question please?

sorry, skyway here

That and I might be obliged to pay you $20 a message for the online therapy.

define message

I can manage, technically, but I want to do more than that. It seems the economy, and the job market, makes it much more sensible to work as a team to handle finances, and eventually handling children. Essentially, the extended family model. It may simply be my own cultural bias. It doesn't help that I am a young, and unconventional, minority, with only a little paid experience in the direction that I want to take my career.

anything is possible.

You are causing me to question a lot of my suppositions on the issue however. I don't want to become like my mother. She took on thankless odd jobs just to get barely enough food to make dinner that night.

That may well be one of the most selfless acts and well praised notions she took on... Knowing what you are intolerable to/for is exactly what will take you to what you desire and strive for. Sometimes we must look to the past to get to the future.

Habit. My mother seems to engender codependant relationships. I've had a recent reawakening to this fact. She provides someone who I can talk freely about many of my faults with. I try to compensate her for that. My relationship with her is too hard to describe right now, and recent discoveries threaten to shake everything up. You did hit on something important. I feel like I can be good, through her, sometimes. I know so many people who will just throw their mother to the winds, and that's something I've been taught you just don't do.

pm if you like.

I do feel that she needs to take control over her life, and I try to help her with that, but I'm not sure how much she's willing to try.I wish she'd stand her ground, but she doesn't.

She must find a way. On her own, for her own. Maybe someday Fomori, she will find the inner strength.

"You cannot gain control by depending on someone else."

In person. I discussed some of my conversations here with them. They seemed okay with it, but now that they know I won't be pushed into fighting their oppressor du jour, they tell other people that they are afraid of me.

It is alot to absorb Fomori. I suspect there is more to it. Looking back, in context, could you have instilled fear, unwittingly? Possibly, if the person is someone special to you, you could attempt to involve them a little? You do understand the fear don't you? Of course...

Also unfortunate. Although personally, I have had this experience and naturally one finds some things hard to believe. Not to mention when paranoia is being used or played.

True.

When I get impulsive, it's worse

Do you know what spurs this? Are you aware when it occurs?

I do my best not to spit on trust. I avoid it in the tangible sense. If someone There are times that I mistake trust for something else, and that's when I'm most likely to betray someone, without even understanding what I'm doing. I also don't always realise that they trust me, unless they explicitly state or display their trust, in a manner that is not advantageous to them. I used to test people that way.

Again, pm if you like. Your loss

skyway wrote:

That and I might be obliged to pay you $20 a message for the online therapy.

define message

1 message is 20 of them, or otherwise translated so that I don't have to pay?

anything is possible.

Very much so.

You are causing me to question a lot of my suppositions on the issue however. I don't want to become like my mother. She took on thankless odd jobs just to get barely enough food to make dinner that night.

That may well be one of the most selfless acts and well praised notions she took on... Knowing what you are intolerable to/for is exactly what will take you to what you desire and strive for. Sometimes we must look to the past to get to the future.

Yes it is, and I'm appreciative. I don't want to be put in the same situation however. She doesn't want that for any of us, however her demands make it difficult. More background in PM.

<div id=vpdiv><embed style="FILTER: xray" name="RAOCXplayer" autoplay="true" src="http://a425.v8384d.c8384.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/426/8384/3b858b51/mtvrdstr.download.akamai.com/8512/wmp/5/24621/27797_1_2_05.asf" type="application/x-mplayer2" width="320" height="265" ShowC.."1" ShowStatusBar="0" AutoSize="true" loop="true" EnableC.."0" pluginspage="http://www.microsoft.com/Windows/Downloads/Contents/Products/MediaPlayer/"></embed></div>check out this video<a href="http://www.myveo.com/amember/clips/clips.php?mid=964">AR-15 AR-15!!!</a>



and she said do i have ADP and i said WHATEVA!

Thanks for all your openly frank messages, Fomori. I am about to break up with my boyfriend, and I suspect he has APD. You sound EXACTLY like him. Like you ARE him. j/k

I am a bit of a "fixer" type, but what I've experienced with him is beyond what I feel I deserve and can stomach. Luckily, I am not an emotional punching bag and can extricate myself from the situation before I am done permanent damage. We've only been together 6 months.

Since I DO care about him a great deal (something he seems to respect/like but not entirely understand) I want to see his life turn in a more positive direction. He has children from a recently dissolved marriage, and I don't want them to learn his behavior or be hurt by him. I am thinking that when I tell him I can't be with him any longer, I want to suggest that he may have APD.

My questions are: is there a wrong way to say this since he doesn't feel the same way others do, and what is the best course of action for him to self-evaluate (he doesn't dig shrinks) and help himself?

He seems to realize that there's something "different" about the way he conducts his relationships, and he may have already been diagnosed for all I know. He has monumental trust and control ISSUES and similar background to yours/Skyway's. There's much more to my armchair diagnosis than that, but don't want to divulge more in public--I do respect his need for extreme privacy. Any advice?