The mask doesn’t seem to work for me

I was going to suggest to the op to just try being yourself. I wear a mask sometimes, or as I like to call it acting socially acceptable. I don’t do it to be deceptive I do it because I feel like my true self won’t be accepted by society so I put on an act. It’s draining and takes a lot of my energy from me, this might have something to do with something completely different than a personality disorder, who knows but I do it none the less. I have to be very comfortable with people to let me entire personality out

ZombieZ wrote:I was going to suggest to the op to just try being yourself. I wear a mask sometimes, or as I like to call it acting socially acceptable. I don’t do it to be deceptive I do it because I feel like my true self won’t be accepted by society so I put on an act. It’s draining and takes a lot of my energy from me, this might have something to do with something completely different than a personality disorder, who knows but I do it none the less. I have to be very comfortable with people to let me entire personality out

You can't really be "yourself" because: what does that mean? What it means is that you react to whatever you're faced with the way your experience and intelligence is suggesting. To that end, being yourself requires you to manipulate and be whatever you need to be to get what you want. It just doesn't feel like you're manipulating and scheming because it's natural; it's being yourself.

Personally, rather than trying to work out how to manipulate something, I tend to try to focus on what my objective is. If my objective is to get someone to do something for me, I usually find that my experience and intelligence makes me do what's needed.

It won't feel like manipulation because it's just what I do in that situation.

Focusing on objectives is far more useful than wondering what the f*ck you should be doing.

It's like trying to hammer in a nail. If you concentrate on where to hold the hammer and how far to swing it, you'll probably break your thumb. If you focus on hitting the nail, you'll naturally hold and swing the hammer the correct amount.

I never think of myself as having a mask until someone tells me what they think of me and then I'm quite open in telling them that its just a facade...

Everyday people say “put my work hat on” or “game face” or whatever other euphemism for playing a role. It’s not unique to a condition.

My “masks” are only noteworthy because when I shift to something for gain I don’t have restraint in how far I go with it.

In the original post (didn’t read the thread) it just sounds like you’re trying to force a role on yourself that doesn’t take into consideration the person fully. You have this idea of a person and tried to mimic it and it was ineffective. Why aren’t you just going by the person and adapting? Maybe you lack empathy. It should just be natural. You meet someone and respond apppropiately. Sounds like you tried projecting an image that would feed your ego if used duplicity successfully. “I’m just a sweet cute innocent girl on they surface but beneath it is...” Why are you trying so hard?