sickly fear. Everything is about total control. Burn them? Antagonise them? Cut them apart piece by piece? ........

A high powered rifle? No. I consider that death so unpoetical. It should be far more profitable to indulge in the despairing scream and struggles of a lost victim, before finally doing what is kind and snuffing out their life entirely.

My mother is a police officer, Sunlight_hurts. When one visits the exact location to 'help out' on numerous occasions suspicion is minimal. My attempts to contact my father have been entirely fruitless though as you can imagine. She has deliberately disposed or secured any possible means I could use to find his details. She forbids mention of it, and when I mention it anyhow the fights begin.

You can imagine my childhood. My darling over-controlling mother would insist on knowing the details of any acquaintances I came across. She would run background checks on family histories and forbid me from speaking to certain people altogether.

Oh, I had a very happy childhood. : ) Do not mistake this. Happy, but restrained. I am now free of such restraints.

It makes perfect sense, almost complete control was exercised over you with your mom as you stated. And how do you respond? By indulging the idea of having complete control over someone else. Great way to pay it forward, if you actually have indeed paid it forward.

Somebody has almost complete control of my brain, the brainwashing never stops. It must be nice to actually be free from the restraints you've experienced, and you celebrate that freedom by, entertaining the thought of robbing someone else of theirs. Oh, believe me, I've been told how to make the brainwashing stop, I entertain those thoughts all the time, I can't imagine what it would be like to have peace and quiet for once and that only gives me more of a reason to go about it. I'm certainly no murderer though and won't pretend to act ruthless, it's completely out of my character. It's ###$ hilarious how ass-backward your thinking is though.

You're worried about the effects of control and that's what you come up with? Figure out how to dismantle the federal reserve, who controls everyone in the US by determining inflation and the value of a dollar (I mean come on, why wouldn't a dollar equal a dollar), you aren't the only one who hates being controlled. But these words mean nothing, you're the only one that matters, some pointless events have led you to conclude you are the center of the universe and your desires need to be met solely, instead of figuring out a way to put your mind to something which can benefit more than yourself.

But yea, I've finished laughing now. It was hysterical for a minute though.

I have always felt my sadistic urges are somewhat innate as my upbringing was filled with genuine love and kindness on her part. There was always a level of over-protection though. Despite the general positivity I experienced within this environment, I was still only nine years old when I made my first kill: A rabbit. I enjoyed the sensation of control.

I always failed to understand the ordinary explanations my mother provided while explaining the perceived immorality behind my actions.

These days I indulge my urges through thoughts and expressions. I have learnt for the most part not to act on these urges and have even managed not to yell at anyone once during the past year. I consider that an impressive feat for one such as myself.