Dealing with displays of affection

My family growing up always viewed any non-aggressive physical contact that wasn't a handshake as something sexual in nature (and therefore to be avoided), and I just can't seem to get over that (I mean, the beautiful people are fine, but somehow it's always the ugly ones that want hugs, ugh). So I understand the awkwardness.

As for affection in general, I have a hard time with responding to complements (my family didn't do that growing up either). "Thanks, you too" only works in certain situations, "Thanks" is a bit too short and leaves an awkward pause, "It's kind of you to say" sounds self-depricating (plus, they could be not kind at all), "Mhmm" or silent acceptance present an unfavorable image of a know-it-all (which, I am, but I don't want them to know, obviously), and disputing their statement is considered ungracious. And saying a complement in return is just brown-nosing if they didn't do anything to deserve it.

It's less of a self-loathing thing and more of a "Great, you just handed me a social puzzle during a perfectly good day" sort of thing.

dude... responding to compliments isn't that hard. My favorite way to respond to compliments is with a cheeky smile and a wink. You can also self deprecate and say "no im not " which makes most people compliment you again. You seem to think self-deprecation is bad but it's actually a sign of high status if you yourself are high status. Or just say thanks sweetie/thanks dude and keep the conversation flowing.

SakraNomoko wrote:
It's less of a self-loathing thing and more of a "Great, you just handed me a social puzzle during a perfectly good day" sort of thing.

It’s not a social puzzle. You just say thank you, you’re too kind, I disagree, but thanks anyway, or you too. If you like anything they’re wearing or their hair or even their shoe laces, just tell them and then walk away. Most of the compliments I get come from people walking down the street, so I just smile and say thank you and keep walking. It’s annoying, but thank you usually does it, as long as it’s accompamied by a smile.

I don't like it in private, but I like it in public because it allows me to show off how desirable I am.

I watch when people are affectionate like when I see hugging and handshaking and suchlike, just so I might be able to react properly when it happens to me.

It never feels right though because I am an empty shell.

CandleInTheWindow wrote:I watch when people are affectionate like when I see hugging and handshaking and suchlike, just so I might be able to react properly when it happens to me.

It never feels right though because I am an empty shell.

Did you say you are autistic? That doesn’t sound psycopathic or narcissistic for that matter.

CandleInTheWindow wrote:I watch when people are affectionate like when I see hugging and handshaking and suchlike, just so I might be able to react properly when it happens to me.

It never feels right though because I am an empty shell.

I can totally relate.

ZombieZ wrote:

CandleInTheWindow wrote:I watch when people are affectionate like when I see hugging and handshaking and suchlike, just so I might be able to react properly when it happens to me.

It never feels right though because I am an empty shell.

Did you say you are autistic?

Yes I did.

CandleInTheWindow wrote:

ZombieZ wrote:

CandleInTheWindow wrote:I watch when people are affectionate like when I see hugging and handshaking and suchlike, just so I might be able to react properly when it happens to me.

It never feels right though because I am an empty shell.

Did you say you are autistic?

Yes I did.

Aspergers or higher on the spectrum? I know someone with aspergers and it’s difficult to tell sometimes.

Aspergers and ADHD.