Self-sabotaging behavior/patterns

It wasn't a suicide attempt. If I wanted to kill myself, I would be dead.

thats the spirit!

I try to get the most out of people. By that I seem to mean that I push them until they don't remember who they are. They will feel powerless and (attempt to) break stuff, which is not necessarily in my best interest.

Eurus wrote:I try to get the most out of people. By that I seem to mean that I push them until they don't remember who they are. They will feel powerless and (attempt to) break stuff, which is not necessarily in my best interest.

Are you implying that you engage in some indirect self-sabotage ?

I'm not sure in what way you try to get the most out of ppl and self-sabotage by doing so. But I would assume that you mean manipulation. If you are a skilled manipulator I would also assume that you wouldn't have problems with people attempting to break stuff in the first place. Their powerlessness would lie in their compliance and docility that they supposedly have ended up in when they become amnesiacs. Since your victims still attempt (and consequently fail i would assume) breaking stuff when they are powerless there should be no harm done I would assume and consequently no self-sabotage.

I’m stuck in a never ending loop of self sabotage that I both recognize and understand yet continue to participate in reguardless like I am some sort of helpless victim of my own impulse and desire to destroy myself. That was a little deep I know but it captures the feeling perfectly.

Is all of this self-sabotaging behavior rooted in the feeling of boredom or are there other reasons?

PavlovsPuddyTat wrote:Is all of this self-sabotaging behavior rooted in the feeling of boredom or are there other reasons?

If that was intended for me, I should say I understand the pattern but I can’t pin point exactly why. I think boredom is a big component but I suspect on some deep level I hate myself and want to destroy myself. That’s really just a hunch I’m not sure but it’s a suspicion

ZombieZ wrote:but I suspect on some deep level I hate myself and want to destroy myself.

grow some balls. you sound like a depressed teen.*mod edit*

It takes balls to face your problems and not to deny them and hide behind a false persona...

-- Sat Jun 30, 2018 6:30 pm --

RK how old are you?

u dont know why you self sabotage, safe to say youre not figuring it out soon. maybe you wont for the rest of your life. it makes me feel good knowing that you will die living in a cycle of destruction