Friends And Other Mythical Creatures

I was thinking about this because I see people here talk about their friends, people they seem to have known for months or years and I wonder why.

I'm someone who only uses people and often don't see the point in maintaining any kind of genuine friendship with anyone. Once I'm done using someone I discard them. I tend not to think about long-term use. If you're no longer useful to me now then I won't bother keeping you around.


- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?

- Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?

- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?


Just people who I share similar interests with and like to joke with, that’s pretty much all friends are in my opinion. People so you don’t have to do things alone. Friends help each other out when in trouble, I’ll be up front I don’t like this exchange. I don’t want anything from you and don’t want to be on the hook chasing someone else’s problems around. If this dynamic isn’t there I slowly ghost them

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

I’ve lost contact with most if not all friends I grew up with, I socialize with like 3 guys at work will occasionally hang out with them out of work but not often. Have known them years, it’s genuine, we don’t bond or get all deep and shlt but it’s on the level

- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?

I would imagine it would depend on the psychopath, from what I have read from psychopaths it’s probably unlikely, atleast in the same way normal people have them. I imagine even if they value the friendship enough to not betray the friend they wouldn’t give a $#%^ enough to do anything for them but who knows it’s different for everyone.

- Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?

Psychopath or sociopath definitely, we all met through school, shlt to do like anyone else. Boring sitting around alone right? He was a terrible friend and is still a dbag till this day

Reaper wrote:...And Other Mythical Creatures

Go on....

- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?

Can't say I've ever met someone who was a genuine friend. I tend to expect more and more of people as I'm around them more and that leads to dissapointment which leads to temporary resentment. It's impossible to please me because I can't control a person 100% and when I set my eyes on a person my expectations increase because I see myself as more important in their eyes(often I believe I should be the most important thing in their life.)

Basically, I only see someone as a friend when I'm controlling and I am enjoying them because of it.

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

Friends to me are there for quick fun and stimulation and deep conversation, self-validation(when they're new, otherwise they don't validate me), and mainly to use some of their resources. The latter is the only reason I'll keep someone around because the first 2 die once the person is no longer "fresh".

poxalis wrote:

Reaper wrote:...And Other Mythical Creatures

Go on....

I added that just for the catchy title.

Feel free to mention any mythical creatures you've heard of and want to discuss.

- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?

Haven't thought about it that way. They're all different.

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

Always had the same long-term friends. Never had a false friendship last very long.

- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?

Of course they would, lol. Why wouldn't they?

- Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?

They don't exist in a way these kinds of questions can be asked - like they're Martians, or whatever. It's verb rather than noun: intelligent/sadist borderlines can learn a psychopathic style the same as born nothing-feelers do (who without reliable emotional feedback, carry pre-adolescent selfishness into narcissism). Actual emotionlessness isn't untrue, but might be BS with respect to antisocials.

Friendships with classic psychos like the type everybody here gets hard about (i.e. cold/angry/fearless/cynical under a congenial social mask, etc): they're mutually beneficial for a bunch of reasons. Mostly they just show how normal they are. If you can detach from the emotional rigmarole of ordinary middle-class people to begin with, there's nothing strange about the duplicitous Machiavellian stuff - it's just wanting a reaction that'll help offset an anger problem going on unconsciously, or whatever. Screwing with other people's personality algorithms is a weird kind of strength-game, in a way - so if you're a bit psychopathic yourself (with some detachment control), friendship with another psycho can be extremely handy.

NTs are easily swept up by false heuristics so they tend to get hurt more often than necessary. If you're open-minded and nonjudgmental (in a detached kind of a way) then chances are a psychopath will eventually reveal themselves to be fairly child-like underneath, especially wrt to their intellectual security. In terms of friends in the real world, feedback has been that I "see" them properly, or something, which they're usually unfamiliar with. In turn, they're playful and help me get off my arse.

"Psychopaths" on psychforums are more the cerebral neurotic kind. Can understand a self-confident reptilian visiting or maybe finding some of it useful reading, but the issue with traditional Dutton/Hare psychos is they're low in amygdala feedback and so require way more stimulus than online self-image masturbation can generally give. Psycho ADHD extroverts, unless they're otherwise debilitated, would sooner stab themselves than spend all day in a room reading text symbols. One that I know must've had sex with 15 chicks the past couple months, and a whole group of people circles him like he's Vin Diesel from the first Fast&theFurious - and he's always interacting with someone.

Good-value psycho friends are exactly like James Steerforth. The point (in person) isn't how little they feel inside: it's how they make up for it through their assertion of will; how dynamic and endurable and muscular their will is and how much their mental exercising is benefited by being around your particular mentality. Amazing how small a deal it all is when the BS gets stripped away, and it's just a person in front of you.

On the other hand you have posters like Nasty_Boy who said people don't realise how dangerous sociopaths are, even sociopaths should avoid other sociopaths. In that worldview sociopaths sound like psychopaths with depression - a depressed psycho is the last person you can rely on probably. But a content one getting regular blowjobs will just seem either ADHD or narcissistic or both.

- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend.
A very complex question in part because ‘friendship’ covers such a wide range of different relationships. I refer to some of my colleagues as friends, which they are in a way, but I don’t think of all but a couple of them in the same light as I view my close friends outside work. All friendships are all about emotional connectedness with other people, although sometimes it’s used to mean ‘people in my life’ or ‘people I know’ or ‘people I hang out with’ which is not the same thing in my opinion. Friendship requires investment. At the most intense end of the spectrum the driving emotion behind a friendship is love, it may not have some of the qualities of romantic love, but it is still fundamentally the same. It’s a bit cliche but victories are sweetened and failures softened because you did them together. Friendship, and connectedness generally, changes your experience of the world in a subtle yet invasive way.

What qualities do you value in them?
It’s the wrong kind of question. We respect and admire people for their virtues and abilities but we love them for their flaws and idiosyncrasies.

There are undoubtedly people whom I would not want to get close to because of their failings (although usually it’s because I find them rancid at a core level) but I’m not friends with single person out of anything as tangible as traits. In a way it’s a bit like romanitic relationships in that you need to be attracted to the other person, but attraction is not emotional connectedness. It isn’t something that can be broken down like that but is more holistic in nature.

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve?
The oldest friend among my close friends I met outside our physics class room on the first day of sixth form so that would be over 15 years.

And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?
Yes I think so. I’m not sure how we’re defining genuine. I genuinely feel connection and affection for them if that’s what you mean.

- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?
I doubt it. In fact I would go further and say that I think pretty much everyone with a personality disorder would struggle. All PDs can be characterised as a series of dysfunctional behaviours in the interpersonal realm, it’s what the interpersonal theories of personality disorder are all about.

What they might have are aquaintances that they can pick up and put down on a whim. A casual relationship with no need for any sort of commitment. I can see something like that continuing simply because it doesn’t actually require anything much from them.

Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?
Nope

Reaper wrote:I was thinking about this because I see people here talk about their friends, people they seem to have known for months or years and I wonder why.

I'm someone who only uses people and often don't see the point in maintaining any kind of genuine friendship with anyone. Once I'm done using someone I discard them. I tend not to think about long-term use. If you're no longer useful to me now then I won't bother keeping you around.


- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?

- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?

- Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?

I like people a lot more than people realise but I've never felt the friendship thing and it's always made me feel a bit bad in a way because I know that people have felt that friendship thing towards me and I just end up sh*tting all over them.

I can go years in between seeing these people and they would always welcome me back into their lives.

I've met a lot of people in my life and some of them have been quite dangerous but whether or not they are psychopathic, I do not know.

- What does friendship mean to you? How do you define someone as a genuine friend. What qualities do you value in them?

My definition of a friend is probably not the same as many. I'm told I'm a sh1t friend, as I don't make any real effort with anyone unless I want something. I don't 'maintain' friendships, so most of my friends are people who are happy having very long breaks between seeing each other.



- How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. What purpose do they serve? And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not?

I really only have one friend, inasmuch as I have one person who I see regularly without external influence. He's a biker mate I smoke weed and drink with and he lives less than a mile away. I've seen him once in the past two weeks. In common we have motorbikes, weed, alcohol and a sick sense of humour.

The rest of my local friends exist because my wife maintains them. She'll organise dinner out or something similar. They're not reluctant friendships, as I find their company interesting, I just wouldn't bother unless it was arranged.

I have another friend who I've known since school, but I've not seen him in years, as both of us are as unreliable as each other.

People who need close, maintained friendships find me too frustrating.

The rest of my friendships are work-based; people I've worked with over the years who I get on with. Most of them are oversees or living in other parts of the UK. I don't see them much and tend to catch up when I'm in the area, mostly because they know I'm coming and arrange stuff.

Having friends in remote places suits me best, as there's a good reason why I only see them from time to time and so the whole 'friend maintenance' thing isn't an issue. I get bored with people easily.

My wife helps me to maintain relationships I have; she'll remind me to say something to someone if someone's dropped dead or it's their birthday etc. In social settings, she'll remind me of things that I'm supposed to know or care about when I'm about to talk to someone, so I don't just start joking around or do a 'Frank Gallagher' on them.


- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?

I doubt it. It would be very transient and self-serving. i don't need someone to 'talk about my problems with', so my friends are people to drink and do stupid sh1t with.

Having more people around to help with sh1t sometimes would be useful, but I'd prefer to hire someone to do something I can't do myself than have to maintain a relationship on the off-chance that it will work out worthwhile.

What does friendship mean to you? - No obligations. Don’t make demands on me . Supportive during times of trouble.
How do you define someone as a genuine friend. Loyal. Backs me up whether I am wrong or right. In return I will make certain compromises for them.
What qualities do you value in them? Their genuine care for me. They Like me.

How long have you had your current friends for and why do you continue to maintain a relationship with them. > 10yrs
What purpose do they serve? I can only answer this by imagining they died. Then I would feel more alone in the world.
And is your friendship with them genuine. Why or why not? Yes. It has stood the test of time... fall outs, harsh words, shared experiences, both good and bad.
Over 10yrs. R’ship maintained by phone at moment with one. The other two are sporadic, by phone.
- Would a psychopath have genuine friends and maintain that friendship long-term? Why do you think they would or wouldn't?
I would say NO. Criminal profilers usually identify them as loners and friendless.
Those with narcissistic core may charm others into thinking they are friends, but such people are valueless to the psychopath regarding genuine care for them or support.


- Have you ever been friends with a psychopath? If yes, why do you think that friendship exists, and do you believe it's genuine?
I honestly think they are hard to identify. So far there have been none that I have befriended, that I am aware of.
My last 2 x exes had antisocial and sociopathic traits. I am still friends with one who also has had many diagnoses ranging from npd, bpd, and more recently bi-polar. I remain loyal as a friend because I value his intelligence, humour and insight. I don’t judge him and accept his many crazy phases. Have had to forgive him for some despicable things he has done, when no one else could. In return he is supportive and knows how I tick, which is rare. I guess the friendship with him is special because of a mutual understanding, acceptance and empathy for how the other operates, feels, thinks.