Dignity

@OP

I'd like to say it doesn't affect me but the narc in me reacts when someone disrespects me, depending on who it is and / or what's at stake.

I don't think it's genuine concern for a lack of dignity though; there have been many "undignified" behaviours and responses in the past and they don't bother me.

I think some of it is a defensive reaction and some of it would depend on what I'm losing dignity over.

It's short-lived; get annoyed as a reaction but forget about it fairly quickly.

solemnlysworn wrote:What are your thoughts on the concept of dignity?

I want to leave this as an open question before narrowing it down. This topic comes to mind because of some comments made elsewhere on the forum about manners. I think an extension in thought can be made but would like to hear what you think

I don't associate dignity with manners so much as keeping one's emotions in check. Dignity = grace when under attack; not taking the bait; not succumbing to verbal or physical abuse; not selling oneself short because they are lonely, bored. And accepting things beyond one's control

I have one good friend who is highly emotional. The words of advice I seem to give her most are 'keep your dignity', with respect to her outbursts at work, her defensive reactions, and her choices in men. I ask her to visualise how she would like to be viewed; as a screaming shrieking shrew who has lost the plot, or someone calm and dignified. My advice never works.

Dignity is about rejection of judgement. People expecting you to act a certain way and then not acting in a judgemental way but in a kind or strong way.

It doesn't mean anything particularly to me.

Pretending that things don't affect me or that I can rise above things is not what I do. I just lay it all down. It's kinda trashy if I think about it.

Yeah boy

I like the way the work it

No dignity; No doubt

Its difficult if you want to distinguish it from honor.

But let's say honor is the greatest of external goods, so it is a very valuable commodity, more even than power and money which can be lost easily, while honor, not so much. You can even be dead an be honored, but you loose your wealth and power.

Now, dignity, is what leads to being worthy of honor, and that usually is some excellence. So of course it is important to cultivate, not for the honor it could give, but for itself, otherwise it is just fake, and people will see through it eventually most likely, but probably more importantly, the fake will know and probably will have low self-esteem, unless delusional. Also, there is the idea of the Christians that people are worth a basic dignity, just because they are. This is the basis of human rights and so on.

I am saying this, because both are quite different. The first is based on merit, while the latter is not. But also they are part of two different system of ethics. In the first, honor is not given, except perhaps, through lineage, but really it is based on personal merit in theory, if the society is truly based on merit, and not some other things. And today it is based on some other things, and one of those things, is the second system, so people think they deserve honor, just for being, so there is a strong sense of entitlement, while in theory again, that second ethical system taught humility above anything else, and that most merit is really circumstantial and based on luck for the most part, but certainly the act of being is not based on merit. So people are messed up between the two greatly, and it adds to the overall viciousness.

But really, I believe what you want to know is about honor, not dignity. Or respect if you will.

Its something I used to disdain, but I realized the errors of my ways, so I try to give it, and I at the same time want it as well. If I meet people that don't, then I take it away from them as well. Its important for many reasons, but one is that you truly want to avoid people that have contempt for you, and lack of respect is a sign of that. So you want to cut things quickly if you can, so not to be the target of some mischiefs, because the contemptuous, or the jealous, will try to destroy what you have, just for the sheer joy of it, so it is a danger. Showing them you can do the same is a good way to tell them that they won't get away with it, and they usually get the message. Those things only really work when you can cheat, otherwise there is no gain, so it works.

So it depends in the end if the dignity is merited or not. If it is, I will give honor, if not, I might point out the fakery, or just go to phase contempt as a preventive measure, because being fake in itself is a cause of concern. But sometimes people are fake without knowing, so it can be a simple correction.

Maybe it is a bit too general for your taste, but that would be my take on it at the moment.

No, not at all. I think I took a concept that is probably a little too abstract and asked people to be too specific. Probably the wrong approach.

I did have the idea of respect and honour in mind but tried to step around it and avoid it because it's easily entangled. Respect and honour are bestowed by a community and whatever it may value at the time. Dignity says something regardless of somebody's honour and respect you might have for them and I think I was curious about what others think about the people who are dignified and whether they might respect that and whether there was any sense of dignity among the people here in that they ought to act a certain way because it is right rather than because it is valuable to do so.

My more abstract thought before this thread was whether honour and dignity have to be related. It's quite easy to be impressed by somebody and respect what they have done but still dishonourable behaviour or means tend to tarnish that easily. In warrior cultures where maiming an enemy and raping their women was considered par for the course, this excellence and conduct in war was honoured. Was it also dignified or does dignity hint at something more similar to humanity and observation of the right of others? Honorific awards generally come about through service to the wider community. I don't know if dignity as I understand it's current meaning, relating to observance of certain human right or decency towards others, is needed here to gain honour. That said, when it is seen that a person is lacking honourable traits, it can bring dishonour towards someone which seems to say it's integral to it and is just assumed until proven otherwise.

Dignity I think was what I was initially curious about because it's done for it's own sake. I wondered what others' relationship is to that idea of a dignified act, devoid of honour-seeking motivation. I did expect that we'd all post telling of a lack of dignity and then move on to how it works when there is honour at stake but I'm not sure that this'll tell us anymore than the DSM does

Reaper wrote:

DaturaInnoxia wrote:Do members of this forum find being treated with dignity by others to be important to them?

Dignity is something I feel within myself. I don't need to rely on others to know that I'm worthy of respect, so no. How others treat me is not that important to me because it doesn't change how I feel about myself.

This is as close to how I see it as anyone else has said. Paul

DID so "the twins" want to chip in:

Dignity is a created human concept. It started when people put clothes on. It's used as an idea to control people through the fear of shame. Other peoples negative opinions "oh that's shameful, don't they have any dignity" is conceptualised in the word dignity and used to control society. And it works.

Dignity is about anxiety. "oh no I can't do that because..." Anxiety. "How can they do that..." Projection of shame. It's all BS. The Twins

Aren't you supposed to use different colours?