~ Fantasies ~

Sure, I was perfectly prepared to argue it with you but your childish behaviour and fear of ego damage is preventing that. So i’m just going to leave you to it.

madness00 wrote:

Reaper wrote:It was in my teens that I started having them more often because that's when I began to really want to kill people.

Tell me Reaper, what is it like to live with these fantasies?

How do you keep them at bay?

Do you find they developed over time?

I'll answer this later. Been busy.

Bumping this now so I remember to answer it later.

madness00 wrote:Dreamers and edge-lords, welcome.

It is not uncommon for individuals with personality disorders to have rich fantasy lives, as sometimes reality can hurt. Furthermore, it allows one to feel connected without the imprisonment of, for example, relationships or literal prison.

Here are several questions that i'd appreciate you to answer as honestly as you can:

1). What are your biggest fantasies? Great success? Ideal love? Rape? Murder? Explain.

2). Where do they stem from? Childhood? A movie?

3). How closely are they tied to reality? Have you made any steps toward them? Do you intend to?

Thanks.

1). Total controll.
2). As a child i was a loner and a dreamer, fantasies are best in the act of it and not in your fantasies as many say.
3). I have made it, there is steps but after that there will be new steps.

// Caspin the skinny one.

Reaper wrote:Tell me Reaper, what is it like to live with these fantasies?

When there's no urge they're pretty easy to live with. It's only when I get the urges to act on them that things can get a little (or a lot) frustrating at times.

How do you keep them at bay?

By avoiding situations that make it easier for me to act on impulse, and by finding alternative ways to release aggression, such as punching the fuk out of the boxing bag.

Do you find they developed over time?

They've evolved over time. Initially, they were just harmless thoughts of people being killed. When I hit my teens the thoughts turned to fantasies. It was in my teens that I first decided I was going to kill someone and made plans to do so. My desire to kill back then was focused more on people I knew and acquaintances.

As I grew older the fantasies became more sexually sadistic to enhance the pleasure of them and I started focusing more on random strangers. I began to develop stronger urges to act on them and I would actually go looking for prey. When I got my first computer the internet really opened up a new world to me. I could look for people to kill without even leaving home and trust me when I tell you I found plenty of potential victims.

The beauty of the internet is you can find all kinds of people who are willing to pay for all kinds of things and some who can be manipulated into doing so. It really is a predator's playground.

Of course, with all that said though, I've never killed anyone...

caspin wrote:

madness00 wrote:Dreamers and edge-lords, welcome.

It is not uncommon for individuals with personality disorders to have rich fantasy lives, as sometimes reality can hurt. Furthermore, it allows one to feel connected without the imprisonment of, for example, relationships or literal prison.

Here are several questions that i'd appreciate you to answer as honestly as you can:

1). What are your biggest fantasies? Great success? Ideal love? Rape? Murder? Explain.

2). Where do they stem from? Childhood? A movie?

3). How closely are they tied to reality? Have you made any steps toward them? Do you intend to?

Thanks.

1). Total controll.
2). As a child i was a loner and a dreamer, fantasies are best in the act of it and not in your fantasies as many say.
3). I have made it, there is steps but after that there will be new steps.

// Caspin the skinny one.

Edit, I liked to be alone in my own world.

Reaper wrote:, and by finding alternative ways to release aggression, such as punching the fuk out of the boxing bag.

I’ve always found this such useless advice/coping. When I’m angry I’m not angry at a pillow or a punching bag. I’m angry at someone or something (caused by or related to someone). I would like to beat the $#%^ out of them or that instead. An inanimate object does nothing for me. It did nothing to me, why would I want to “hurt” it, it doesn’t feel anything anyway

cutecactus wrote:

Reaper wrote:, and by finding alternative ways to release aggression, such as punching the fuk out of the boxing bag.

I’ve always found this such useless advice/coping. When I’m angry I’m not angry at a pillow or a punching bag. I’m angry at someone or something (caused by or related to someone). I would like to beat the $#%^ out of them or that instead. An inanimate object does nothing for me. It did nothing to me, why would I want to “hurt” it, it doesn’t feel anything anyway

You're talking about feeling angry at someone, I'm not. I'm talking about a violent, destructive force that isn't specifically directed at anyone. It often stems from the frustration of boredom or from just feeling stuck in the situation I'm in. I'm not always sure what causes it.

Even though I direct it at other people, I'm not angry at anyone.

I'm not saying that beating the fuk out of a boxing bag is a great release because it's not, but it does help to some degree. The main purpose is to avoid going out and finding myself in a situation that has me acting on reckless impulse. I try to stay focused on the boxing bag instead.

Yeah I was talking about myself here though it’s not like my aggression isn’t necessarily as random. If I got a €/$/£/¥ for every time a therapist recommended this to me.. ugh. Good for you though

I have a fantasy that I become rich buy my own castle with a moat protected by a dragon to keep the rest of humanity the hell away from me.

I don't have fantasies.