Sorrow and Depression

How are these feelings experienced, handled, and what produces them? Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

I tend to have the physical effects more than the emotional. I will tend to isolate more and sleep a lot more. I also have thought of suicide buts it’s not like I think about doing it, I’ve been around too long for that more like when am I finally going to drop dead already.

Siegfried wrote:How are these feelings experienced, handled, and what produces them? Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

This is right up my alley and, as luck would have it, timely. I suffer from bi-polar depression, on the daily and it is pretty severe at times. My problem is that I let it rule my life. I act like an idiot, blame my issues on other people, do things that are against my core nature, lie a LOT, cause people I care about or who try to help me profound pain, make the same mistakes over and over, I'm lazy and procrastinate on most everything, etc. There is also a lot of anger, self-pity and entitlement. I've had years of therapy and more help and support than I deserve from amazing friends and family. I just never do my part and eventually run everyone off. I'm pretty good while taking my meds, but then I'll get the idea that I don't need the meds anymore and stop taking them. Then everything turns to $#%^, and over and over. The worst thing is, while all of this is happening, I am fully aware of the proper behavior, yet I still behave like a schlemiel. Stay tuned...

Sad movies don't affect me much, unless it's about an animal, though there can be parts of a movie that will hit me hard. I can't watch movies where genuinely good parents are depicted; those movies can trigger a severe emotional reaction, probably jealousy. Sad music, on the other hand, can bring me to my knees pretty quickly.

I also have acute BPD, the two, together, are a lot to deal with. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. Again, all this does not excuse my poor behavior, to any degree.

Siegfried wrote:How are these feelings experienced, handled

Endurance.

what produces them?

For me, that's a good question. Other than anger, I'm generally non-reactive. There are the obvious answers: some sort of loss or personal tragedy, I suppose. I know that an overabundance of stress/anxiety can result in depression for me but I'm not if sure that goes for a lot of people.

Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

Music only affects me positively. I never understood the concept of "sad music".

Probably one reason I like movies so much is that I can experience emotions that I otherwise have difficulty with, like sadness and empathy. The beauty in that is that it's felt remotely; once the film is over the feelings vanish.

Books are a little different because if they're well written, the sadness can stick with me longer. I guess this is because movies are more manipulative, whereas with books, you are able to get deeper and have the time to apply your own sensibilities to the characters and situations.

I remember years ago reading "Requiem for a Dream" and it bummed me out for over a week. Poor Mrs. Goldfarb.

Movies, music etc do not affect me emotionally whatsoever.

naps wrote:
Music only affects me positively. I never understood the concept of "sad music".

omg i think i feel deeper the sad music than the happy.
i don't know how to explain this like it is more intense and whatever it is more intense gives me more high emotionally.it is very difficutlt to explain.seems really strange the way i wrote it. eh..
i like happy music ,there is no rule without exceptions but often it has reversed result in my mood.instead of lifting my mood and feeling happy, i feel jealous and more sad or angry for some hapiness i can't have.
while sad music makes me feel less alone.
if i find the right music the right time and mood it almosts feels like catharsis or attraction and other stuff.
other times is just fun to pass time,other times is just bland.it is not standard feeling

-- Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:19 am --

..so you can say it does affect me positively too, although sad i guess

LeelaTuranga wrote:

naps wrote:
Music only affects me positively. I never understood the concept of "sad music".

omg i think i feel deeper the sad music than the happy.
i don't know how to explain this like it is more intense and whatever it is more intense gives me more high emotionally.it is very difficutlt to explain.seems really strange the way i wrote it. eh..
i like happy music ,there is no rule without exceptions but often it has reversed result in my mood.instead of lifting my mood and feeling happy, i feel jealous and more sad or angry for some hapiness i can't have.
while sad music makes me feel less alone.
if i find the right music the right time and mood it almosts feels like catharsis or attraction and other stuff.
other times is just fun to pass time,other times is just bland.it is not standard feeling

-- Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:19 am --

..so you can say it does affect me positively too, although sad i guess

IKTF we are musically bipolar hahaha

it may be that we just are more sensitive to sad feelings who knows

Siegfried wrote:How are these feelings experienced, handled, and what produces them?

The worse it is the more often I dissociate so I don't remember well what it feels like afterwards. From what I remember happens and from what other people told me I either become reckless, get into fights with people, self-harm and overdose, whine a lot and generally create drama over nothing or stay inside and sleep a lot while ignoring everything except whatever tries to disturb that. I don't know why. Trying to find out turns into a chicken/egg problem, did I get depressed first and is that why things seemed depressing or were they actually depressing? I can feel it coming so I don't think or care about that too much anymore.

Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

I'm too distracted by the idea it clearly wants to make me feel sad, like how sitcom laughter makes something immediately unfunny. Maybe I watched the wrong movies. The only movies that have made me sad were all horror and weren't even supposed to be that sad.

Siegfried wrote:How are these feelings experienced, handled, and what produces them?

I’ve been told I don’t use the terms depression and anxiety correctly.

What I describe as depression is either more akin to agitation and resembles an urgent sense of aggressive dissatisfaction coupled with an energy that just has to go somewhere. Also a sense that my social role is no longer sustainable.

The other experiance which I use the term for is the stress generated by overcomming the internal psychological resistance to doing something I’ve lost interest in which is both a common and extremely draining experience .

The former is more serious than the later but both are indicative of rising internal aggression and alienation and that my perspective is getting increasingly distorted towards the misanthropic. I counter this by doing something which gets me away from other people and back in contact with nature/my own mortality and with a constant stream of short term relationships.

If by handling you mean how I overcome it to get the job done, I engage in a lot of negative self talk to try to generate some anger or anxiety. If I can get myself engaged with whatever i’m doing as either conflict or threat and channel some aggression into it I can keep at it for a while. Sometimes I try to talk myself into believing what I’m doing has some greater purpose but that’s rarely as effective.

Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

Well I remember being sad when they hang goeth at the end of schindler’s list
Honestly nothing else springs to mind.

Sad music I often find relaxing. Sad movies either irritate, repulse or bore. When forced to watch them I’m often left wondering why anyone would want to watch that and suspecting that I’m missing something. For the most part however I don’t favour that kind of media.

Siegfried wrote:How are these feelings experienced, handled, and what produces them?

I experience self-pity at times feeling like the whole world is against me (even though I know realistically it's not. It just feels that way). Fortunately, it never lasts long. It might last an hour or so, or less, and then I'm over it.

Also, how does sad music, movies etc affect you?

Sad movies don't normally affect me. I wouldn't say they never do though. There have been a rare few over the years that hit a soft spot. That usually only happens if it's a scene I can relate to in some way.

I'm not really sure what defines 'sad music'. Music that's connected to a sad scene in a movie I guess?

It doesn't affect me.