MrsBrightside wrote:When I put myself in the BPD therapy group a few years ago there was males in the group, they were all getting into trouble for violence and grabbing their girlfriends. One was for stalking. Did/do you do any of that? One of them was a BPD with autism and he was probably just too smart to deal with anything and eternally frustrated, another drank too much and was sent to rehab as well. They were all good looking. But it could have been wrong diagnosis because I turned out not to have BPD (I still think I have some traits) and they kicked me out.
What do you think you have now?
Doesn't surprise me, but borderline can present very differently from person to person. Harder to diagnose males than females given men usually mask it with other disorders (like GAD and depression) or substance addictions. The autism mix is interesting, though perhaps less relatable to myself than my posts may suggest (if that had crossed your mind). The good looking thing is probably just luck of the draw, but as repulsive as it might sound, I'm an objectively attractive person (though obviously, not a candle on your husband).
I don't have a dysfunctional personality disorder (but still in early stages of substance recovery; need several months of consistency first), but still have an extreme emotional range (the core to BPD when unstable) that can spin into a disordered state once I start smoking & drinking. No doubt I'm a narcissist (the amount of I's and my's and mine's I use + basic self-indulgency such as this post, being obvious tells) but I'm lacking several trait components to NPD; my narcissism has grown from feedback I received growing up and in general, as well as from the careers I've started. I need to dial it back, but it's hardly pervasive (more the leadership-type positive narcissism, with too much vanity).
This is way off topic and super indulgent, but only had 45 minutes sleep, so screw it.
Having BPD + having above average emotional-visual-verbal intelligence (+ mindfulness) is like an Olympic swimmer being dropped in the North Sea. Once you get the hang of it (the swimming), so long as you can master yourself, the extreme emotional intelligence you develop becomes an effective tool in a huge variety of tasks and situations. If it helps, in person I've been told I'd make a good psychopath (incidentally, by a sociopath who lives next door). Still have occasional issues of anxiety and disassociation (and until recently, depression), but you learn to manage and push through them.
BPD is a real asshole when left unchecked, but a strength if it can be mastered (the same as anything seemingly impossible to overcome, that someone then overcomes). I'd already been working on mindfulness since 2008 so luckily had much of it under control before the diagnosis, save for addiction and career problems.