I'm Convinvced I must Be a Sociopath

I am 18 and I feel few legitimate emotions: every aspect of existence only teasing what I could imagine is the part of me that supposed to produce joy or sadness. That part of me doesn't exist, and in its place is a shell of a what should be human, but isn't. I have never felt true love, I think, and any relationship I have or ever had was out of pure manipulation to my benefit of entertainment (mostly). I prefer to be alone, frequently and fluently faking real emotion so that I can appease the people around me. My intense thoughts or desires keep myself company, and I have had some intense thoughts -- hurting something breathing isn't a foreign thought to me, though I never act on it out of fear I'll get caught. The weird thing is that it doesn't scare me, and sometimes I feel superior to the people I surround myself with -- as if at any moment I could break free from my flesh prison and become God. This narcissism is temporary.

I don't have much history, or at least none that would be important here: my parents separated at an early age, but I was loved regardless. Nothing caused me to be this way, and it has only gotten more severe over the years. I feel like any humanity I had is lost, and now I drift through life as an alien. Film, Music, and other forms of art are the only thing I have amusement and genuine care for.

I want feedback. Anything would be appreciated.

Well,... wouldn't it be better to talk with a psychologist for a diagnosis?
We could be misguided by your self-image and people here can't know you as much as in real life...

Nobody expects you to have felt real love at 18

You sound pretty normal to me. I wouldn't dwell too much on the negatives.

Find something you're good at and don't worry about anything else.

This is the simplest definition you will ever hear.

Sociopaths maintain success in their environments. Albeit disastrous to themselves and others.

Psychopaths are totally unsuccessful at most things they attempt.


ASPDs, well, that's where you need to decide whether you subscribe to traditional simple definitions above, or American DSM modern standards, or World DSM standards.

You decide. I highly doubt any doctor will diagnose you these unless you really truly want it.


Feeling superior has more to do with Ego Centrism vs Ego Mania.

MrThetaBeta wrote:This is the simplest definition you will ever hear.

Sociopaths maintain success in their environments. Albeit disastrous to themselves and others.

Psychopaths are totally unsuccessful at most things they attempt.

I thought it was the other way around. I'm sure I've read that it is sociopaths who mess up their lives because they are more emotionally unstable and have very poor impulse control whereas psychopaths are cool, calm and collected.

CoffinKid wrote:I am 18 and I feel few legitimate emotions: every aspect of existence only teasing what I could imagine is the part of me that supposed to produce joy or sadness. That part of me doesn't exist, and in its place is a shell of a what should be human, but isn't. I have never felt true love, I think, and any relationship I have or ever had was out of pure manipulation to my benefit of entertainment (mostly). I prefer to be alone, frequently and fluently faking real emotion so that I can appease the people around me. My intense thoughts or desires keep myself company, and I have had some intense thoughts -- hurting something breathing isn't a foreign thought to me, though I never act on it out of fear I'll get caught. The weird thing is that it doesn't scare me, and sometimes I feel superior to the people I surround myself with -- as if at any moment I could break free from my flesh prison and become God. This narcissism is temporary.

I don't have much history, or at least none that would be important here: my parents separated at an early age, but I was loved regardless. Nothing caused me to be this way, and it has only gotten more severe over the years. I feel like any humanity I had is lost, and now I drift through life as an alien. Film, Music, and other forms of art are the only thing I have amusement and genuine care for.

I want feedback. Anything would be appreciated.

Seems scripted.

As an aside, somebody at work said 'I actually think I might be a psychopath' aloud to somebody mid-conversation this week. It's funnier than reading it on the forum. Didn't realise this exists outside the niche part of the web we're on

solemnlysworn wrote:As an aside, somebody at work said 'I actually think I might be a psychopath' aloud to somebody mid-conversation this week. It's funnier than reading it on the forum. Didn't realise this exists outside the niche part of the web we're on

Haha...that's funny because we had a funny little psychopathic conversation in our kitchen at work this morning.

It was about how when people get behind the wheel of a car they turn into psychopaths. My colleague said that she definitely does-I can believe that to be fair.

solemnlysworn wrote:As an aside, somebody at work said 'I actually think I might be a psychopath' aloud to somebody mid-conversation this week. It's funnier than reading it on the forum. Didn't realise this exists outside the niche part of the web we're on

I've had someone tell me that they're a psychopath and they seemed to genuinely lack a conscience.