Member Nominations

@ Tiberus
@ MrsB

Thanks.

@ naps

Same here...so help us god

@ Reaper

Correct...I forgot the suicidal part. Ok, 9) suicidal tendencies, not out of depression, but out of not living royally enough.

@ stream freak

Threads here are almost always derailed. Unsure why this one is more upsetting than any other one.

Re male borderlines:

Completely different from female borderlines. Intense in their behaviour, perhaps a bit emotionally reactive, but still thoroughly male in their responses. Its an intriguing dichotomy.

From my perspective a lot of people have a misinterpretation that all borderlines are super emo and sensitive. Sensitive, perhaps, but that sensitivity can come through in different ways.

Just some passing thoughts on it, anyways. It can be interesting to ponder the gender differences.

MrsB perhaps they "kicked" you out because you weren't quite playing along with their agenda. Doesn't mean you don't have traits. Perhaps just didn't fit in with the type of group they wanted to run. But idk.

MrsBrightside wrote:When I put myself in the BPD therapy group a few years ago there was males in the group, they were all getting into trouble for violence and grabbing their girlfriends. One was for stalking. Did/do you do any of that? One of them was a BPD with autism and he was probably just too smart to deal with anything and eternally frustrated, another drank too much and was sent to rehab as well. They were all good looking. But it could have been wrong diagnosis because I turned out not to have BPD (I still think I have some traits) and they kicked me out.

What do you think you have now?

Doesn't surprise me, but borderline can present very differently from person to person. Harder to diagnose males than females given men usually mask it with other disorders (like GAD and depression) or substance addictions. The autism mix is interesting, though perhaps less relatable to myself than my posts may suggest (if that had crossed your mind). The good looking thing is probably just luck of the draw, but as repulsive as it might sound, I'm an objectively attractive person (though obviously, not a candle on your husband).

I don't have a dysfunctional personality disorder (but still in early stages of substance recovery; need several months of consistency first), but still have an extreme emotional range (the core to BPD when unstable) that can spin into a disordered state once I start smoking & drinking. No doubt I'm a narcissist (the amount of I's and my's and mine's I use + basic self-indulgency such as this post, being obvious tells) but I'm lacking several trait components to NPD; my narcissism has grown from feedback I received growing up and in general, as well as from the careers I've started. I need to dial it back, but it's hardly pervasive (more the leadership-type positive narcissism, with too much vanity).

This is way off topic and super indulgent, but only had 45 minutes sleep, so screw it.

Having BPD + having above average emotional-visual-verbal intelligence (+ mindfulness) is like an Olympic swimmer being dropped in the North Sea. Once you get the hang of it (the swimming), so long as you can master yourself, the extreme emotional intelligence you develop becomes an effective tool in a huge variety of tasks and situations. If it helps, in person I've been told I'd make a good psychopath (incidentally, by a sociopath who lives next door). Still have occasional issues of anxiety and disassociation (and until recently, depression), but you learn to manage and push through them.

BPD is a real asshole when left unchecked, but a strength if it can be mastered (the same as anything seemingly impossible to overcome, that someone then overcomes). I'd already been working on mindfulness since 2008 so luckily had much of it under control before the diagnosis, save for addiction and career problems.

Will Incandenza wrote:

MrsBrightside wrote:When I put myself in the BPD therapy group a few years ago there was males in the group, they were all getting into trouble for violence and grabbing their girlfriends. One was for stalking. Did/do you do any of that? One of them was a BPD with autism and he was probably just too smart to deal with anything and eternally frustrated, another drank too much and was sent to rehab as well. They were all good looking. But it could have been wrong diagnosis because I turned out not to have BPD (I still think I have some traits) and they kicked me out.

What do you think you have now?

Doesn't surprise me, but borderline can present very differently from person to person. Harder to diagnose males than females given men usually mask it with other disorders (like GAD and depression) or substance addictions. The autism mix is interesting, though perhaps less relatable to myself than my posts may suggest (if that had crossed your mind). The good looking thing is probably just luck of the draw, but as repulsive as it might sound, I'm an objectively attractive person (though obviously, not a candle on your husband).

I don't have a dysfunctional personality disorder (but still in early stages of substance recovery; need several months of consistency first), but still have an extreme emotional range (the core to BPD when unstable) that can spin into a disordered state once I start smoking & drinking. No doubt I'm a narcissist (the amount of I's and my's and mine's I use + basic self-indulgency such as this post, being obvious tells) but I'm lacking several trait components to NPD; my narcissism has grown from feedback I received growing up and in general, as well as from the careers I've started. I need to dial it back, but it's hardly pervasive (more the leadership-type positive narcissism, with too much vanity).

This is way off topic and super indulgent, but only had 45 minutes sleep, so screw it.

Having BPD + having above average emotional-visual-verbal intelligence (+ mindfulness) is like an Olympic swimmer being dropped in the North Sea. Once you get the hang of it (the swimming), so long as you can master yourself, the extreme emotional intelligence you develop becomes an effective tool in a huge variety of tasks and situations. If it helps, in person I've been told I'd make a good psychopath (incidentally, by a sociopath who lives next door). Still have occasional issues of anxiety and disassociation (and until recently, depression), but you learn to manage and push through them.

BPD is a real asshole when left unchecked, but a strength if it can be mastered (the same as anything seemingly impossible to overcome, that someone then overcomes). I'd already been working on mindfulness since 2008 so luckily had much of it under control before the diagnosis, save for addiction and career problems.

A lot of what BPD is, it sounds like, is a form of extreme emotional reaction, but those reactions can take different forms. In your case, it sounds like it took the form of substance abuse, smoking and drinking, disassociation, and other times you just soldiered through the anxiety.

I think lots of people have a distorted view of what BPD really is, especially male BPD. Especially when given how differently people can react to their symptoms.

I think its a good question why a lot of borderlines end up here on the ASPD forum, though. It probably has something to do with the fact the BPD forum doesn't quite meet our needs. Not all of our, anyways. Sort of how MrsB was kicked out of her group. I wonder if some of us are afraid if we post too much in the BPD forum we will be kicked out or banned, etc. PDs can have a wide range of behaviours. I post in the BPD forum at times when someone posts something and I think I have something productive to say. But reaching out for support or help is not in my nature. Most of the time I log on here when I'm bored and need a distraction, which is part of PD. So its a form of support to use the forum for that, also. But, the BPD forum would be inappropriate for that, mostly.

Not everybody needs or wants emotional support. Some disorders are not set up that way, and there are also gender differences in how we handle our disorders.

How about you guys start your own thread if you want to talk about BPD or anything else unrelated to this thread.

I want to see more people post their member choices.

For whatever I have, I don't need emotional support... I got kicked out because I turned the group into my bitch and was running t heir emotions while showing none. She said you're probably antisocial and that's ok because you're still a good person willing to try. I didn't get kicked out of contacting her. I talked to her recently and she was nice.

I am unsure what a wide range of emotions feels like. I have floods of rage/anger but otherwise not that many emotions in general. I also don't self harm. I don't know. When she asked me why I joined and I told her she was like oh.. well.. I think we're going to graduate you early next week and stop wasting our time.

MrsBrightside wrote:For whatever I have, I don't need emotional support... I got kicked out because I turned the group into my bitch and was running t heir emotions while showing none.

What a bunch of bullshlt. Fuk off out of my thread.

Reaper wrote:

MrsBrightside wrote:For whatever I have, I don't need emotional support... I got kicked out because I turned the group into my bitch and was running t heir emotions while showing none.

What a bunch of bullshlt. Fuk off out of my thread.

start a new thread i guess, this got ruined page 2 anyway - i can write the next one anyone - and since i technically wrote this one, it's my thread, you just posted it

i like reaper a lot more when i drink

MrsBrightside wrote:start a new thread i guess

No, I'm keeping this one. You need to find somewhere else to post.

i can write the next one anyone - and since i technically wrote this one, it's my thread, you just posted it

You didn't technically write this one at all, not even remotely. I've posted threads similar to this one previously. All you did was share some ideas that aren't much different from what I've posted in the past.

have you done an imagine we're all in BPD therapy one? or the same prison?