Getting the Feels for Women

Can't seem to feel anything with women. Nothing. It used to be intense infatuation with lots of lust and thrills. But now I'm dead cold like a shark. I can be very charming and get laid like a rabbit. But no feels. Just cold and calculated. My psychotherapist was puzzled by my take on a recent budding "relationship". It's like I can just plan things out and say charming things. I can get laid and enjoy that aspect but no real connection.

How's your love life if we can call it that?

CopyCat27 wrote:How's your love life if we can call it that?

What love life. I personally find relationships tedious. I only get into them when it's necessary to get what I want off someone and only if I need to to keep getting what I want. I don't care for love and all that emotional crap that goes with it. I don;t get into relationships for emotional reasons, only material ones.

I've never experienced intense infatuation for anyone.

CopyCat27 wrote:Can't seem to feel anything with women. Nothing. It used to be intense infatuation with lots of lust and thrills. But now I'm dead cold like a shark. I can be very charming and get laid like a rabbit. But no feels. Just cold and calculated. My psychotherapist was puzzled by my take on a recent budding "relationship". It's like I can just plan things out and say charming things. I can get laid and enjoy that aspect but no real connection.

Perhaps the reason you can't enjoy courtship anymore is because you're so eager to get to the sex.

I enjoy sex a lot like almost to the point of addiction.. That's the closest connection I could feel for a woman.

CopyCat27 wrote:Can't seem to feel anything with women. Nothing. It used to be intense infatuation with lots of lust and thrills. But now I'm dead cold like a shark.

Did you find that the infatuation was never reciprocated to the same extent that you showed it?

It might account for why you eventually became numb to it; as you could not get the response you required, to the same degree.

justonemoreperson wrote:

CopyCat27 wrote:Can't seem to feel anything with women. Nothing. It used to be intense infatuation with lots of lust and thrills. But now I'm dead cold like a shark.

Did you find that the infatuation was never reciprocated to the same extent that you showed it?

It might account for why you eventually became numb to it; as you could not get the response you required, to the same degree.

My ex had psychopathic traits but she was also infatuated with me. We had wild sex all the time but when it came to intimacy it wasn't working. The infatuation was there on both sides for sure but it waned over time. But it was never really love. It was more sexual in nature is what I mean by infatuation.

CopyCat27 wrote:How's your love life if we can call it that?

My girls all come from the internet. And i love them dearly.

Back when i was a player in high school and college, i was almost never without a girl friend. I liked relationships, because mine were always fairly one-sided and i was able to exert my control over someone which is what i live for.

I said "I love you" to about eight of them - to this day i don't know if it was true. But i definitely liked those eight better than the rest, so let's call it love. Why not?

I loved them. As disposable functioning objects.

Not sure about true love, I definitely felt something for a few and it was mostly early in the relationship. Then I start to feel like they are becoming a lot of work and almost becoming a burden but I like what we have enough to keep it going... Fast forward a few months and I can no longer stand them anymore and despite my attempts to hide this fact it becomes increasingly obvious and this is where everything unravels.

So I do have have feelings early in the relationship but as it’s been explained to me this isn’t true love, true love is built over time and it’s a permanent bond between two people through sharing life experiences. In that definition, no I have never been in love. I have felt emotions for the women I have been with but whatever it was wasn’t love I guess. It’s possible I just haven’t met the right one yet. It’s also possible I have some sort of emotional defect, or maybe it’s a defense mechanism from abandonment, sort of BPDish? I don’t really know

What you say is very much in line with aspd. If you read about aspd, they say that the people suffering from it can only feel infatuation or obsession with the love object, not genuine love. So it goes without saying that your emotions are restricted and they are not the same as what most people refer to as feelings.

My ex once compared me to Jake Gyllenhaal from that movie where he plays a psycho. Can't remember the name and can't be bothered to look it up. It's worth watching to be honest. See how he tries to relate to the lady he wants to ###$.

Nightcrawler.