Were you bullied?

People who make a habit of bullying are looking for validation beyond what they have inside. It's a form or revenge for things that have happened to them.

That doesn't mean that bullying someone has to be that; it could be an isolated incident or series of incidents done for other reasons, such as an intense dislike for the individual.

It's the habit of bullying that demonstrates the weakness.

I wasn't bullied and I can't say that I bullied. I fought a lot but it wasn't aimed at a particular group.

Reaper wrote:

Squaredonutwheels wrote:

Reaper wrote:Bullying has nothing to do with a pecking order. I've seen people get bullied for the most stupid of reasons.

Not in most cases it's not.

I've bullied people simply because I was bored (that's one reason anyway), how was that justifiable?

You can try imagine away, or dismiss, a hierarchy that you can't see and failed to navigate as not existing or stupid, but it only exposes how badly you ostracized you must have been and now resort to blinding yourself now so are not faced with the painful reality of your lack of choices that lead up to your current half existence.

I'm not sure why you got so defensive there. You get offended pretty easily, huh.

So, a kid getting bullied simply for having a different accent is lower on the heirarchy than a bully with low self-esteem?

Explain to me how that works.

I'll assume you're asking me to justify bullying out of boredom for you so you can scavenge the response and wear it like a little dress.

No, my point was it can't be justified at all.

By the way, if I bully you out of boredom where does that put me on the hierarchy? Higher than you, right?

You're "not sure", because I'm not offended by you Jim. Angry in general yes, but not by what you say. I'll assume that that calculated retort stung a little because now you assume defensiveness because you project that onto me. That is why you're not sure. You're not sure if I'm someone who gets offended easily by you, or I'm just poking you because I can. I don't think you can understand the difference though Jim.

Hierarchies have a hazing period for new members. It is how they know where they slot in. New kid get hazed. What he gets hazed about is anything. Just happens to have a lisp or an accent. Anything to find his place and his group. Big deal. It's f$$king obvious.

Yeah if you bully me, Jim, you'd be up there in the ASPD forum hierarchy above me, correcting me for my mistakes and my inability to justify what you believe to be unjustifiable.

That's fitting name for you Jim. From now on when you try to engage me Ima address you as Jim.
Jim Reaper the very dangerous and very righteous.

-- Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:07 am --

justonemoreperson wrote:People who make a habit of bullying are looking for validation beyond what they have inside. It's a form or revenge for things that have happened to them.

That doesn't mean that bullying someone has to be that; it could be an isolated incident or series of incidents done for other reasons, such as an intense dislike for the individual.

It's the habit of bullying that demonstrates the weakness.

I wasn't bullied and I can't say that I bullied. I fought a lot but it wasn't aimed at a particular group.

Pretty much my situation. I'm getting quite bitter that I can't just leave the house and my frustrations mean I take it out by typing away furiously. It's not aimed at anyone in particular, just whatever nail that comes in my way I want to BANG it down. It's hard to describe.

It's my own bad decision making that made me end up here and I am insecure about it and taking out the rage on some characters on the screen is my impotent way of throwing a redfaced tantrum. It's weak and it makes it worse because it's so obvious. The new arrows arrived today, but I still can't move well enough to go outside and test them. So here I am pathetically shooting imaginary arrows at imaginary bums like Jim. An easy target I know, but it's the one that presented itself and I didn't resist.

Squaredonutwheels wrote:I'll assume that that calculated retort stung a little because now you assume defensiveness because you project that onto me.

There was no projection, lol. You literally got defensive for no reason as far as I could tell. Anybody would think that my comment about bullies having low self-esteem was directly aimed at you with your response to it. Funny that.

You're not sure if I'm someone who gets offended easily by you

No, I'm very certain about that since you just proved it.

Hierarchies have a hazing period for new members. It is how they know where they slot in. New kid get hazed. What he gets hazed about is anything.

What were you 'hazed' about?

Yeah if you bully me, Jim, you'd be up there in the ASPD forum hierarchy above me

I already am...

i was bullied by only one person and he stopped bullying me because id verbally humiliate him during the bullying

Often bullies see something in their victim that they also secretly see in themselves. It's an attempt to purge their self-perceived negative traits/thoughts by punishing others who they interpret as displaying them proudly.

It can also be a way to displace the pain of bullying they have experienced themselves, often by a parent or sibling or authority figure.

Yes, but I also was a bully too.

I was an artsy, eccentric little kid back in junior high (4'11). Although I was exempted from physical ed, have been known to prefer the library than socialize and read way too much about serious stuff, I was quite well liked and popular at school. However, my then undiagnosed PD fully manifested and I destroyed almost all of my friendships in senior high. They then isolated me from the rest of the school. Although not everyone believed/agreed with them, most didn't want to be associated with me for fear of being targetted.

For a while, I didn't mind for I believed that I deserved their ire for I did hurt them when I pushed them away. But of course, I eventually snapped, retaliated and then became the bully. I became out of control and I hurt so many of my classmates not just emotionally but also physically (I once made a 6'1 male classmate cry ). It didn't last long though for I soon was disgusted with my behaviour.

Unfortunately, my teachers never did punish me. I was a well performing student with "multiple potentials" and a promising future. Didn't hurt that to have financially- and socially well connected parents too so all I got was several pep talks whenever I would act out. The special treatment then exacerbated my classmates' hostility towards me, and with me no longer wanting to fight back, I became a willing target for them.

It was likely the worst in 1st grade when some of the older kids threw rocks at me during lunch periods for the way I pronounced certain words (British accent in Canada). It was probably annoying to them so I understand why they did it, but I didn't like it very much. One day I hid and waited until the ring leader went to the top of the slide during recess, then I pushed her off in front of everyone when the teachers weren't looking. She lost a tooth and bled a lot from her mouth and her knees, elbows, face, etc. It looked pretty gross (but she was fine). No one really bothered me after that...until I changed schools.

Cerpyra wrote:It was likely the worst in 1st grade when some of the older kids threw rocks at me during lunch periods for the way I pronounced certain words (British accent in Canada). It was probably annoying to them so I understand why they did it, but I didn't like it very much. One day I hid and waited until the ring leader went to the top of the slide during recess, then I pushed her off in front of everyone when the teachers weren't looking. She lost a tooth and bled a lot from her mouth and her knees, elbows, face, etc. It looked pretty gross (but she was fine). No one really bothered me after that...until I changed schools.

What did you say, and how did you behave when the teachers and parents asked what happened?

Squaredonutwheels wrote:

Cerpyra wrote:It was likely the worst in 1st grade when some of the older kids threw rocks at me during lunch periods for the way I pronounced certain words (British accent in Canada). It was probably annoying to them so I understand why they did it, but I didn't like it very much. One day I hid and waited until the ring leader went to the top of the slide during recess, then I pushed her off in front of everyone when the teachers weren't looking. She lost a tooth and bled a lot from her mouth and her knees, elbows, face, etc. It looked pretty gross (but she was fine). No one really bothered me after that...until I changed schools.

What did you say, and how did you behave when the teachers and parents asked what happened?

I acted like an informed bystander. There was enough time for me to physically distance myself between the push and the screams, so it wasn't really an issue. My parents know, but they never ratted me out. I think most of the kids were too scared to say anything, and the ones who did looked really stupid because I gave my statement to teachers from across the playground.

When I was in year 1, I hurt another child quite badly. It wasn't on purpose and it wasn't bullying, we were just playing a game. Anyway, after that my family home schooled me. Every now and then they would put me back into public school only to pull me out a few months later due to concerns that I would become violent again. I only really fully completed 6th form in a classroom.

I think they also kept me away because my father is quite secretive about what goes on in our house.