Self Deprecating Humour

cinnamoncookie wrote:Some people try to make self-deprecating jokes and just fail horribly because they don't understand what would be funny to joke about to others, as in what others would see as weird, stupid or intimidating etc

I have seen people who try to mimic it,fail . All it reveals to me is they have 'no core self'.
I don't think self deprecating humour is ever intimidating. The usual purpose to to be less intimidating, or quash certain jealousies and other perceptions.

cinnamoncookie wrote:people with certain PDs and generally mental illness would logically be worse at it for that reason.

I think it is def. true for certain pd's.
My experience of those with npd and aspd has led me to believe they are less good at it than others as I thought they may be more sensitive to humiliation, but my assumptions could be dead wrong, esp considering Jomp and Zero-Z use it.

Great comedians often have Mental health issues esp, ironically, depression.

I guess one cannot generalise, something I have a tendency towards

The difference when I use it is I know it’s not true, if someone else does it for me then I usually have more of an issue with it. Some things I am very guarded about but other things I can joke about, depends if it has any teeth

justonemoreperson wrote:I do this all of the time. People realise the more comfortable you are taking the piss out of yourself, the more confident and competent you are.

Or... you're using it as a defense mechanism to cope with embarrassment. If you're doing it alot, as you claim, then one has to wonder why you resort to it so often.

I personally don't see why you would need to use it so often. I've used it myself, but not much and only because I really did see humor in the situation. I also used it a couple of times when I was in a lot of physical pain after an accident. It helped to lighten the situation and made it easier to cope with the pain. They say laughter is the best medicine.

It's the complete opposite of people bragging about themselves. The minute someone starts bragging, you instantly realise they have something to prove.

Why can't it be simply because they're proud of what they've achieved and want to share that achievement with others. Not everyone is aware of your achievements, and if you've already proved what you've done through the achievement, then what's left to prove?

Of course, there are those who like to brag because they're cocky and arrogant and want everyone to know how great they are:

Oh look, psychopaths do it:

GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

That trait doesn't apply to you apparently, among the many other psychopathic traits that don't seem to apply to you either... go figure.

ZeroZ wrote:The difference when I use it is I know it’s not true,

I guess that's part of it. If you joke about something in yourself, you're basically saying, "this doesn't bother me," so you're removing the issue from the table. It's hard to insult someone who agrees with you.

It's a deescalation, no one reacts defensively to something that's obviously not true. If you defend something immaterial, people always wonder why you feel the need to do so.

if someone criticised me for having blue hair, I'd not bother to defend my position, because I don't have blue hair and everyone can see it for themselves.

Sometimes I take a humble approach to dealing with people too. Like just now, this lady asked me a really stupid obvious question and I just said I don’t know, when I did because I didn’t want to get into a discussion about it, then when she went into the history of the whole thing I was thinking I don’t care lady I need to go, but I smiled and walked away, she was still talking maybe still is as I type this who knows but people are so much easier to deal with like this. I don’t care, I just want to make this as easy for me as possible, that’s what I’m thinking

I am often self-depreciating and am quite comfortable seeing myself as not knowing or able and poking fun at it for others and myself

salles wrote:I notice people with Narcissistic traits and /or Aspd traits lack this ability.
I am surprised because it is such an effective tool to put people at ease.

''new studies have shown that a self-deprecating sense of humor actually promotes psychological well-being. Taking the first jab at yourself when you stumble alleviates that pressure. They may be laughing at you, but at least you made the joke.''

so, the question is

Do you lack this ability to laugh at yourself?
If so, why ? Is self embarrassment an issue for you?

I don't think I'd have made it this far without the ability to laugh at myself.

I laugh more at other people though.