Are there people you are completely different around?

saucygirl31 wrote:

Sarandipity wrote:I learnt with "normal" people you have to tip toe round them like they are delicate flowers.

...

So you have to tip toe round them like they're delicate flowers or they will pretty much do anything.

you said this twice. was one coming from two different ppl? was paul and the secretary on the same page after he annihilated her? are u close to forcing the merge?

TBH I thought about it. The secutary never occurred to me as anyone of importance. After two days I could see a way she might be of importance but the twins just gave her to me. She's useful in that if I'm doing something else and can't listen to somebody I say "Sue" and she gives a bulk standard answer so all she's useful for is multi tasking. Nice idea though.

And no I tend to start things as I finish them to drive a point home. Having the hypothesis matching the conclusion is usually a good idea when forming an argument. Good guess but no.

Hmmh, perhaps, there are two sides to it, though, yeah I'm a nicer version of myself if the people I'm around are of us to me, or my cause in any significant fashion, interestingly enough I will say that, a albeit very small basis of individuals I do not have a lot of good coming out of for me putting in zero effort myself or, even could prove to be harmful to me in long term, knowing some information that could hurt me. Such an occurrence is rare however and I usually expect back at least an equal level of trust exhibited so that I don't ever feel like I'm exposing myself for no reason?
really it's stupid what do you get out of telling people your secrets? Right, nothing.

Seppy wrote: really it's stupid what do you get out of telling people your secrets? Right, nothing.

The relief of not having to keep secrets?

Aeva117 wrote:
The relief of not having to keep secrets?

Is generally lesser than the possible repercussions. This of course depends on what exactly your secret is, but I digress.

Aeva117 wrote:

Seppy wrote: really it's stupid what do you get out of telling people your secrets? Right, nothing.

The relief of not having to keep secrets?

It's also about personal identity. If you can never be the 'real you' around people then who are you? If you're constantly being someone else to match the environment or fit in then it's like you're constantly making some form of passive apology for being who you are.

justonemoreperson wrote:It's also about personal identity. If you can never be the 'real you' around people then who are you? If you're constantly being someone else to match the environment or fit in then it's like your constantly making some form of passive apology for being who you are.

No it's not. I certainly don't feel like I'm apologizing to anyone for being who I am. It's just common sense to act in the best way that will get your needs and desires met, and since most people aren't too keen on trusting someone with AsPD or psychopathy, naturally one must wear a 'mask' to blend in, to appear normal.

Maybe your 'real you' is very different from mine. The 'real you' in my case doesn't give two shlts about anyone except myself - is selfish and inconsiderate, lacks empathy and compassion, and has no care or concern for your welfare.

Nobody wants to see the 'real you' because the 'real you' is the kind of person most people would despise if they really knew what you're like.

Reaper wrote:No it's not. I certainly don't feel like I'm apologizing to anyone for being who I am. It's just common sense to act in the best way that will get your needs and desires met, and since most people aren't too keen on trusting someone with AsPD or psychopathy, naturally one must wear a 'mask' to blend in, to appear normal.

Maybe your 'real you' is very different from mine. The 'real you' in my case doesn't give two shlts about anyone except myself - is selfish and inconsiderate, lacks empathy and compassion, and has no care or concern for your welfare.

Nobody wants to see the 'real you' because the 'real you' is the kind of person most people would despise if they really knew what you're like.

I often wonder how well these types of traits can really be hidden, I would think they would come out sooner rather than later. Either way those things can have their time and place also like making a tough decision for yourself even when you know it’s going to piss off or hurt people around you.

There is a guy on quora who’s a diagnosed psychopath, he’s British has a psychosis condition as well, forget his name I’ll get it later, but he comes off as legit and doesn’t try to toe the company psychopath line.

His mission on there seems to be to piss all over fake psychopaths that make it sound like a super power rather than a disorder, which I’d imagine is a slap in the cok sucker to anyone who actually has the disorder so I can respect that any whooo. He talks about a few psychos he knew in prison and none of them bothered with any sort of mask of any kind they didn’t give a fuk about that, which is maybe why they are in prison but it’s interesting the way he presents his experiences.

ZeroZ wrote:
I often wonder how well these types of traits can really be hidden, I would think they would come out sooner rather than later. Either way those things can have their time and place also like making a tough decision for yourself even when you know it’s going to piss off or hurt people around you.

They can't; not continuously. You're either going to come across as inconsistent or you're going to be so 'involved' with creating a consistent, false persona that it will condition you to the point where you'll not really know who you are.

This is about dealing with the issues on a day-to-day basis, not picking a response from a drop-down list.

I didn't really see this as the problem it was until I was able to be more myself around my wife. She'd ask me what I thought about certain stuff and it was difficult to break myself out of "what would be the best thing to say here" to "what do I actually think about this."

It was, and still is, difficult to do. I've spent so long being something else to most people that it feels uncomfortable and often hard to identify what I really want.

It is better though, although I admit it's uncomfortable at times.

-- 18 Oct 2019, 10:01 --

ZeroZ wrote:
His mission on there seems to be to piss all over fake psychopaths that make it sound like a super power rather than a disorder

The 'disordered' bits are the bits that f*ck you up; the rest is your personality. Anyone who doesn't want to get rid of stuff that f*cks them over would be a f*cking idiot.

ZeroZ wrote:I often wonder how well these types of traits can really be hidden, I would think they would come out sooner rather than later.

They do come out sooner rather than later, especially around family members when you're younger because you're usually a lot more impulsive at that age, and it's virtually impossible not to slip up at times when you're living with someone.

Putting an act on all the time gets tiring.