Navigating life with ASPD

New to the forum. I've known for a while that I had some form of ASPD. I'm sure all of you have plenty of stories and perspectives on your own life with ASPD... I have some of my own, with one of a time where a friend found out I was a sociopath as she called it and tried to convince others that I was one. I am fascinated by how others maneuvered through life with ASPD and want to know if others had similar experiences and how they came about/ended. How did you play your cards given your more removed sense of conscience and other antisocial behaviors?

One of the things that has really stood out in my life with AsPD are all the verbal and physical fights I've been in. There was a lot of that in real life before I was introduced to the internet, then most of the fighting went online and because you can't physically fight anyone online, all you can do is intimidate them with threats of violence (and occasionally hope something comes of it). I know people think that's stupid, but when you're an aggressive person you want to be aggressive. You also want people to know you're not gonna be fuked with.

It's about respect, and there's a certain pleasure in fighting that some people just don't get.

Mendax wrote:New to the forum. I've known for a while that I had some form of ASPD. I'm sure all of you have plenty of stories and perspectives on your own life with ASPD... I have some of my own, with one of a time where a friend found out I was a sociopath as she called it and tried to convince others that I was one. I am fascinated by how others maneuvered through life with ASPD and want to know if others had similar experiences and how they came about/ended. How did you play your cards given your more removed sense of conscience and other antisocial behaviors?

I think the word sociopath and narcissist get thrown around because they are internet buzz words for every assh@le and bad relationship anyone has ever been in. What sort of behavior are the telling you that is sociopathic? What sorts of things do you do to your friends?

ZombieZ wrote:I think the word sociopath and narcissist get thrown around because they are internet buzz words for every assh@le and bad relationship anyone has ever been in. What sort of behavior are the telling you that is sociopathic? What sorts of things do you do to your friends?

God, it’s weird to talk about this with people... for your first comment, I think she just called me a sociopath because she wouldn’t think to use Antisocial Personality Disorder. In terms of my friendships with people though, I largely base them on who can provide me with the most clear advantage. An example being emotionally damaged people who control their anxiety through schoolwork (I can rely on them developing dependent relationships with me and I can in turn profit off their work). In her case, she was severely emotionally reliant and didn’t enjoy the detached personality that occurred after removing the mask. It was because of the manipulation, lying, and apathy that she started talking to her therapist about and they both began to think “psychopath.” Her history of mental illness did create a platform for me to deflect the accusations. I just cut her out after she became uncooperative.

Mendax wrote:I have some of my own, with one of a time where a friend found out I was a sociopath as she called it and tried to convince others that I was one.

How did she find out? Or was it her own conclusion? If so, what made her come to that conclusion?

Mendax wrote:I am fascinated by how others maneuvered through life with ASPD and want to know if others had similar experiences and how they came about/ended. How did you play your cards given your more removed sense of conscience and other antisocial behaviors?

It hasn't impacted me *that* significantly. I'm smart enough to know how to behave in each situation. It impacted me more when I was younger... teenage years when I was in and out of jail, had multiple criminal charges.

I don't go around me aggressive or rude to people. I used to love to play games with people for my own lolz.. but I've largely outgrown that. Now.. it's more of a "Don't give me a reason to... and I'm not going to" type of thing.

Reaper wrote:It's about respect

I respect that I don't respect you. I respect your commitment to your character though.

Sturm88 wrote:

Reaper wrote:It's about respect

I respect that I don't respect you. I respect your commitment to your character though.

Yo bitch, why you not respecting me?

I'm gonna have to beat some respect into you. Lucky for you we're on the internet though, huh...

I don't respect you either.

Mendax wrote:New to the forum. I've known for a while that I had some form of ASPD. I'm sure all of you have plenty of stories and perspectives on your own life with ASPD... I have some of my own, with one of a time where a friend found out I was a sociopath as she called it and tried to convince others that I was one. I am fascinated by how others maneuvered through life with ASPD and want to know if others had similar experiences and how they came about/ended. How did you play your cards given your more removed sense of conscience and other antisocial behaviors?

I struggled until my early 20s. Ended up in psych wards too many times, should have gone to prison a few separate times but got myself thrown into psychiatric care instead which nullifies potential criminal charges where I live. I abused drugs of all sorts from age 14 into my early 20s though and looking back now, that was a large part of my problem. I probably would have had a much easier time if I'd stayed away from them, but I can't ever really know for sure in that regard.

For a long time I viewed ASPD as a disability of sorts, in that it was painfully obvious to me that I was not like most people, and was in fact seemingly missing out on a lot of things in life that others seemed to derive pleasure from etc. Then I hit my teen years and ASPD became the "cool thing" I used to try and identify myself under, you know during those years when you're trying to figure out who and what you are. Personality disorders tend to become very problematic when the individual self-identifies as the disorder, I can personally attest to that. Then eventually I got to a point where I had to either stop blaming my choices and behaviours on some diagnosis that some random shrink decided fit me and accept responsibility for my life and behaviors, or I was going to end up in prison or dead, and time was running out quickly the way I was going. Obviously I chose to accept responsibility for my life and now live a life of luxury and freedom I never thought possible while lost in drugs and the lifestyle I used to lead.

With that said, I did things and got away with things I never would have been able to had I not had ASPD. To this day, I feel it allows me an ease in life that other people don't have. I have incredibly good luck, I can admit that, but I'm also good at making the most out of what I have. I used the traits that fall into the ASPD category to further myself in almost every situation i've been in and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Now a-days I don't really self identify as a person with ASPD because it no longer hinders me in any way shape or form. I wouldn't qualify for the diagnosis anymore, I've learned to colour within the lines. I've learned to live with the way I am and have managed to turn all potential negatives into positives. I am capable of doing anything I want today because I learned to separate myself from the diagnosis and take what was useful and leave what wasn't.

If you're an individual who's even slightly on the ASPD scale, you have the potential to do things "normal" people can only dream of. You're not inhibited by emotions, or connections to people, or guilt, or remorse. You can quite literally do whatever you want, assuming you have self control and good self awareness as to know you limits in all areas of life. Become a cop, or an EMT, join the military or pursue a medical profession of any kind where death is a part of your job. Go into business, play the stock markets.. Those are only a small example of the possible avenues for career choices where an individual with ASPD has a distinct advantage over those who do not and who are bound by their emotions and connections with others.

Navigating life is easy once you learn to control yourself, and ASPD does not make self control unattainable.

^Do you think that there's a positive side for all personality disorders?

Sturm88 wrote:I respect your commitment to your character though.

I meant to address this earlier. What do you mean by "commitment to your character"?

I have a pretty good idea what you mean by that, but I'd like to see what your definition of 'character' is.

The_Essentials wrote:You can quite literally do whatever you want, assuming you have self control and good self awareness as to know you limits in all areas of life.

That's an area I struggle with - knowing my limits. I have a tendency to not only push other people's limits but also my own. I develop this sense of over-confidence that makes me feel like I'm ten foot tall and made of steel. It's what has gotten me into trouble in the past and will probably get me into more serious trouble in the future because the limits I keep pushing are dangerous ones.

I'm either going to get myself killed or end up in prison.

You should probably try to have a more optimistic outlook so you don't end up miserable in prison or hurting other people.