Pathological vs Compulsive Lying

The difference, says Lysn psychologist Tahnee Schulz, is nature vs nurture.

"For a pathological liar, lying is innate. There's a genetic predisposition, perhaps activated by trauma, personality disorder, or brain injury. Compulsive lying is more a learnt behaviour. A pathological liar is a compulsive liar but a compulsive liar isn't necessarily a pathological liar."

According to Schulz, behind a compulsive liar is a desire to be "accepted, connected, interesting or to get attention." Meanwhile, pathological liars will lie "sometimes for no purpose whatsoever."

They can both be charismatic, but a pathological liar can be dangerous; they have "no moral compass and no empathy" she says.

Compulsive liars may do so for, what they perceive to be, good reason.

"To conceal something in order to have acceptance, avoid punishment, or as a survival technique."

I don't know where I fit in that because I don't think my lying is innate, and I don't lie for attention, connection or to be accepted. I do lie to avoid punishment, and a whole bunch of other reasons. The main ones are: to get out of doing something I don't want to do, to manipulate/con people, and to amuse myself (I get what is referred to as 'dupers delight').

- If you're someone (or know someone) who lies a lot, do you see yourself (or them) as a pathological or compulsive liar? Why do you/they lie so often? Do you have any interesting stories related to lying, or being lied to?

- If pathological lying is a genetic predisposition, does that mean ALL psychopaths are pathological liars? What do you think?

- If you're someone (or know someone) who lies a lot, do you see yourself (or them) as a pathological or compulsive liar? Why do you/they lie so often? Do you have any interesting stories related to lying, or being lied to?

Ohh I’ve been around a few, I lied more when I was younger, I’m not really sure why to be honest. Lol that’s funny anyway I’ve talked about my Ex’s family absolutely pathological liar. If her mouth was open she was lying, lied about shlt that was pointless to lie about like you said, she just made herself look bad but I don’t think she really cared. Just a few that I can think of that are funny.

She was always getting cats then they would disappear I barely even noticed anymore, she got one I actually liked so when it disappeared she said it jumped out the window and ran away. I was like another one? Maybe close the window stupid, probably a month or so later and I’m at her mothers house and I see the fuking cat, she gave it to her then lied about that said it was a different car, that looked exactly the same and came to me when I called it, her brother ratted her out to which she just giggled like a school girl.

Her Sister when we first met told me she was a world famous painter from France, even though she must have realized I was dating her sister and knew she was a single mother on welfare living around the block. She told me she had her kids tested and all were geniuses which was clearly a lie.

My ex lied about having cheating on me to get me jealous, when that didn’t work she sent herself flowers and froze them you know to preserve them forever. Fuking whackadoodles some of the shlt is so out there it’s just funny
- If pathological lying is a genetic predisposition, does that mean ALL psychopaths are pathological liars? What do you think?

I have no idea, I’d imagine not all psychopaths are pathological liars but I really don’t know

My father once told us as kids that our mother is a 'pathological liar.' Now I know why he emphasised pathological. It is true she lies for no particular reason. I actually accused her of being 'psychopathic' two days ago, probably an exaggeration but definitely some PD going on.
The definition of compulsive lying describes a girl I work with. We take everything she says with a grain of salt, to the extent we do not know whether to be sympathetic or not regarding her supposed tumour and scheduled surgery. I will be p1ssed off if she is lying as we will be short staffed for 3mths.

Strangely, I don't hate either for it. It's just a bit weird. Especially as lying makes life harder. Doesn't make sense to indulge unnecessarily.

I don’t see the point behind most of it, just incapable of telling the truth, some of it is so ludicrous they must know no one believes them. Then again...

Probably my closest friend at work lies a lot, he’s clever I’m not sure I’d call it pathological but maybe. He likes to mix in facts and lies he plays stupid and intentionally gets facts wrong to see what you know if you correct him etc. it’s not malicious but it’s exhausting trying to figure out what’s fact from fiction and I will just not talk to him alot

Most liars I know through obvious observations compulsively lie about other people. Perhaps they are unconsciously bored and need this added mystique to everything.

When in private with someone I just take everything as the truth. Without questioning. I believe everyone is responsible for their words and actions. it's not for me to intervene. If it was a lie, it will come down eventually. Actions speak louder than words.

- If you're someone (or know someone) who lies a lot, do you see yourself (or them) as a pathological or compulsive liar? Why do you/they lie so often? Do you have any interesting stories related to lying, or being lied to?

I do not see myself as lies and never will, other people do not always wish to hear the truth so I might lie if I care enough and see a reason for them to like me.

- If pathological lying is a genetic predisposition, does that mean ALL psychopaths are pathological liars? What do you think?

Psychopaths if they are good will fit in very good so then they lie for the reason to fit in but I do not believe they do it to be bad, it is just a game to fit in.

Being generous with the rope, reduces effort.

i don't really have a lot to lie about on the surface, but if i dig deeper i find out i lie to myself, above all else. this doesn't really seem to fit the compulsive definition.

also i remember there was a home video of me when i ws like 3 yrs old eating food with my hands. my mom didn't like that so i shoved the food into my mouth as fast i could. on camera when she asked if i used a fork i nodded my head yes. then she asked where is the fork, and i shook my head no. the fork was under my table, the camera sees, where i had put it before eating.

that's the earliers lie i have proof of, so i wonder if this was learned or just something i came up w out of my brilliant mind.

If they let you get away with it, you get comfortable lying. As opposed to, if they fight it, then you confusingly introject that it is detrimental. And later on, it may solidifies into values.

In my family, people like to steal. Growing up, stealing felt like an acceptable thing to do.

edit: not just acceptable actually, it felt completely natural.

Pathological. I used to be worse when I was younger. I'd make up stuff on the spot and it never occurred to me whether what I was saying was true or not, it was just whatever worked best at the time.

Even if there was no real purpose to it, truth had no real "value," talking with others was like a game, a bit like a computer game where you select the right answer to make something happen.

As I got older I started to realise that my lies didn't go unnoticed and even if people were duped at the time, they would eventually find out and it all fell apart. It didn't stop me though, but I did get more careful with it. Having a good memory helps.

My previous relationships were a concatenation of bullsh1t, which is what finally finished them off; every ex-partner I've had has said that the lying was the worst part.

To be honest (ha!), I still can't really see what the issue is; who cares if something true or not, as long as you're having fun, what's the problem? But, it is a problem apparently, and if the current Mrs. Jomp isn't going to f*ck off in a bad mood, I needed to curb it, at least over the important stuff, and so I try my best to not do it.

I can do it, it just means I have a restricted supply of stories.

This forum helps. I force myself to be honest here. I write a reply and then re-read it with my bollocks detector switched on and fix anything that's untrue. It helps to remind myself to edit what I'm about to say to strip out the shite.

I think the main problem is that life is fairly boring on a day-to-day basis. Who wants to hear stories about what someone's doing on a daily basis? It's boring. Life should be a string of interesting events.

We thrive on being lied to, which is why Hollywood exists, but as soon as it's done "live" it's a problem somehow.