Childhood Animal Abuse

Reaper wrote:Is that all you did to her or did you do other cruel things to her as well?

No.. you want my resume of 'badassery'?

I was never amused by the things I did to her or had her do. It was all just curiosity and wanting to be near the reaction to understand it. I've never gotten any joy or pleasure from hurting anyone. Well.. maybe a few times.. I have to keep myself reigned in, I don't feed thoughts like that.. I redirect them.

As a child.. other things I did to her included taping her up in our attic and leaving her there.. only because she was annoying me, and I was left to babysit her. I don't see that as anything abnormal though.

I had her touch a hot wood stove about 3 years after her burns. I tried to drown her at the beach when I was approximately 10, but my mom caught me and sent me to stay with my Dad for a couple of months. I know there were several other little things, I honestly don't remember more than that.

I don't feel bad about any of it and I'm sure if I could turn back time I'd do it all again... I think they were experiences I needed.

Unlike you.. I was never physically abusive, unless you count burns as that.. I guess I mean.. never the hitting/kicking etc type.

-- Mon Jul 30, 2018 4:25 pm --

Reaper wrote:Not even personal amusement?

Nope..

Sturm88 wrote:It was all just curiosity and wanting to be near the reaction to understand it.

Surely you already knew your sister would be in pain when she got burned on the stove. So, what did you need to understand?

(Though at that young age you probably didn't)

Death fascinated me as a kid. Not so much death itself, but the process of dying. I liked killing things and watching them die. I think part of the fascination was the mild pleasure I got from it, knowing I had ended the life of something with my own hands.

Reaper wrote:Surely you already knew your sister would be in pain when she got burned on the stove. So, what did you need to understand?

Exactly why I did it.. it would lead to pain, which was the first clear and distinct emotional reaction I remember noticing... it's a lot more exaggerated than other emotional reactions.. so was easy to pick up on. My guess for my I went for that as a child.

It was the emotion I wanted to be close to and understand, to me it was like watching a mime or something.. completely foreign and hard to understand.. hence needing to elicit any type of emotional reactions that I could.

Reaper wrote:Death fascinated me as a kid. Not so much death itself, but the process of dying. I liked killing things and watching them die. I think part of the fascination was the mild pleasure I got from it, knowing I had ended the life of something with my own hands.

Death is fascinating.. I enjoyed watching injects slowly die as a kid.