Do you even care?

That’s true. I think people also have an intuitive sense of that as well. If I say I’m empty or shut off when people ask why I’m the way I am, they generally are more forgiving than if I say go Bateman and say “I simply am not there.”

Why were you using, cs?

I only care when there's some benefit to my self-interest. If you don't benefit me in some way, I don't care about you.

With my daughter I see my care for her as more a type of narcissistic entitlement. She's like a mirror in a way. When I look at her I see aspects of myself, but because she's not me, she's also my property. I feel like I own her and I care about what's mine, just like I care about my computer and my furniture etc.

Reaper wrote:I only care when there's some benefit to my self-interest. If you don't benefit me in some way, I don't care about you.

With my daughter I see my care for her as more like narcissistic entitlement. She's like a mirror in a way. When I look at her I see aspects of myself, but because she's not me, she's also my property. I feel like I own her and I care about what's mine, just like I care about my computer and my furniture etc.

hello

mr donuts said that loving others is a reflection of loving yourself

you say you have never felt love, so i am curious if you think you love yourself?

if yes, what do you mean by "love"?

if no, what do you mean by "care"?

Might be useful seeing it as a faux dilemma. Pinker sort of gave an answer in an interview once - most people are good natural psychologists and can tell when you’re only doing something for them to benefit yourself, when you aren’t being properly selfless. It’s possible to cover that with layers of deception and what not, but your meta-situation will usually give things away to anyone moderately perceptive about things.

If you’re more alone or lonely than you believe to be fair, it might just mean you’re more selfish than you’ve so far admitted to yourself; and if you already know how selfish you are, there’s as much use debating the motivations behind caring about others, as debating whether some foreign currency is better earned nefariously or as an upstanding citizen.

I think most people form symbiotic relationships to a large extent. Things can be more fulfilling when both benefit from something possessed by the other but lacking in themselves.

Grooming your girlfriend to your own satisfaction will only keep her happy insofar as she’s ignorant, insofar as she’s dumber than you. Perhaps the real disorder there is a willingness to live as far from personal exposure as possible, keeping your respective doll house within its pristine specification, content in the knowledge that your isolation belongs to a supremacy that’ll never be meaningfully challenged by anyone, so on and so forth.

If a perceptive wall like that doesn’t get a reality check, you’re just asking if we care about objects of potential utility to ourselves. Mixing the two lines of thinking, humanist and narcissist, makes it more complicated than it needs to be.

Fool wrote:mr donuts said that loving others is a reflection of loving yourself

you say you have never felt love, so i am curious if you think you love yourself?

I'm not sure I understand what love is to really answer that question. I don't hate myself I know that much. I like myself a lot, but love? That's an answer I can't give.

if yes, what do you mean by "love"?

if no, what do you mean by "care"?

There's a difference between loving something and caring about it.

I care about my computer, but I don't have an emotional attachment to it. I care about it in the sense that I do what I need to do with it to keep it working. That's how I see my relationship with my daughter. I care about her in a similar way. She's kind of like a working computer to me. She's something I need to care about in order to benefit from it.

Reaper wrote:

Fool wrote:mr donuts said that loving others is a reflection of loving yourself

you say you have never felt love, so i am curious if you think you love yourself?

I'm not sure I understand what love is to really answer that question. I don't hate myself I know that much. I like myself a lot, but love? That's an answer I can't give.

if yes, what do you mean by "love"?

if no, what do you mean by "care"?

There's a difference between loving something and caring about it.

I care about my computer, but I don't have an emotional attachment to it. I care about it in the sense that I do what I need to do with it to keep it working. That's how I see my relationship with my daughter. I care about her in a similar way. She's kind of like a working computer to me. She's something I need to care about in order to benefit from it.

good explanation, thanks!

solemnlysworn wrote:
Why were you using, cs?

The nothings.

I have gotten the BPD hollowness before but only when I have been infatuated with someone. When I chase, I feel raw and when I get them I feel empty. Push them away, rinse and repeat. It became a high of its own so I tended not to use my DOC (drug of choice) when I was in that cycle. I posted something on the Schizoid forum a while ago about how I dislike not getting infatuated more often and since then have realised I am craving that particular high or emotional amplitude.

How do I stop the incessant buzzing by email every time there’s a reply to a thread I’ve posted on on here?

Replies in the morning ~~

solemnlysworn wrote:How do I stop the incessant buzzing by email every time there’s a reply to a thread I’ve posted on on here?

Replies in the morning ~~

Go into your User Control Panel and tick or untick notifications somewhere in there. There's a link to the User Control Panel near the top left corner of the page in the subheading area.

Just put it on your willy and the buzzes will be put to use.
Here's another buzz for you.