Sociopath

Hi Tommy,

You've taken the first step. That first step is a doozy and I know it. It's easy to feel defeated and think I can't get better. You can get better. First you have to admit there is a problem. Most of us never get taht far and it seems most of us that do get to that point have done a lot of damage to our lives and hurt those around us.

When I realized how much damage I had done to others, that's when I got motivated to do something about it. I only later realized how much damage I had done to my own. I wish I had found out at 30, rather than 45.

I'm here to talk with you, I hope you come back. But what you need more than anything is therapy from a professional. The issues you describe are most likely caused by some neglect or abuse you've suffered. You probably never had a chance but now that you've recgonized it, it is time to do something about it. No excsuses man, pick up the phone and make those phone calls, find therapy now.

BTW, I have Paranoid Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personatly disorder. What you're describing SOUNDS like it could be NPD or AsPD. Could be a number of things though, getting to the root and keeping you thinking about the things you need to change are a MUST. My life is not wonderful now, but I am better. I'm not making some of the mistakes that I use to make.

Last year I experienced vandalism at my home 5 times. My family and I were basically terrorized last summer not knowing who did it, when it would happen next and what they would do. I didn't have a camera on my property. I have one now, but no more attacks occurred. The acts included obscenities written out using shaving cream on my van parked outside (May 2004) followed by a doorbell ring at my front door (the culprit didn't stick around of course). A month later on June 27, the culprit came back and used a bar of soap all over my van followed by another doorbell ring about 12:30 am. I went outside and saw what he had done and I noticed obscenities again on the back right passenger's side. I also found soap on my car. On July 4th, sometime after I went to bed after 2:30 am, he came back again (no doorbell ring this time). I came outside and saw 3 of our 4 white pillars had wavy lines of different colored crayons on them. The pillar as we came outside had a drawing of a penis on it as well as the garage door along with obsenities and 2 games of tic-tac-toe. This time the culprit lit off a smoke bomb on the brick ledge in front of the vinyl window base and charred it. Had the window been opened, all that smoke would have gotten on our curtains, furniture, carpet and walls. Worse yet, the sparks that shot from the smoke bomb could have caught the curtains on fire. A month later (end of July) while my family and I were vacationing, he came back with his buddies and brother (I assume) stole an emptied portable toilet (a teen I know opened the door and saw the same stuff on the inside walls that was on my house; I showed him the video footage I had of all the vandalism up to that point) from a new housing development several blocks away and wheeled it on a cart some time after midnight and dropped it on our lawn. I found out from a young female teen that her neighbor (a teen boy and 15 at the time) was involved in everything (by the way, police reports were filed for all incidents except the one involving shave cream). I notified the police about this and her mother denied any direct contact with that boy (he thought it was fun to do he told the daughter, but she didn't think it was). He later came back at 4:30 am on Labor Day 2004 and poked a bunch of forks in my yard. That same day the father of the 15 yo teen boy told me at our community pool that his son was accused of assaulting a 10 yo boy in the woods behind our house and the father told me someone else did it. I didn't know the boy at the time, but I learned of him after one of my daughter's soccer games. I mentioned my situation and was told someone's son was the one who was assaulted. I found out he had been the one who was bullied throughout the summer and when he was in the woods behind my house, he was pushed down and had his legs bent back and was told to stay out of the woods. The one involved was the 15 yo I mentioned earlier and his 13 yo brother. The mother of the hurt boy went to the teens' house, the mother said it was her husband's job to handle the boys (they have 7 kids total and the 15 yo is the oldest), but the husband was out of town for the next 5 days. When the father got back, he went over to the 10 yo boy's house, brought his boys and others over, disputed everything, told her to stop harassing his teen boys and not to touch them - basically tried to intimidate her to back down. The boys said all they did was invite the 10 yo to play - yeah right. The mother didn't back down - good for her. As a result, when they left, the boys cussed at her and the father flipped her off. I asked her if the father told her someone else did it and she said no. I found out later (from the homeowner and her daughter after mentioning my vandalism incidents) the homeowner caught the teen boys in May 2004 pouring a foul-smelling liquid from a 2-ltr bottle on her front porch about 2 blocks from me and they threw the bottle on her lawn. She opened the door, told them to clean up their mess and they denied it. The father was eventually called (the daughter recognized their description given by her mother) and the father came by to apologize. Unfortunately she didn't call the police to report those two. The father knew all along what his boys had done to that house when I asked for his help on July 4th to ask if his boys knew anything about the vandalism on my property. On Labor Day, he told me at our pool that he heard the portable toilet fell off a truck and later in the week I knew that was not true since it landed in my yard after midnight and there was no damage. When the teen boys and 2 others came by my house, I yelled out who was trashing my property and who dumped the portable toilet on my lawn. The father came back, along with his 2 boys and others, and disputed it with me. The 15 yo of course denied it and said he couldn't haul something like that to my yard by himself. The father is basically covering for his boys and is facilitating their noctournal behavior. He said they don't get out late at night (I found out from the neighbor that they do), but how would he know if he's asleep at the time and my house is only 2-3 minutes from me! We suspect his 15 yo teen was the one tapping on our patio window on the Friday before Labor Day, but ran off when a neighbor teen went outside to investigate. The boys were out of control last summer and who knows what they'll do this summer? Could it escalate and get worse? Have they learned their lesson (after they realized I was onto them)? By the way, I recently learned from a mother in my neighborhood whose son had a rock thrown at him (but missed) by the 13 yo brother - more problems. I documented everything that happened last summer and the local police thinks the incidents were caused by 2 other teens who were caught spewing the local high school principals house with a fire extinguisher and they had taken out election signs, etc., from throughout the neighborhood and dumped them on his lawn. I found out months later they shoved the fire extinguisher through the rear window of a neighbor's SUV. The boys were prosecuted, but the police are reluctant to accuse those other boys of vandalizing my property!!! I'm in limbo now! Should I file charges anyway after all this time or will I make it worse? I feel certain the father knew all along and was being protective of them and his reputation since he's the manager of a nationwide chain store (I've been told he is not around alot). Is it a waste of time now to get them legally even though their teen neighbor won't talk to the police out of fear of being labeled a snitch and have those boys ruin hight school for her and the fact she's a next door neighbor? If I do file charges, I'm concerned they'll be vindictive. I have alerted a few people in the community about what happened last summer so they'll be aware. As of last night, I'm now considered being a gossip if I try to warn others at our local pool. By the way, the police levy didn't pass (again) and there have no detectives to work my case. I basically conducted my own investigation, but I'm not the law so all I have is hearsay and allegations. My outdoor camera (hooked up to my VCR) will run mostly on weekends since that's when I was vandalized last year. Those boys fit the definition of conduct disorder and sociopath from what I can tell. I'm concerned they'll get worse over the summer. Any recommendations?

hey he got my splelling