Reinforcement

What kind of reinforcement did you receive as a child?

Did your parents/caregivers lean more towards positive or negative reinforcement? For example, if you achieved something were your achievements acknowledged positively or were they ignored? If you misbehaved were you punished? Did they focus more on correcting "bad behaviour" than rewarding "good behaviour" or vice versa?

Please state your DX (or suspected DX) when answering.

Reinforcement, hmm..
I was basically invisible to my parents and left alone a good majority of the time. My mother tried raising me as a girl and if I didn't go along with that, she would get very nasty and at times abusive. My father was in his own little world and didn't care about anything really.
I would get rewarded for going along with who she wanted me to be and punished if I ever went around it.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, conduct disorder, aspd and schizophrenia.. I don't agree with any of it though

The only reinforcement I ever got was from my father when I performed at a high level or won some sort of award in a sport. The rest of the time, he was a piece of $#%^. That’s about it

Yeah I got reinforcement alright... My dad would beat the $#%^ out of me. All it did was make me fantasize about murdering him.

I've forgiven him tho.

I was always good with my hands - making things, building things. Whenever I did something that impressed my mother she'd encourage me to turn it into a career one day. For some reason that made me want to rebel against her even more. I think it was because it made me feel like I was being pushed in that direction and whenever someone pushes me I just want to push back. I didn't want her encouragement.

There was some pretty harsh punishment I guess because my mother had a really bad temper and when she lost it, she lost it. Though I don't think I was punished as much as my brother and sister were. I seemed to get away with a lot.

Reaper wrote:I was always good with my hands - making things, building things. Whenever I did something that impressed my mother she'd encourage me to turn it into a career one day. For some reason that made me want to rebel against her even more. I think it was because it made me feel like I was being pushed in that direction and whenever someone pushes me I just want to push back. I didn't want her encouragement.

There was some pretty harsh punishment I guess because my mother had a really bad temper and when she lost it, she lost it. Though I don't think I was punished as much as my brother and sister were. I seemed to get away with a lot.

hm

i 100% understand your reaction to being pushed, but if it is as you say and she simply encouraged you to do what you were good at it, then she wasn't really pushing so much as directing you to be creative and productive, you know? maybe it seemed different back then, or maybe she was more controlling than your post suggest?


i hope you still work with your hands when you can=)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeATvJpBpe4

I have extremely dexterous hands. Can fly up and down instruments at a ridiculous pace and can keep playing forever but I’ve never been good at woodwork and stuff of that nature. Different kind of handy

solemnlysworn wrote:I have extremely dexterous hands. Can fly up and down instruments at a ridiculous pace and can keep playing forever but I’ve never been good at woodwork and stuff of that nature. Different kind of handy

music is intuitive and can be improvised and done without purpose, ideally..

construction usually has a set purpose and is thus schematic. deviation usually compromises the purpose

perhaps you just prefer a sense of freeflow =)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF6FluTRdD0

My gut reaction to this one was to say that I think it was mostly negative but having given it some thought I don’t think it was.

I think my parents were pretty balanced. They supported me to do most things I had an interest in as well as my education to a graduate level. They punished me when I did something wrong. I cannot recall being punished disproportionately or for something which was not my fault

The reason I was inclined to say no was two fold. Firstly I have always been my own harshest critic even when I was very young, the unforgiving intolerance which others sometimes encounter from me pales in comparison to that directed at myself. The negative way I felt about my performance as a child came from within not without.

Secondly I am not good at accepting praise. A therapist once described it in terms of the number of ‘pats’ a person needs day to day and suggested my need is extremely low, which is not strictly true. If I’m not satisfied with my work and someone praises me for it I tend to feel embarrassed, depressed or patronised and more often than not will dismiss it as insincere. I can remember quite a lot of occasions when my mother or father would try to tell me something was good, only to have an annoyed me inform them that it was in fact shite, before attempting to fix it.

Issues with reinforcement happened outside of the home rather than in it. The main issue I had at primary school was that it was always assumed that I was at fault in any altercation. Equally I was not pliant as while both negative and positive reinforcement had an effect it was not the desired one. Some teachers liked me, others did not which often led to positive or negative reinforcement with little consistency.

My diagnoses are PTSD and antisocial personality disorder and suspected bipolar I (not confirmed yet).

My parents neglected me so I was put in foster care when I was about 3 years old. My foster parents didn't believe in positive reinforcement, but they seemed to enjoy smacking me around for a bit. Their own child never got punished for anything he did, but I was the center of their loose hands. Also, when my foster mother thought I needed cooling off, she'd hold my head under the running tap.

I'd say they focused on the negative in my behavior, positive reinforcement was not something they were particularly good at.