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fiveintime wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:This surprises me. You mean that the desire is now gone?

Yep--completely.

justonemoreperson wrote:A sober alcoholic is still an alcoholic.

Yeah--absolutely. That's where I was for a while. Therapy and and a lot of effort took the edge off, but the underlying issues weren't entirely healed. I didn't have what I would call urges, but if I chose to go there, there was still something. That was the most confusing time. At the beginning, it was obvious I had a problem, but when I was in that "sober alcoholic" time, it seemed plausible that this thing was maybe just some core aspect of who I was.

It was a long process to dig down through the layers of myself to the point that even the appeal was completely gone.

Reaper wrote:Just because you've changed doesn't mean that you and I are that much different from each other.

You and I are night and day different. We always were, even when I was at my worst. I'm extremely competent in every aspect of my life; if your description of yourself is accurate, you're kind of a loser. No offense.

If you don’t mind me asking. We’re you drinking a lot and or using any drugs at the time? If so do you think that had a lot to do with your mental state at the time. Also are you on any medication now like anti depressants, and do you think those are helping?

reaper, five actually wanted to kill people and wasn't satisfied with just fantasizing as you are, that is a potentially real problematic addiction.

you are indeed night and day different and some of you talk as if these 'urges' are all the same across you. it's possible that the nature of these 'urges' is vastly different between each of you in terms of addictive quality, satisfaction with just fantasy vs compulsion to do, regularity/frequency, TRIGGERS (such that they could spring up at the most inopportune times for some vs others), etc.

even things like whether they are a source of pride or not.

if you read back on some of fives older posts he does explain the nature of his urges (past tense) and they were indeed different from what many on here have described as their own. but it's notable that even across those who currently have them they are also vastly different, so wonder what is the basis of this surprise as if you guys are all talking about the same thing -- you are not

crystal_richardson_ wrote: so wonder what is the basis of this surprise as if you guys are all talking about the same thing -- you are not

My surprise is not that he's not having urges, the surprise is the word "completely."

I'm struggling to think of a single condition / addiction / mental illness that can be that confident that whatever it was is completely gone.

People who use absolutes in this way are usually doing so more to convince themselves than anyone else.

Sex addiction works the way five is describing. You develop faux-fetishes which are very much like a delusion that f*cks off when the underlying problem is attacked.

Quoth wrote:Sex addiction works the way five is describing. You develop faux-fetishes which are very much like a delusion that f*cks off when the underlying problem is attacked.

I've read that some pregnant women have intense cravings for really odd, unhealthy things, like dirt, chalk, or paint. Apparently, the underlying issues are usually a mineral deficiency, like lack of iron. Once they get the nutrition they need, the cravings dissolve. Same sort of deal, but psychology is obviously a lot more complicated to diagnose and fix.

You could also compare it to an infected wound. Once you kill off the infection, the wound can heal by itself.

ZombieZ wrote:If you don’t mind me asking. We’re you drinking a lot and or using any drugs at the time? If so do you think that had a lot to do with your mental state at the time. Also are you on any medication now like anti depressants, and do you think those are helping?

No. I (usually) drink in moderation, don't take drugs, and never taken anti-depressants.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:reaper, five actually wanted to kill people and wasn't satisfied with just fantasizing as you are, that is a potentially real problematic addiction.

You don't read most of my posts, do you.

I actually want to kill people, you dumb fuking bitch. What do you think the urge to kill is...

Five is the one who must have been satisfied with fantasising or he wouldn't be 'cured' now.

I've done more than fantasize.

Reaper wrote:I've done more than fantasize.

We all have... Dry count.

justonemoreperson wrote:

crystal_richardson_ wrote: so wonder what is the basis of this surprise as if you guys are all talking about the same thing -- you are not

My surprise is not that he's not having urges, the surprise is the word "completely."

You asked if his desire is gone. He answered "Yes, completely."
That's his present day experience.
Are you asking if that is cast in stone and can never come up again? If so, that's a different question.
I'd imagine that it's possible that, given the right situation or the right pressures or the right mindset, it might come up again.
But it's really just a strategy to try to get one's needs met. If you have the capacity to see under the drive to the ruse, to recognize the defenses for what they are, and are convinced that the strategy is a failed one, I can't see that you'd adopt the very same strategy that has already failed to work for you.
I'd imagine that someone creative, inventive and strategic would choose to employ a different thing, unless a disorder prevents the choosing which goes back to capacity.
We've all got strategies going. Some are more adaptive than others, and some lead to a more comfortably satisfying and useful way of being.

I'm struggling to think of a single condition / addiction / mental illness that can be that confident that whatever it was is completely gone.

Which might be why he agreed with the statement 'a sober drunk is still a drunk'. And I think he agreed 'absolutely' - lol.

it's not so much the future, I also find it hard to see how it wouldn't still be there, beneath the surface.

An alcoholic avoids pubs and other places where alcohol is sold. And yet, so confident that he comes here to discuss the past.

As a counsellor, you'll be aware that most ingrained behaviours and drives cannot be removed, only managed.

On my "best" days, it's there.

-- 17 Apr 2018, 19:57 --

Eight wrote:Which might be why he agreed with the statement 'a sober drunk is still a drunk'. And I think he agreed 'absolutely' - lol.

Then it's not "completely."