Casual Chat

crystal_richardson_ wrote:i think guys fear fighting girls when they start hitting them in a rage because they can't go full out on them but she can and does.

you can only defend yourself to a point before you need to hit someone back right?

well if you can't hit back you're actually at a huge disadvantage.

so it's like what guys fear is their own strength and the consequences of losing their cool in a situation where their nature is to blast their opponent with all they got.

that's what to looks like to me anyhow..

A size disparity helps overcome this fear of "hitting"
because you can maybe overpower them in another way

like bondage, wrestle them into submissive position, handcuff or tie down

then what? i dunno

I would love a vent/rage thread with no swear filter. Otherwise it's pointless.

joltaire wrote:

crystal_richardson_ wrote:i think guys fear fighting girls when they start hitting them in a rage because they can't go full out on them but she can and does.

you can only defend yourself to a point before you need to hit someone back right?

well if you can't hit back you're actually at a huge disadvantage.

so it's like what guys fear is their own strength and the consequences of losing their cool in a situation where their nature is to blast their opponent with all they got.

that's what to looks like to me anyhow..

A size disparity helps overcome this fear of "hitting"
because you can maybe overpower them in another way

like bondage, wrestle them into submissive position, handcuff or tie down

then what? i dunno

bear hug!

crystal_richardson_ wrote:i think guys fear fighting girls when they start hitting them in a rage because they can't go full out on them but she can and does.

you can only defend yourself to a point before you need to hit someone back right?

well if you can't hit back you're actually at a huge disadvantage.

so it's like what guys fear is their own strength and the consequences of losing their cool in a situation where their nature is to blast their opponent with all they got.

that's what to looks like to me anyhow..

I've been badly injured a couple times. But these were strong guys

I almost always date physically strong guys

so I don't know if it was their full strength, but I think there was some loss of control there

i agree it can be a release for both. it feels really good, at the time, to let it out. for both people, in a way. so it can also be hard to control yourself

its like sex. you don't want to stop before you cum...same with releasing aggression, you want to let it all out, or you're frustrated

its like a weird alternative form of sex, in a way

or maybe that's just a disordered way of thinking

i think desire and aggression are closely linked, though

there is a weird carnal pleasure in beating someone up, especially if you don't have to hold back, or lose control over yourself, its very cathartic

i also date big guys.

i don't get pleasure from physically beating them up though, and actually i kind of expect for them not to let me do that.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:

joltaire wrote:like bondage, wrestle them into submissive position, handcuff or tie down

then what? i dunno

bear hug!

Yes crystal,

"bear hug"

crystal_richardson_ wrote:i also date big guys.

i don't get pleasure from physically beating them up though, and actually i kind of expect for them not to let me do that.

really?

so how do you let your anger out?

do they ever trigger you to where you want to be violent?

or, if they hit you, its not a natural reaction to want to hit back?

sometimes, i can just take it. i had a boyfriend that liked to smack me

its embarrassing to admit. but...i had a fetish for a long time of someone smacking me (i asked a few guys but they were repulsed)

so this guy liked to do it, so of course, i let him, and it sort of sucked, but in a masochistic way i enjoyed it, while hating it

maybe that's the same sort of thing?

it was sort of a consensual thing, then. but if he did it nonconsensually.....it made me rage at him to the point that he was like, pale, and sweating....(and i'm talking about a 200+ pound body builder covered in tattoos that took steroids)

just part two to that response:

i find expressing most of my negative emotions only makes things worse. i have a tendency to escalate and escalate with no ceiling until everything in the house is broken.

that hasn't happened in a while however because i don't feel most of my negative emotions. the only negative emotions i feel are things like envy, envy is productive and motivating for me in many ways so i don't even consider it negative.

i also feel completely disgusting sometimes but i just lock myself in my room for a few hours problem solves.

my guess is you rage at your bfs because you'll still butthurt over abuse from your father?

that wasn't intended to be insensitive, but that's what it seems like to me.

i have a lot of resentment from the past but i've mostly squashed it now, or sublimate it through other emotions like envy and self-righteousness.

-- Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:01 pm --

joltaire wrote:

crystal_richardson_ wrote:

joltaire wrote:like bondage, wrestle them into submissive position, handcuff or tie down

then what? i dunno

bear hug!

Yes crystal,

"bear hug"

-- Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:03 pm --

justagirl00 wrote:

crystal_richardson_ wrote:i also date big guys.

i don't get pleasure from physically beating them up though, and actually i kind of expect for them not to let me do that.

really?

so how do you let your anger out?

see above. i basically deny there is any reason to be angry, and also by making sure nobody wins. i think in all these years i've never admitted a defeat. i used to be a very angry person and it wasn't teenage angst, it had deep legitimate roots. but then i discovered as long i come out on top there is no anger.

-- Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:10 pm --

justagirl00 wrote:or, if they hit you, its not a natural reaction to want to hit back?

sometimes, i can just take it. i had a boyfriend that liked to smack me

its embarrassing to admit. but...i had a fetish for a long time of someone smacking me (i asked a few guys but they were repulsed)

so this guy liked to do it, so of course, i let him, and it sort of sucked, but in a masochistic way i enjoyed it, while hating it

maybe that's the same sort of thing?

that's another thing.

yes, it's flipping sadism into masochism, and taking the aggression out on yourself. that works for me as well. i used to burn myself with cigarettes and lighters as well, or let people do it to me too. but i stopped that because it made a mess of my body.

justagirl00 wrote:it was sort of a consensual thing, then. but if he did it nonconsensually.....it made me rage at him to the point that he was like, pale, and sweating....(and i'm talking about a 200+ pound body builder covered in tattoos that took steroids)

i understand that. and the sheer fact that it tires you out, you don't feel angry any more.

anger is sometimes just excess energy. but things can trigger us such that we believe they caused that energy and so we direct our anger at them or it even though it may have had nothing to do with our sense of excess energy.

it's worth recognizing when it's just excess energy, and not a response to anything in particular. but it's hard not to attribute it to something in the moment when you have so many things you are resentful about.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:
my guess is you rage at your bfs because you'll still butthurt over abuse from your father?

that wasn't intended to be insensitive, but that's what it seems like to me.

i have a lot of resentment from the past but i've mostly squashed it now, or sublimate it through other emotions like envy and self-righteousness.

you can squash it?

i tried that and i ended up having panic attacks or insomnia or extremely self-destructive behavior

its just not possible to squash it, for me, i found

maybe you can share your techniques?

or is it drugs? weed helped me a lot, but i had to quit

yeah, its because of abuse from my father, i think.

other people survive a marriage with a narcissist and end up scarred for life.....imagine being a child trapped with that your whole life..

yeah, its true. but, honestly, no way to escape it

anyways, i don't come on here to the AsPD forum to "bleed"

more, to vent, if you guys don't mind

you guys can take it on the chin

that's why i think maybe we should have some venting threads on here...i think it would help society...we can vent here, or we can go beat someone up, and get arrested...what is the greater purpose of psychforums? to help people with mental health issues, and to help society, as a whole?

so we should be able to let out our aggression, unfettered...i think...

anger is something both bpd and aspd deal with so it's not like it's off-topic.

i don't know if squash it is the right word. more like sublimate it?

find some way to come out on top, even if that means denial, more delusions, etc.

like i found contempt is a great replacement for anger. tap into your narcissism to overcome your infantile bpdish butthurt, and release your anger in cold, calculated passive-aggressive systematic ways rather than in childish outbursts that only defeat you further.

it's all about modifying the expression, even of the strongest acute emotions.