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crystal_richardson_ wrote:it is the choice to not act on it amidst the pressure of the urge to act on it that creates distress, it is not that one is unable to act on it, no one is physically stopping them, that is not the source of the distress

It's both. It's a choice to act or not to act on it. In certain places I can't act on it even if I wanted to, unless I plan to get caught and go to prison.

If you get the urge to kill in a public place, as I often have (because I usually hunt when I'm around a crowd of people) it makes it very difficult to act on it. I could choose to act on it of course, but that would be stupid in front of so many potential witnesses.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying that public places are the only places I experience the urge to kill. I can experience it anywhere there is potential, desirable prey, be it public or private.

explain hunting in public places, in relation to you

Dulcet wrote:explain hunting in public places, in relation to you

Hunting means looking for potential prey. Searching the crowd for someone to kill.

What I do is scan the crowd until I've found the right one (I know it when I see them). When I do this I'm reading body language, looking for someone who shows signs of weakness and vulnerability. Their physical appearance generally has to appeal to me too because it's kind of like looking for a one-night stand in a way, I'd rather kill someone who is attractive than someone who is ugly. I have my preferences.

Once I've found the right one I develop a kind of tunnel vision where my focus is entirely on them and that's when I start fantasizing about killing them. At some point the fantasy develops into an urge to kill.

Reaper wrote:Hunting means looking for potential prey. [...] What I do is scan the crowd...

Why do you go looking for potential prey in a place where you're guaranteed not to be able to act? Is your intent to follow them until they're alone (or maybe to their home), or are you just setting yourself up for frustration?

fiveintime wrote:

Reaper wrote:Hunting means looking for potential prey. [...] What I do is scan the crowd...

Why do you go looking for potential prey in a place where you're guaranteed not to be able to act? Is your intent to follow them until they're alone (or maybe to their home), or are you just setting yourself up for frustration?

I go into what I call 'automatic hunt mode' whether I initially when out with the intent to kill or not. It's like something predatory inside me switches on. That's the only way I can describe it.

I find hunting pleasurable. I enjoy it, and besides, when I'm surrounded by potential prey it's kinda hard not to go looking for opportunity.

The desire to kill is always there. It never really goes away.

I've spoken about that, in different terms. I talk about grounding and complete presence and attention and feeling 'switched on' and other euphemisms that would go under hunter mode because I feel the same kind of predatory mindset at the time. Is that normal and a feeling most people get?

Well done girls 3-1 Crystal VS The CAT.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:
and of course someone could relapse, but as long as they no longer feel the distress at not being able to act on the urge, even if it requires a particular routine where they say avoid consuming the thing or substance in question, and that avoidance or whatever coping mechanism doesn't in and of itself create significant new issues i would say that is 'complete' (ly gone) in terms of mental illness (illness = suffering)

I agree, but I still find it really difficult to see how anyone with significant issues in this regard would ever state that they are completely free of the drivers.

Either the urges / drivers were not that significant (deeply ingrained) or they're deluding themselves into thinking they've gone.

I've made statements to people before saying "I'm fine" when I know that I'm not, because I didn't want to stop doing something. It's clear that Five does not have a condition qualifying for a diagnosis, which has been said, and this is born out in the relatively simple way that he's been able to come to this position.

In a relatively short period of time, he's gone from murdering urges to completely cured and able to come here and openly discuss what could be seen as triggering topics with anyone with impunity (Oddly - but understandably - timed with Reaper's argument with Eight).

It seems clear that the level of urges he experienced didn't come anywhere close to requiring a diagnosis, so they could apply to virtually anyone.

0-1 - Crystal VS Jomp.

unless they act on them, and in a patterned way, no one gets a diagnosis of aspd for just urges anyway

i think in five's case it was a separate, specific issue, not related to aspd which i gather is five's take on it as well

so when talking of 'curing' of urges, i don't think we are talking of 'curing' of aspd, perhaps that implication mislead you?

this is the aspd forum, but consider that such urges can occur in a variety of contexts; my posts were specifically addressing the issue not the condition as a whole