Are you an outcast

Thinking about this lately, now and in the past.

Do you feel like an outsider/outcast now?

Do you think other people see you as an outsider/outcast?

What about when you were younger, early childhood or in high school or college/uni?

I’ve never really considered myself an outcast as such, more like I’m just a loner and I just happen to choose friends who are outcasts, because of similar interests. It does raise some questions in my mind how the cause and effect of this whole dynamic really plays out on a sub conscious level. Anyway how about you?

my friends typically are not outcasts. it seems like i am the one who bounces around from clique to clique.

i feel like i get along w pretty much everyone irl, and am good at talking to strangers, so i don't really feel like an outcast.

that said, ppl probably see me as an outcast if they know me more personally, because i choose to isolate a lot when i am not in public.

when i was younger.. idk i always had friends but again when i was home/in my own element i would largely isolate.

i think being social was something i learned (obviously like everyone) but more so because when i was a toddler i was wicked shy. so my natural element is to act like an outsider but no one except close family and friends would see that.

ZeroZ wrote:Thinking about this lately, now and in the past.

Do you feel like an outsider/outcast now?

Do you think other people see you as an outside/outcast?

What about when you were younger, early childhood or in high school or college/uni?

I’ve never really considered myself an outcast as such, more like I’m just a loner and I just happen to choose friends who are outcasts, because of similar interests. It does raise some questions in my mind how the cause and effect of this whole dynamic really plays out on a sub conscious level. Anyway how about you?

I've felt like an outcast/outsider my entire life - both in society and in my own family.

I'm an outcast because I have to put on an act all the time to blend in and I don't feel any bond or connection to others, nor can I relate to other people who experience more emotion than I do (I don't feel anything most of the time). Being an outcast makes me feel alienated and isolated, which leads to anger at times towards society and humanity in general.

I'm an outsider because I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I've been reminded multiple times that I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm so different from them personality-wise. I don't have any issue with that though because I just use them anyway.

This has been a life-long thing for me. There's never been a point in my life where I really felt any different. It's a lonely existence and there are odd moments where I do feel lonely. I don't care for relationships though (at least not on a romantic level anyway), so the feeling of loneliness is pretty rare.

Generally speaking people want to include me but I tend to isolate myself a little more than other people.

vcr asked the other day what it is that people think is 'off' about me that stops me being able to do what I want to. I don't think there is that thing. People are perfectly happy to receive me but I tend to be a little distant.

People know I'm not interested most of the time once they've gotten to know me and that's cool with them. We smoke, get high, go mess around in clubs or play sports or goof around but that's all I really want from them. Stoner conversations and heart-to-hearts aside, they know I'm reserved and I don't need to share, so it's fine. I think most get the sense of talking a lot to me without really getting to know me but the feedback I get is that they want to.

When I was a kid, it was the same. When I was in a group of classmates, people would take my lead but I most of the time just wanted to play football or have some fun and I didn't really care about forming friendships with people. They were just there to play with. My school reports came out quite varied. Some said I was very social and others that I was quiet and thoughtful and then some noticed that my behaviour is 'erratic' depending on my mood (depending on whether I wanna play and explore or I'm good reflecting and chilling with my own thoughts).

With my family I was probably a bit of an outcast when younger. I was kicked out multiple times for the way I acted and was as a kid and I think I'm still held vaguely at arm's length because they know from experience that with prolonged exposure things generally just get bad. I know my mother wishes I saw her more than I do and called me earlier this week asking for me to go see the family. It's a chore more than anything. They probably think I'm the one who doesn't make an effort at this point

-- Fri Sep 27, 2019 2:24 pm --

I'd maybe more readily identify as an outsider than outcast, since the distinction I make in my head between the two is whether it's forced by the group or not.

As an outsider, I fit probably quite well

Not really an outcast. I tend to let people slip away because I don't put in the effort many need to maintain a friendship, but the opportunity is there if I was willing to make more of an effort.

Do you feel like an outsider/outcast now?

At this point in my life it’s obvious to me I’m an outsider and an outcast, I’ve never been married despite my age, came close but it was more like I knew she was going to leave if I didn’t and she eventually did. The idea of making a lifetime commitment to someone seems like Herculean task to me, like in my mind how am I supposed to know how I will feel about them in 5 years 10 years? I honestly don’t understand how people can make this decision.

That and I’m just not interested in most things that people seem to get together to do, a lot of it seems like complete aggravation to me. For example I am a big sports fan but to go through the traffic, the lines to be packed into a stadium like sardine never made sense to me.

Do you think other people see you as an outsider/outcast?

I definitely think so, people have said as much to me, I think it’s uni bomber level of isolation I go into when not at work. My neighbor, before I got to know her told her kids to stay away from me, that stung alittle bit.

What about when you were younger, early childhood or in high school or college/uni?

Early school up till I’d say pre- teen I was a really quiet kid, people took me for shy but I don’t think that’s necessary it, entirely, I just didn’t see any reason to talk to people unless I needed to, I had 2-3 friends and I didn’t want anymore so I saw no need to talk to kids at school, I would play sports with them though, I remember I was put into a special class with a bunch of ‘slow’ kids in like 1st or 2nd grade, I had great test scores and my school work was top of my class but they thought something was wrong with me because I just wasn’t interested in other people and didn’t really express myself much, probably thought I was autistic, but I just took advantage of the lower standards to do practically nothing so they took me out and put me back.

Forgot to add teenage high school years I became very rebellious and lashed out at authority figures, I was kicked out of my primary school and had to go to one for washouts and rejects so I guess that’s pretty much cast out isn’t it

I'm guessing that an 'outcast' should be someone who was cast out; in other words, you need to be ejected from a group other than just deciding that other people weren't worth your time and socially isolating yourself.

By the definition I’d say I have been cast out once or twice but it isn’t the norm, similar to SS I can usually get along with people well enough to be invited included most of the time. Outlier is probably a better word, someone used that here and referred to me as a maverick, I think that sounds cooler but either way.

Do you feel like an outsider/outcast now?

Yes.

Do you think other people see you as an outsider/outcast?

??? I assume they do but sometimes it surprises people how little friends I actually have.

What about when you were younger, early childhood or in high school or college/uni?

Before getting institutionalized I was fine and I'm not just saying that to blame it on something. Now it's a combination of social anxiety and being genuinely disinterested in people who don't know the first thing about people with mental illness that makes it hard to make new friends.

justonemoreperson wrote:I'm guessing that an 'outcast' should be someone who was cast out; in other words, you need to be ejected from a group other than just deciding that other people weren't worth your time and socially isolating yourself.

I see an 'outcast' as someone who has either been rejected by society or would be if people knew the truth about them (for example: a career criminal who has spent their life in and out of prison, and a psychopath would both be outcasts because neither fit into society). You may not be an outcast in the latter if you know how to blend in well, but you can certainly feel like one.