Narcissism..

justonemoreperson wrote:

Seili wrote:
Fine I'll just leave then.

Don't forget your ball.

I never was into your games. That's yours, it always was.

Oh, you're back.

justonemoreperson wrote:You'd have to tell me; you're the one who brought the subject up. Why do you feel the need to discuss it?

So you think there's a problem but you can't tell me what it is.. What makes you think there's a problem in the first place then? I'm of the opinion that there isn't, remember?

Oh wait, you go on to explain what you think the problem is..

I'm sure that the answer is already clear to you, inasmuch as the answer to what the issue is with NPD itself.

Narcissism usually exists because a person needs a supply; they require the attention of others for their sense of self-worth. If you have this emotional need, then the problem to you has already started. It's never going to be satisfied and it's never going to stop.

My ego is built on my accomplishments and attention is a means to attain comfort..

Ego is just a sense of accomplishment, really.. If I don't strive to attain control and influence, it's not going to be as easy to get what I want out of life, so I do get very frustrated when that doesn't go my way.. I don't really ever get depressed or unmotivated though.. I'm quite set on living the kind of life I want to live, so nothing really holds me down for long.

People are not stupid, and the trait will be obvious to others, and so they'll pull away and the ability for the narc to get their supply will be harder, to the point where they'll look for any means to get the attention.

I'm often in and out of other people's lives, not the other way around.

I don't mean this to sound patronising, but how old are you?

From experience, it's fairly obvious what the downside is to narcissism. You'll end up being less trusted, you'll miss stuff because you won't be tuned in enough to other people to pick up on things that are working against you.

You'll assume everything is going better than it really is, under-estimate the negative effect you're having on people around you, leading you to become less effective over time.

The primary focus is the attention you get, so the real objectives to success will become unfocused, transient and sporadic.

justonemoreperson wrote:From experience, it's fairly obvious what the downside is to narcissism. You'll end up being less trusted, you'll miss stuff because you won't be tuned in enough to other people to pick up on things that are working against you.

I'm usually pretty good at knowing what's socially appropriate and tend to only disregard that sense when I don't have any use for it..

Egocentric and primarily focused on self-agenda, but not generally oblivious on how to act or to people's intentions.

Yeah, I used to think that too.

My sense of entitlement frustrates me so much because I feel like I'm never getting what I feel I'm entitled to.

It's like a vicious cycle.

EllaBlack wrote:Narcissism.. Excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.. What's wrong with that?

The word 'excessive' is a pretty clear indication that something is going on internally that isn't healthy. Unhealthy narcissism is a coping mechanism for an insecurity.

Do you really not see anything wrong with that?

So, there's a need in narcissists to be liked for their true self, but they're too afraid to be vulnerable so they create a false self (in other words, roleplay) to get the attention, recognition, respect etc. that they desire..

I can't understand how that could be fulfilling.. Something doesn't make sense with that picture.

Actually, I guess it does make sense in an ashamed and lonely mind..

EllaBlack wrote:So, there's a need in narcissists to be liked for their true self, but they're too afraid to be vulnerable so they create a false self (in other words, roleplay) to get the attention, recognition, respect etc. that they desire..

I wouldn't call a coping mechanism roleplay because that's not what it is. It's a defense mechanism built to protect their ego.

Narcissists don't want to be liked for their true selves because their true self is insecure and fragile. They want to be liked for what they perceive to be their true selves, and that is the defense mechanism they created to protect their fragility.

Actually, I guess it does make sense in an ashamed and lonely mind..

I imagine there's a lot of shame in narcissists and deep down, it's likely a very lonely place to be.